- Joseph Finley: [to Alma] They say if we go with them, we'll live forever. And that's good. It's probably going to take you an eternity to forgive me... Alma, I'm sorry. I guess I was being ridiculous. I'm sorry. I love you. You're my whole life. I wanna go. But if it's a choice of only six more months here with you or living forever all by myself, well I'll take the six more months here with you. I don't want to live forever if you're not going to be with me.
- Walter: I want you all to consider what I am about to suggest to you. You people seem to want what we've got. Well, we have room for you. We have room for you and about 30 of your friends. You would be students of course, but you'd also be teachers. And the new civilizations you would be travelling to would be unlike anything you've ever seen before. But I promise you, you will all lead productive lives.
- Ben Luckett: Forever?
- Walter: We don't know what forever is.
- Ben Luckett: I got a couple of things I... I need to talk about with you.
- David: Yeah?
- Ben Luckett: Yeah. I guess me and your grandma are going away, David.
- David: Where to?
- Ben Luckett: Well, that's not important. What's important is that when we get where we're going, we'll never be sick, we won't get any older and we won't ever die.
- David: You're joking me, right?
- Ben Luckett: No. No.
- David: Would I be able to visit you and Grandma?
- Ben Luckett: No. And we wouldn't be able to visit you, either. And that kind of bothers me.
- David: I'd never see you again?
- Ben Luckett: No.
- David: When would you go, if you did?
- Ben Luckett: Soon, my boy. Soon. And do you know where?
- David: Where?
- Ben Luckett: Look up. Outer space, my lad. Outer space.
- David: Who's gonna take you to outer space?
- Ben Luckett: It don't matter. You wouldn't believe me if I told you, and I can't tell your mother, because she'd then know her old man had snapped his cap.
- Ben Luckett: I wonder if they'll have fishing holes there. There's some things they won't have. They won't have grandsons, and they won't have baseball games, and they won't have hot dogs, and they won't have that kind of stuff. And... I'm gonna miss them.
- Ben Luckett: So you think it's like Bernie said? We're cheating nature?
- Mary Luckett: Yes.
- Ben Luckett: Well I'll tell ya, with the way nature's been cheating us, I don't mind cheating her a little.
- Art Selwyn: [singing] Oh I'm in the mood for love.
- Ben Luckett: Will you listen to this guy, he'll be chasing them dolls 'til his dick runs off.
- Art Selwyn: Oh I'm too old for that sort of thing.
- Joseph Finley: Age isn't everything.
- Art Selwyn: Nope.
- Joseph Finley: Anyway it's all up here.
- Ben Luckett: Not all up there, Pal. Some of it's down here, which I might add is stiff as a board.
- Art Selwyn: You too? You got a boner too?
- Ben Luckett: Blue steel. Cat couldn't scratch it.
- Joseph Finley: I thought I was the only one.
- Art Selwyn: [singing] We're in the mood for love, simply because we've got one.
- Joseph Finley: You think there's cocaine in that pool?
- Ben: Might be.
- Joseph Finley: What if we O.D.?
- Ben: We'll keep an eye on each other. I'll watch him
- [pointing to Joe]
- Ben: , you watch him
- [pointing to Art]
- Ben: , you watch me.
- Art Selwyn: Perfect.
- Jack Bonner: I wouldn't accuse you of dishonesty! I accuse you of being from another planet, but an honest planet!
- Ben Luckett: [Stepping into the freezing cold pool] Whoa, that'll make your ol' ball sack shrivel up.
- Jack Bonner: [after leaping off his boat and swimming away from the Antereans, then stopping to review his situation] I'm in the water... far from shore. It's at night... and they have my boat.... Shit.
- Mary Luckett: Well I for one don't believe any of this alien crap.
- Alma Finley: You mean you don't believe your husband?
- Mary Luckett: No, I don't believe him.
- Alma Finley: Well I believe him and I'm scared.
- Bess McCarthy: Well I don't believe him and I'm still scared!
- Bernard Lefkowitz: I'm a citizen. I believe in this country. In 1945, Dutch Scholtz walked into my store and he said...
- Joseph Finley: Bernie, if you don't wanna do this for Rose and you don't wanna do this for yourself that's fine, that's your business, but if you screw this up for the rest of us...
- Bernard Lefkowitz: Don't threaten me, Joe, I don't need any of your threats. We're not doing it and that's final!
- [Walks away]
- Ben Luckett: Anyone having second thoughts?
- Art Selwyn: I'm a citizen too. I was in the navy. I don't see anything wrong with it.
- Ben Luckett: Then you drive. I got no license.
- Art Selwyn: Men should be explorers, no matter how old they are. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm going.
- Ben Luckett: Ain't a son of a bitch in the world has to know we're in that pool. We'd just be a few old farts paddlin' around in that pool. Who's gonna know?
- Art Selwyn: [after witnessing the indoor swimming pool being purchased] Club house is closed, Gentlemen.
- Joseph Finley: Maybe they could give us permission to use the pool. We could pay them something.
- Art Selwyn: It wouldn't be fun if we had permission.
- Jack Bonner: [has just discovered the aliens and is trying to escape by trying to start his boat] I've had all kinds of people on this boat. All races, all nationalities, all creeds. Oh my God, I can't believe it won't start!
- Ben Luckett: [after failing his driver's license renewal due to not being able to read the eye chart] They don't make road signs that small.
- Ben Luckett: Bernie, why don't you stop being like that. We're doing this for Joe.
- Bernie: Joe? Is Joe above the law?
- Ben Luckett: Yeah.
- Joseph Finley: I feel great.
- Ben Luckett: You wouldn't bullshit me?
- Joseph Finley: My God, I'm telling the truth!
- Art Selwyn: Why shouldn't he feel good? I feel tremendous! I'm ready to take on the world!
- Ben Luckett: [about Bess] Gonna do anything about that one?
- Art Selwyn: 'Already have.
- Ben Luckett: Put it to her?
- Art Selwyn: You're disgusting.
- Ben Luckett: So then you haven't, huh?
- Art Selwyn: What?
- Ben Luckett: I said, "so then you haven't."
- Ben Luckett: So you went to the doctor, what did he say?
- Joseph Finley: Oh it's a breeze. Everything is fine.
- Ben Luckett: Hey wait a minute. This is ME you're talking to. Now you went to the Goddamn doctor. What did he say?
- Joseph Finley: [after a pause] Doctor's don't know everything.
- Ben Luckett: Well there is the one school of thought that says they don't know nothing.
- Jack Bonner: Look, I don't want to get rough with you, pal, but I'm not taking half the money.
- Passenger: Alright then, give it back.
- Jack Bonner: Hey, what are you... Just... Get your ass of my boat, Man. Get your ass off my boat. Do you believe this? And, take your embarrassing beach towel with you.