Liquidez l'inspecteur Mitchell

I had watched "Mitchell" many many times on MST3K and had basically memorized the entire show out of love. One day my brother and I were talking about a local diner/bowling alley in Woodland Hills, California -- "Woodlake Bowl" -- and we were remarking how much our dad liked it and how it wasn't what it once was. My brother said, "You know who I see whenever I go there? Joe Don Baker." I was thrilled to hear this but next time I went to the Woodlake Bowl for lunch with my Dad, I wasn't thinking I'd see Joe Don. It was a rainy day and as I exited my car and waited for my Dad to get out of the passenger side, an aged Datsun 240Z with cracked and fading paint pulled up in the spot next to mine. I started walking in a minute or so later and then I heard from behind me - in an unmistakable boomy Texas drawl: "YOUR HEADLIGHTS IS ON." I turned around to stare Joe Don face-to-face! I was starstruck, like I had met Brad Pitt or Marilyn Monroe or something. It was raining and Joe Don was in a long coat and droopy hat. And yes, he said "is on", not "are on"! I thanked him and he went on his way. I couldn't help but think of his face and of MST3K's description of him: "A melting bear". It was spot-on. As I walked past his rust-bucket 240Z, I couldn't help but have a peek inside. I remember the interior was just as bad as the exterior and he had a lot of softball equipment under the hatchback. I sort of imagined Joe Don as a little-league softball coach at that point and for all I know he is! But overall I was left with the feeling he was a lonely bachelor type who ate meals alone at a divey diner every day and drove a junkbox of a car -- hey, sounds like Mitchell! But seriously, I felt he is too much maligned as he seemed like a melancholy but nice guy. You go, Joe Don!

Awful. Gloriously, fabulously awful. My-my-my-my goodness this was a piece of work... If the hideousness of this movie had been intentional, I doubt it would be so amazingly funny. I laughed so hard I almost passed out. What I wouldn't give for "Mitchell 2: the Geritol Years."

Mitchell the cop is a slobby, beer guzzling, mass eating, uncharismatic cop who taunts children by stooping to their level, sleeps with his prostitute girlfriend (Linda Evans? Why?) and busts her when done (Community service, I guess?), and somehow, in God's mercy I suppose, nabs the bad guy at the end of the film. What a hero. What a guy.

Take all that, add a lame, one-dimensional bad guy and equally as weak supporting characters, a bland "been there too many times, even for the '70's" plot, and an unforgettable theme song "My, my, my, my Mitchell", and you have this movie. Joe Don Baker's cinematic opus.

Yet this film makes me laugh every time. Simply put: This movie is a hoot.

Then again, I could never watch this film without the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" treatment. Even I don't have that much self-loathing. I could see why Joel would jump ship after this one. It's a completely ridiculous film, but it remains in my video library. Maybe it's the Johnny Mathis look-alike villain, maybe because it's the bane of all that is considered good taste. One of the few films that I can somehow manage to simultaneously almost kind of recommend, yet warn people to stay away from like the plague. That's the kind of movie "Mitchell" is. Check it out for yourself. Or not.

All i can say about this movie is "wow". Not that i'm blown away by it, but that i can't believe that joe don baker and linda evens were that hard up for cash to make this bowser.

The script is pretty flimsy, sometimes with 2 or 3 subplots going their own directions and then somehow overlapping, yet it doesn't quite work. There are so many "bad guys" yet for some reason you can never quite figure out who is crossing whom, and what each person's relation to each other is. Towards the end, it starts to become more apparent, but it's still not that exciting.

Then, Joe Don Baker as Mitchell really does a poor job...I don't think it's his fault..just that the character was not that likeable. I mean, a boozing slob of a cop is not exactly what you think of when you think of great detectives...

I agree that this movie is amusing if you watch the MST3K version of it...in fact it's one of my favorites, just because they jab Joe Don and this movie EVERY chance they can get, and I'd say that it's more than deserving of every single one.

Overall - one and a half out of ten stars.

"Mitchell"...oh boy, that was weird to watch. In a bizarre way it fulfilled all my expectations as being a bad film. I was searching for something like that after a successful stream of good projects coming my way, not to mention I was curious in seeing the great character actor Joe Don Baker as a leading man. But the reality of "Mitchell" was far beyond any possible expectation; the outcome seen was a manageable disaster that didn't claim lives but managed to destroy a few brain cells on the way. It's so bad that it's good (for brief moments) and it gets a few laughs from the audience even though this isn't a comedy...but it's extremely hard to take it seriously. For the most part, it's just a troubled and boring wreck, and thanks to MST3K which made this a cult hilarious flick that we can enjoy some of its lousiness.

Baker plays the title role, a reckless and sleazy detective obsessed with two on-going investigations: one which revolves heroin dealers and other about a rich guy (John Saxon) who killed a burglar in his house. Obvious even to the clueless viewers that apparently those two actions are connected in some way. Mitchell tries to act like Dirty Harry (there's even a similar sequence when he shoots a running suspect on his knee) but doesn't have the same bite. He's too weak for it. He's drunk, clumsy and falls for the slightest possible weakness and that is when a prostitute is thrown on his lap, paid by the people he's investigating - which delivers the funniest scene of the film, a sex scene with an idiotic and funny theme song about his character. As I write this, that song still echoes in my head (My, my, my Mitchell...).

Trying to establish why "Mitchell" fails in so many levels is a difficult task and one that wouldn't fit in the limited lines we're allowed in here. It's just too much. While the few action sequences are actually interesting to watch (problem is that they always revolves around car chases, except the opening with the burglar), the rest of the film, the investigations, lame sex scenes that doesn't add anything to the film and the cringing dialogue with the kid on the street...they just don't work. And don't get me started with the dialogues between Mitchell and Martin Balsam character (whom is there to help the detective with his heroin case), which dragged on and on. I wasn't amused nor thrilled, just waiting for the "climatic" ending because the ridicule was going for far too long. No wonder that the writer only developed TV scripts after this wreck, making of this film his only theatrical screenplay.

What amazes the most in "Mitchell" is that the acting isn't all that bad as the writing. Sure, the cast was forced to deliver some of the weirdest lines of all in their whole careers, execute actions and thoughts in one of the worst projects of all time, but I think their acting isn't so atrocious as expected. Baker was in fact a good lead, in some ways I liked the character and for a brief moment when this thing wasn't so cheesy, it could actually render him a nice film series. He has charisma, some humor, plays a hard character that has some vulnerabilities but at the end of the day manages to do his job despite some unorthodox methods and his sloppy ways of acting - I've never seen a "hero" running away from trouble so many times like he does. Balsam, Saxon and others weren't so bad either. The problem stays with the script, which offers us poor dialogues, strange and unworthy of attention sequences, a waste of our time. But whatever, the damage wasn't so terrible because I've seen a lot worse and MST3K's observation of this "film" was so great that for a moment we can all say that celluloid wasn't so wasted after all. Their watching and comments on it are some of the most amusing, hilarious and relevant moments in the entertainment. It speaks volumes on this film and a lot more humored and better than most film criticisms I've ever seen ("Mittens?!?" Joe Don Baker is "Mittens"; Ooh, it's "Mitchell", the Martha Mitchell story. Joe Don Baker IS "Martha Mitchell"), not to mention the loads of references they throw on it from Johnny Mathis, "Fame" to Pink Floyd. Their version (slightly censored though) deserves a higher praise; the original "Mitchell" alone gets some note with me. It wasn't that bad though it made me feel ill for some time. And yes, this movie makes "Driving Miss Daisy" looks like "Bullitt". 3/10