L'Invasion des araignées géantes

Giant Spider Invasion is a low budget monster movie reminiscent of the giant bug invasion pictures of the 50's but it was actually shot in the 70's. It's all very predictable, these giant spider eggs travel to earth on board some meteorites and land in a small Wisconsin town. People start disappearing, cattle are found mutilated and things just aren't quite right. Needless to say, it's up to the local Sheriff, astronomer and out of town NASA specialist to find out and ultimately confront the source of the strange things going on. Of course it's all being caused by these giant spiders that are running amok, devouring everyone in sight. The effects are pretty bad and the acting is very hammy but it's all part of the fun. Amazingly, they actually built full sized giant spiders for this film and although they look terrible, it's wonderful to see these massive creatures roaming the Wisconsin country side wreaking havoc where ever they go. Giant Spider Invasion is good mindless fun that's better than 90% of the horror/sci-fi films being made these days.

A black hole hits northern Wisconsin and opens a door to other dimensions. Giant 15-meter spiders emerge from it, who have an appetite for human flesh! Dr. Jenny Langer and Dr. Vance from "the NASA" try to save the world.

First, I must confess it was a huge oversight on my part not to have seen this film sooner. As a fan of "bad movies" and a Wisconsin resident, I should have watched this many years ago. But, I just never did. Sorry, Bill Rebane, you cantankerous old coot.

That being said, this is not a bad film. I mean, you know, it is far from a good film. But the acting is actually quite good, and it is immensely entertaining, which counts for a lot. Is the lighting atrocious? Yes. Are the giant spiders a bit cheesy? Certainly. And there are sound issues. But at its heart, this is a fun creature feature and one I could enjoy on repeat viewings, which is more than I can say for most turkeys.

A very low-budget horror movie (it was shot in six weeks with a budget of $300,000), about a horde of radioactive mutant spiders with a craving for human flesh emerging from the depths of the earth to invade a rural Wisconsin town after a black hole opens up another dimension. Featuring awful special effects, just the one giant spider (which was constructed by covering a Volkswagen automobile with artificial black fur, with the fake legs operated from the inside by seven members of the crew), and a cast made up of a lot of "has-beens," and B movie veterans, it's tacky as hell but a lot of laughs as the spiders go on the rampage at the towns summer fair. The film received a considerable theatrical run and became one of the 50 top-grossing films of that year, even featuring in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Listed as one of 'The 100 Most Enjoyably Bad Movies Ever Made' by Golden Raspberry Award founder John Wilson in the book The Official Razzie Movie Guide.

I try to watch this movie every year or so. It reminds me of my youth when I didn't have any preconceived notions about what a film should or shouldn't be. A time when I had total suspension of disbelief.

I remember when my ten-year-old eyes first caught a glance at the greatest horror movie poster that ever hung in the hallowed foyer of our local movie theatre, The D&R in Aberdeen, Washington. The poster featured a gargantuan spider bearing down on a group of terrified people. Suspended in the air above the monster were three helicopters and lying crumpled at the spider's legs were a couple of burning cars while spotlights filled the sky. One of the terrified was a busty young blonde wearing only a negligee. I was sold.

Every kid in town must have seen the `coming soon' poster because the next day in school all halls were abuzz with nervous anticipation of what was going to be the greatest cinematic experience of our young lives: THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION! Our local newspaper (The Daily World) had a beautiful half-page advertisement featuring the glorious poster art. I cut it out and hung it on the refrigerator so my mom wouldn't forget.

After a torturous week of school, the opening day finally arrived. Packs of kids, with parents in tow, rushed to secure a place in line at the D&R. The line wrapped around the block. Aberdeen hadn't seen this much excitement since Jaws played there the previous year.

Once inside the lobby, ushers showered the crowd with little black plastic spiders. Kids scrambled everywhere – clawing and climbing over each other to get their hands on these rare collector's items. I snagged a few off the ground and then rushed into the theatre to secure a seat for my Mom, my brother and me.

The theatre was filled to capacity. Those who did not make it in for the first show were forced to wait until the 9:00 p.m. show. Back in the seventies there were only two show times during the weekdays: 7:00p.m. and 9:00p.m. It was truly Darwin's `survival of the fittest' in action.

At precisely 7:00p.m., the theatre grew dark and the screen was illuminated with the coming attraction: Squirm! The theatre was filled with whoops and screams as slime-coated killer worms with fangs tore into flesh, but soon a collective kid-groan could be heard as the rating `R' flashed after the preview. Thankfully, our attention was focused off the fact that most of our parents would not permit us to see the `R' rated film when the title: The Giant Spider Invasion filled the screen.

For the next 85 minutes, we were treated to a town exposed to a `miniature' black hole' that creates a `space warp' inviting in alien-spiders that grow to mammoth proportions. The film really delivered the goods! A grungy farmer discovers a half-eaten body whose rib-cage is partially exposed, a girl comes out of the shower baring her breasts and, in a glorious shower of blood, the spiders suck up a couple of people into their puckered-festering mouths! Cries of horror and disbelief could be heard throughout the auditorium. A couple of ushers had to remove a bawling friend of mine after he saw the partially eaten remains of one of the victims – too much for his delicate sensibilities. I sat transfixed. This was the greatest movie ever made. The next day, I dragged a few of my friends to watch the matinee – we stayed for the remaining showings and returned the following day. The movie played in Aberdeen for only a week, but I must have seen it a dozen times.

Years later, I found The Giant Spider Invasion at a video store and immediately purchased it. I watched it with the same glee I did back in 1975 and the fond memories I held came flooding back.

Watching it now I chuckle as Alan `The Skipper' Hale delivers lines like, `He's a strange man and he's building up a big head of steam.' But, seeing the spiders, which seemed so real back in the good old D&R, crawl over the beautiful Wisconsin countryside, still gives me a small thrill. Even though it's obvious the spiders are badly made up VW Beetles, it still takes me back to a time when all movies I watched were magical.

There were giants in those days.

Judging from what has been said from other commentators I was expecting one of the worst movies ever made. Make no mistake The Giant Spider Invasion is a bad movie- very bad in fact, the 2.7 rating is about right for it- but not atrocious and a long way from one of the worst movies ever made. Barbara Hale and Steve Brodie are decent, there is some unintentional entertainment value and a couple of the attacks are appropriately gruesome. To say that The Giant Spider Invasion is poorly made though is an understatement, often what is seen is close to incoherent. The spider is not a convincing threat at all, more goofy than menacing and the cheap puppet-like design is no help. The music sounds stock and inappropriate, when you can hear the dialogue you are kind of glad actually that the sound is poor and the story is thinly plotted, completely lacking in atmosphere and predictable. Apart from Barbara Hale and Steve Brodie, the acting is so terrible- especially from Alan Hale- that it's not worth any comments. All in all, not as atrocious as heard and expected but very bad. 3/10 Bethany Cox