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Armand Assante and Laurene Landon in J'aurai ta peau (1982)

User reviews

J'aurai ta peau

25 reviews
7/10

Barbara Carrera at her sexiest

This actually a combination of two Spillane books "I the Jury" and "The Body Lovers" This is not a great film, but good. The action and plot are pretty good and Assante gives a decent performance, but the thing that I remember the most is just how damn sexy Barbara Carrera is in this movie. I watched this movie with my mom on cinemax one night when I was in junior high school and I had to sit with a pillow on my lap. She blows away Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. She's very tempting at the end when she confronts Mike Hammer and he's got to make a life and death decision. This movie belongs to her. She has been good in other movies, but this is her best performance. It's worth watching for any fan of Barbara Carrera and sleazy action movies
  • duke1907
  • Dec 30, 2002
  • Permalink
7/10

"It was easy".

Oh the 70s was a great time for crime features… although "I, the Jury" was made in the early eighties it had me thinking it was from the 70s like some sort leftovers that found itself in the wrong decade. And hey that's not a bad thing at all. Originally it looked like it was cult-filmmaker Larry Cohen's project, as he penned the screenplay and was to direct to only be replaced by Richard T. Heffron (Futureworld). This is another adaptation of novelist's Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer character. Private detective Mike Hammer looks into the case to seek revenge when he learns of the killing of his one-armed ex-army buddy. What he digs up about his mate's death, is something quite big.

"I, the Jury" is a tough as nails, lean and steamy pulp crime / film noir feature that's sexually charged (an opened orgy sequence) and brutally violent (a ghastly slit throat) amongst a rather seedy backdrop. Filling in the role as the iconic Mike Hammer is a fittingly hardboiled, but wry Armand Assante. Surrounding him is a bunch of attractive, but formidable ladies in the shape of Barbara Carrera and Laurene Landon. Also you got the likes of Paul Sorvino, Alan King, Geoffrey Lewis and Barry Snider pitching in with good performances. Cohen's story remains exhaustively captivating; by always being on the move in what is a complicated web of conspiracies and leads. The dialogues are bold. Sometimes contrived in its actions, but it does open up a can of worms. Heffron's steadfast direction is economically staged with moments of thrilling engagements and brooding passages that he's not afraid to bare flesh, but at times it felt like I was watching a long-winded TV episode. Bill Conti composes a titillatingly smoking blues score, which installs a whirlwind of emotion.
  • lost-in-limbo
  • Jun 18, 2010
  • Permalink
6/10

Hammer Time

Private Detective Mike Hammer (Armand Assante) investigates the murder of his friend Jack Williams who lost his arm to the Tet Offensive. Pat Chambers (Paul Sorvino) is the lead police detective in the case. Jack's wife Myrna reveals that they had been going to sex therapist Dr. Charlotte Bennett. His investigation connects Mike to a secret military program with help from his beautiful secretary Velda. Soon, they're hunted by mysterious agents. Mike follows the gun to mobster Charles Kalecki (Alan King).

Finding the bug seems very random. There are conveniences and contrivances. It's fine for an 80's action movie. It has the harden charisma of Assante although there is a bit of European coolness about him. It gives Hammer a nice sexiness. The plot is quite convoluted which borders on a Bond movie. Instead of a noir pulp detective, Bond does seem like the bigger inspiration. It's not until he gets a little bloodied that it starts to feel noir. There is even a bevy of Bond beauties. The only thing missing is the exotic locations. It's strictly New York City and that's perfectly good with its remaining sleaze. It fits the sex and violence. The production is closer to TV level except for the R-rated elements.
  • SnoopyStyle
  • Dec 18, 2019
  • Permalink

I remember like it was yesterday......"You wanna rock an roll with me"

  • waldosanmiguel
  • Mar 13, 2005
  • Permalink
6/10

A Jury of One

  • sol-kay
  • Dec 22, 2004
  • Permalink
6/10

About what you would expect .....

"I The Jury" delivers about what you would expect from a 1980s action film. Armand Asante is the cocky private detective, hunting his best friend's killer. He bends the rules without investigation, leaving a trail of dead bodies and explosions. Geoffrey Lewis is a welcome addition, playing a recluse who points Assante in the right direction to begin the mayhem. There are strong sexy scenes with Assante and Barbara Carrera. There are some creative kills, like death by hot griddle, and the photography is certainly colorful. The story itself involves a government coverup utilizing a sex clinic as a front for their operations. All of this is sometimes difficult to follow, but things move along brisk enough to maintain interest. - MERK
  • merklekranz
  • Sep 26, 2018
  • Permalink
5/10

SEX and VIOLENCE --but is that all?

I THE JURY (1982), the first Mike Hammer movie since THE GIRL HUNTERS (1963). This was a half-hearted attempt to bring Hammer into the modern world-- or something. Armand Assante's too short & skinny, his accent's all wrong & he seems too laid-back about all the nastiness going on, like he's a wise-guy when he should be a dangerous Neanderthal. Laurene Landon's pretty, but she seems too helpless when the going gets rough-- and she's blonde! (Velda's supposed to be a brunette, how hard is it to get even the simple details right?) Paul Sorvino as Pat Chambers isn't bad, but he gets forced to involve Hammer against his will, while in the original, he happily fed Mike all the info he could, knowing Mike would not be held back by rules & regulations the way he would be as a cop. The highlight of the film is no doubt Barbara Carerra, who gets to have one HOT nude sex scene about 2/3rds of the way in-- but it doesn't seem like she's really given much chance to act. Her lack of ability, or just a director who has NO IDEA what he's doing? Someone said this looked and felt like a "tv movie"-- the only difference being, the excessive graphic violence, nudity & sex. And while the original I THE JURY was a very complex plot, which left you marvel at the way such a "thug" on the outside as Hammer could figure it out when nobody else could, here, too much is spelled out for the audience, and yet, not enough is spelled out clearly for any of it to really make sense. OY! Bill Conti tries his best with a high-powered jazz score, but it's no FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.

It's a fun flick and can be enjoyed for exactly what it is. But watching this again really makes me wish I had a good copy of the Biff Elliot film...
  • profh-1
  • Aug 3, 2008
  • Permalink
6/10

Hardboiled or just over-cooked

  • tomsview
  • Jun 30, 2021
  • Permalink
3/10

Not bad, but it's not Mike Hammer

Everywhere I look, people say that this is the best Mike Hammer film to date, and I can't help but ask "why?" It just isn't very Mike Hammer. If perhaps it was just a ripoff of the pulp classic "I, the Jury" with Armand Assante, I would have enjoyed it. As a movie, it's pretty good considering it was pure 1980's action. But as Mike Hammer, it's weak.

The biggest differences between true Mike Hammer and this movie is Armand Assante's portrayal. He does a fine acting job, but Hammer is MEAN and always angry. In this, Assante is either manic depressive or smirking at the bad guys that he just beat. Mike Hammer gets into fist fights. Armand just pushes some people down stairs, doesn't throw punches. At least they got the ending right, although Armand Assante was still way too melancholy.

I can say several positive things about this movie. The scene when Assante does a full assault on the criminal's compound with an M-16 is well directed, a good solid action scene (no way connected with the book). Velda and Assante's love interests were both more interesting to watch than the rest of the movie.

In closing, I would like to say that Hollywood still has the chance to make a good, solid film based on Mike Hammer. Two tips: FOLLOW THE BOOK. Regardless of which book you use, follow it. Spillane wrote better than 90% of Hollywood anyways. And second, get someone who can be a mean and downright angry Mike Hammer, not depressed. I think Michael Madsen would fit the job well, he has the right look and the right voice.
  • BSchin2188
  • Aug 22, 2003
  • Permalink
8/10

This jury rules

I The Jury is an exciting action flick from 82, I first saw two years later and I must say me and my friend, saddled up in front of the t.v were engrossed, and underage to watch this sort of thing, but who's counting. Again, I re-iterate, this is an exciting psychological action thriller, and our psycho really here is nuts. Armand Assante is tailor made for our great fictional detective, Mike Hammer. He's everything he should be. I loved the fact Assante was in this. They don't make films like this anymore. The 80's had the best decade of movies, and this one's a prime example, and is quite on the blood and guts side too. Investigating the murder of a close buddy who served with him in Nam, Hammer stumbles upon a conspiracy trying to plughole his efforts, people going at great lengths to stop him, and make sure that people he talks to are people who'll be having their last conversation. I gotta admit, this film has style and the beautiful Carrera. She runs a sex retreat, where lovers can participate in, sexual experiments, orgies, a no holds barred, practice, what have you. The scene with those two naked twins, the psycho, a younger better looking version of Richard Lynch, doing them, is intense, and as I can remember, provided heavy viewing on my first watch back in 84 that I got away, renting this R movie, as I did a few others. There's action aplenty in this tasty, flick that has sex, beautiful nudity, some sick violence, and Assante. The thrilling action climax is great, plus another little after climax, which has Assante properly avenging his friend's death. Too, a great scene has Assante giving a new meaning to catching a cab, when he traps a goon, his coat, half in and half out, before he's dragged behind, over the coarse bitumen. A must see flick, you must see.
  • videorama-759-859391
  • Feb 27, 2014
  • Permalink
4/10

Forgettable action film

There is a reason this film is hardly ever mentioned today: it's a completely average and forgettable actioner that looks and sounds like a TV-movie (spiced-up with a little nudity and some gratuitous sleaze). The script is murky and the direction lacks style. Having not read a Mickey Spillane book so far, I can not estimate how accurate Armand Assante's interpretation of Mike Hammer is, but his performance seems acceptable. Less acceptable is Barbara Carrera, who has one facial expression throughout the film; at least she has a nude scene, which explains her casting. Laurene Landon, whom you might remember from "All The Marbles", is wasted as Hammer's devoted secretary. (*1/2)
  • gridoon
  • May 22, 2005
  • Permalink

A Must for Barbara Carrera Fans

This so-so detective yarn feels more like a TV movie than the noir-ish piece of cinema you might expect from a Spillane novel. But it has a few moments.

What makes this movie worth watching is the smoking Nicaraguan beauty Barbara Carrera. She has a fully-nude love scene that steals the show. If you're a Barbara Carrera fan, you should rent this movie and fast-forward to that scene (a little over 1 hour into the movie). You won't be disappointed.
  • Antilles-7
  • May 24, 1999
  • Permalink
2/10

Regrettable attempt at sexed-up, R-rated film noir...

Author Mickey Spillane's hard-boiled crime novels might have seriously benefited from the new permissiveness of '70s and '80s Hollywood...but it turns out the filmmakers here weren't interested in doing anything creative with all the old clichés, and so we have Spillane's detective Mike Hammer making love to a sex therapist with saxophones blaring in the background. Hammer, whose New York office is across the street from the Pussycat Theatre (!), assigns himself to the murder case of his one-armed war buddy, with a dirty police chief, the C.I.A., and a sex clinic at the heart of the mystery. As Hammer, American-born Armand Assante is completely miscast. With his slurry, Euro-trash accent and indifferent expression, Assante saunters through like a male gigolo; rumpled panache doesn't come easily to him--and neither does leering. Assante isn't the mischievous or lascivious sort, and so when naked sex clinic bunnies pounce on him, his shooing them away seems more awkward and unrealistic than how the old-school private eyes used to handle the broads (either by getting rough or by taking care of their business off-screen). Director Richard T. Heffron does paltry work; he can't even stack the deck against Hammer convincingly, turning an interrogation/torture sequence into an episode out of "The Perils of Pauline". Barbara Carrera (as the operator of the sex clinic) is used only for her slim, exotic body and, though she's a stunning nude, it's an insult to any professional actor to be cast on the merits of their genitalia. Assante wouldn't know--he takes off his shirt but nothing more. * from ****
  • moonspinner55
  • Feb 19, 2008
  • Permalink
2/10

mike hammer it ain't

Hammer was a rawboned tough irishman private eye that ate nails for breakfast ... assante is a small skinny italian gigolo that's about as tough as a stick of butter in the sun ... he just doesn't cut the mustard even with the great supporting cast, especially the hot eye candy provided by the harris twins, leigh and lynette ... don't waste money to see this film
  • sandcrab277
  • Apr 13, 2020
  • Permalink
2/10

The verdict is in: B-O-L-O-G-N-A

As of this writing, I have not seen the original version of I, The Jury for which this movie is a remake. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Mike Hammer-based movies before. But holy cow, this movie was just absolute crap.

Mike Hammer's friend, Jack, a one-armed man, is murdered. Investigator Hammer, an unorthodox cop (so unorthodox that he freely contaminates crime scenes), is on the obvious mission to uncover the culprit. As Mike Hammer, Armande Assante, hardly seemed even bemused by the government/military corruption behind the murder. Nor the links to the mafia. Not even as it involved the sex clinic doctor. Neither was I given, the ridiculously mounting body count--both in terms of murders and the sex scenes until reaching an even more ridiculous ending.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to people interested in a good murder mystery. Although, I don't know how Mike Hammer fans would react to this movie, or whether they'd want to watch more Mike Hammer in action.
  • vertigo_14
  • Jan 11, 2004
  • Permalink
10/10

I,The Jury:The Uncut Edition.

  • morrison-dylan-fan
  • Nov 5, 2015
  • Permalink
5/10

Eye The Babes.

  • rmax304823
  • Apr 5, 2012
  • Permalink
3/10

Julia Barr and Paul Sorvino were the only ones in it who could act....

The other women were all basically bimbos who ended up nude at some point ................................................................. The main reason I watched the movie was to see Julia Barr. Unfortunately, she lost her head after only a few minutes and was not on until midway through the movie but it was cool to see one of the best actresses around today in an early role .................................................................. It was also cool seeing NYC in the early 80's before certain parts of the city were cleaned up. Some nostalgic items - The World Trade Center was of course still standing, the old yellow cabs were still used, Times Square was still raunchy. ................................. Paul Sorvino and Alan King added a bit of authenticity to the movie as New Yorkers....
  • drexellgs
  • Apr 4, 2005
  • Permalink
5/10

Armand Assante in the role of Mike Hammer

I've been watching Armand Assante since he was one of the Mike Powers on The Doctors some 37 years ago, and in all that time, I've never once thought of him as Mike Hammer. I still don't.

In I, the Jury, Hammer goes to work on a different kind of case as he tries to find the killer of Jack Williams, a man who served with him in Vietnam and, while retrieving Mike's helmet, lost his arm. Jack was investigating something when he was killed, but what? After consulting Jack's widow, Mike finds out they went to sex therapy at a clinic, so he starts there. The head of the clinic, the beautiful Dr. Bennett (Barbara Carrera) freezes him out of her office. Mike ultimately realizes that Jack was there working undercover and found out something that resulted in him being murdered. This winds up involving Mike with the CIA, a mental patient, bad cops, and a rogue Army officer.

Lots of violence and nudity and in the end for me anyway, not worth it. Assante does as good a job as he can, but he's no Mike Hammer. For one thing, he is too exotic-looking, for another, he's not hard-boiled. He's too smooth and his Mike is juxtaposed against the backdrop of some of the seedier parts of New York City in 1982, before Disney moved into Times Square. I did absolutely love seeing the New York where I lived - the Times Square smut, Colony Records, the Broadway/7th Aveue area, great fun.

Not really my type of thing. It may be if you like violence and nude women, this is for you.
  • blanche-2
  • Mar 4, 2012
  • Permalink
4/10

My how ones opinion differs from ones youth.

I have always remembered this title. I, the JURY. I saw it on TV back in the 80s. I always remembered the car chase scene and thought it was excellent. The rest of the movie I didn't recall at all.

I watched it again just now and what a difference 40 years makes. I found the movie to be really tedious. I mean it just drags on and on.

I thought Laurene Landon was the most beautiful woman in the film.

From reading through all the other comments I've gotten an idea of the plot. This plot wasn't at all apparent to me while watching.

I've never seen Armand Assante in anything other than this film from my youth.

I was re-watching NCIS and in Season 4 we see La Grand We or someone with a name like that, and guess who it is, Armand Assante. It made me remember this film so I tracked it down and watched.

The best bit is the closing credits because it's finally over.

The movie has a made for TV feel with added unnecessary nudity.

I didn't enjoy it but I give it a generous 4 because it has meant something to me since I first saw it.

How ones opinion differs with age.

It's not a bad movie, I just found it dragged the whole time and isn't very watchable. A movie should flow and be like you want to see what comes next. This movie isn't like that at all.
  • fluffchop
  • Sep 21, 2024
  • Permalink
10/10

Hot off the griddle!

The scene where Armand Assante shoves the bad guy's face onto the hot griddle ranks right up with the dentist "Is it safe?" scene in Marathon Man. It is unique, and it makes you cringe any time you think of this movie.

The mark of a true "tough" guy is that he will stop at nothing to achieve his goal. Armand Assante's Mike Hammer is one of the best portrayals in that regard.
  • cosmicly
  • Sep 13, 2003
  • Permalink
2/10

I, The Depressed

Well, I would have been depressed had I been stupid enough to buy a movie ticket to see this garbage. Instead, I was probably at home watching Magnum, P.I., Thursday nights at 9 on SCTV, for free. At least Magnum had production values, professional editing, believable characters, and self-deprecating wit. I, The Jury, on the other hand, has none of this. It's just a cartoon full of self-important doofuses, including a midget with a mullet running around NYC pretending to be a hard-@zz private detective. And he drives a decade-old p00p-brown Camaro Z28, not a red Ferrari. I'm not even sure it's good enough to be a TV Movie of the Week.
  • ArtVandelayImporterExporter
  • May 5, 2019
  • Permalink
4/10

Just a sleazy, predictable action flick.

The character of Mike Hammer from Mickey Spillane's novels, is nothing like the way he's portrayed in this film. He doesn't spend his time pursuing the bad guys with a gun, he employed a bit more discretion. The whole film is sleazy throughout and it didn't impress me. The story is drawn out and the running time should have been reduced by at least 15 minutes. Geoffrey Lewis and Paul Sorvino (R. I. P) were talented, solid character actors, they should have had more to do in the story. There are a few half decent action scenes but little else to make the film remotely memorable. No wonder "I, the Jury" quickly vanished without a trace!
  • alexanderdavies-99382
  • Jul 27, 2022
  • Permalink
10/10

Armand Assante & Laurene Landon Fit Together like Scotch & Water .... PERFECTLY !

I've Seen Most , if Not All , of the Mike Hammer Adaptations & this is by Far the Best ! A few new wrinkles & up-dated so well that it's still relevant Today ! Armand Assante is Top-Shelf as Mike Hammer , even without his Drunken Escapades & Perfectly Beautiful Laurene Landon is by far the Embodiment of his Secretary & Right-Hand-Woman 'Velda' ! Her Acting , Her Showing of Emotions , Her Athletic Prowess , along with Her Physical Charms Carried the Day in this Action/Thriller/Classic ! Along with these Two there are a Multitude of Stars , Including Insanely Gorgeous Barbara Carrera as the Sexy & Sinister 'Dr. Charlotte Bennett' , Alan King as the Cunning 'Charles Kalecki' , Paul Sorvino as the Helpful but Devious 'Detective Pat Chambers' , Leigh & Lynette Harris as the Stunning & Sexy 'Twins' , & Judson Scott as the Particularly Repulsive 'Charles Kendricks' ! There's even some Iconic 70s/80s Porn Stars Involved . Samantha Fox , Candida Royalle , & Marlene Willoughby lend their Exceptional Charms to the Festivities ! I Absolutely Relish & Recommend " I The Jury" ! It Helps to Remind me where my Deep Love of Lovely Laurene Landon Originated !
  • timodo
  • Dec 2, 2019
  • Permalink
9/10

Finally the right Hammer zeitgeist but the wrong time period, but still entertaining

I like this slightly over the top interpretation of Mike Hammer, especially after viewing all the previous watered down versions.

I, The Jury (1982) Directed by Richard T. Heffron, starring Armand Assante, as Mike Hammer, Barbara Carreram as Dr. Charlotte Bennett, Laurene Landon as Velda, Alan King as Charles Kalecki, Geoffrey Lewis as Joe Buttler, and Paul Sorvino as Det. Pat Chambers.

I first saw this probably sometime in the late 80's once, had nothing to compare it to, and barely remembered it so it was a delight to get to view this the other day, especially since I've recently been revisiting Spillane and the films based on his novels.

It took 30 some odd years for a film to really do full justice to the zeitgeist of a Mickey Spillane novel. The best looking and true Noir adaptation is still "Kiss Me Deadly" (1955) with Ralph Meeker, Jack Elam, Strother Martin, Jack Lambert, Gabby Rogers, and Cloris Leachman, but it was hampered by being made while the Hays Code was still in effect. The original "I, The Jury" (1953) was DOA having non presence Biff Eliot in the title role, but at least the babes were "hammertomically" correct , "My Gun is Quick" (1957) starring Robert Bray as had the right caliber of women, but had the action not in NYC, but in some seaside resort and Hammer was running around with a pop gun not his trademark .45 Colt Automatic. "The Girl Hunters" (1963) had Spillane in the title role, but he was no actor, and aside from the establishing shots of NYC , the film was shot in England. At least it had the babes.

But WOW!, right from the opening credits of I, The Jury (1982) you know you are in Mike Hammer land with the emphasis on women and the Colt .45 automatic, Broads & Bullets, Girls and Guns (both kinds). I'm sure graphic novelist Frank Miller (Sin City) had to have seen this graphic opening sequence in three colors black, white, and red, and was influenced by it. If not, it predates that style by 10 years.

This version has Hammer's office located above Times Square, set in the post Vietnam 80's. Hammer is a sleazy detective working divorce cases. We first see him pulling a dead fish out of his tank and holding it while talking to another fish/client, who is worried about his wife cheating on him. Hammer asks to see her picture notices that she is beautiful, then tells the client that he's in trouble. Next shot has Hammer screwing the clients wife while fielding a call from him, the conversation is humorous along the lines of , "yea I'm right on top of her", and "yea, don't worry, I'm very familiar with all her moves".

Hammer's one armed war buddy Jack takes a slug in the guts and dies crawling across his living room, notified of his death Hammer (like a licensed rogue cop with full access to NYPD info) acts like bull in a china shop and the action (along with the catchy and wonderfully complementary score) never quits… that is unless a broad drifts into range, and a bevy of lovelies do so.

In this version Velda who in the novels was also a licensed detective holds her own doing double duty as a competent secretary/associate, and quasi love interest, she shows flashes of jealousy when Mike returns to the office disheveled and bruised from his escapades.

All the actors put in decent performances, I just wish Geoffrey Lewis had a bigger part, my only quibble.

What's not to like.

Barely Neo Noir if that. The one noir lit sequence that I do remember was when Hammer goes to pay respects to Jack's wife. Most of the film is too brightly lit.

No first person narrative.

And well, this version deviates a bit from the novel, i.e., using a surrogate serial killer in place of Kaleki's henchman to the detriment of the novel's excellent Bellamy Twins sequences, the substitution of the sex clinic for the whorehouse, and bringing an ex-CIA paranoid operative "house as fortress" character into the story.

Armand Assante as Hammer hews closer to Ralph Meeker looks than what you picture Mike Hammer should look like (for me that would have been the great Charles McGraw), but he has the machismo and misogynistic qualities right, lol .

The cinematography is adequate, very pedestrian, nothing stylistic.

Setting the story in the post Vietnam 1980's takes away the dirtier, grittier, sleazier, New York of the late Forties to early Sixties. There's no street level connection to the Burlesque Joints, XXX Movie Theaters, The "Live Nude Girl" Peep Shows, the Arcades, the newspaper stands, the street vendors, the con games, the Dime A Dance Ballrooms, the bums, the panhandlers, the hookers, etc., etc., New York was starting to loosing that real ambiance, too bad. I remember The 42nd St. Times Square area ridden with the above in 1970, and by the time I returned in 1996 it had changed to Disneyland. Minor quibbles.

Still excellent film 8.5/10,some funny bits, almost the perfect Hammer with an excellent score.

The only way to improve would be a Sin City type treatment keeping the machismo and misogynistic qualities this film has with the dirtier, grittier, sleazier, New York of the late Forties to early Sixties.
  • mgtbltp
  • Apr 13, 2011
  • Permalink

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