Mademoiselle cuisses longues

Although usually I wouldn't touch such lowbrow comedies with a ten-foot pole in spite of their vintage, ever since I attended the 61st Venice Film Festival in 2004 and met with several second-league (but, as it turned out, still highly enthusiastic) Italian directors, I've been trying to catch up with any of their films which crop up (invariably late at night) on Italian TV practically every week!

This fondly-remembered (but, in retrospect, only very mildly amusing) sex comedy is chiefly notable today for two reasons: it marked a turning point in the careers of both its female star (the half-Maltese Edwige Fenech) and director Martino, both of whom were chiefly known until then for a series of grisly and erotic giallos; and also because its suggestive title – which translates roughly to "Joanie Longthighs, Honorably Dishonored" and which was changed at the last minute to emulate the unexpected success of Lina Wertmuller's current film, THE SEDUCTION OF MIMI (1973) whose original title was also similarly long-winded (as would come to be her fashion) – got it into hot waters with the censors at the time.

Fenech is, of course, lovely and throws herself enthusiastically into the role of a streetwalker with a heart of gold who is engaged by a shady businessman to pose as his wife in order to seduce a Government minister with a roving eye for other men's wives in return for some official favors; unfortunately, contrary to expectations, her nude scenes are few and far between and never quite as explicit as previous films I've watched her in like TOP SENSATION (1969) and THE STRANGE VICE OF MRS. WARDH (1971). Incidentally, unlike her sometime co-star Barbara Bouchet, even though she was present at the Venice Film Festival I attended in her capacity as co-producer of the Al Pacino/Jeremy Irons version of THE MERCHANT OF VENICE (2004), she did not appear at any of the screenings of her films or the press conferences which preceded them!

Anyway, in this film, which plays like a low-brow, broader version of a Feydeau pochade with a dash of "Pygmalion" thrown in for good measure, Fenech was reteamed with Italian comic (and future TV show host) Pippo Franco after another "celebrated" and controversial sex comedy, QUEL GRAN PEZZO DELLA UBALDA TUTTA NUDA E TUTTA CALDA (1972), which I've also caught up with quite recently and enjoyed slightly more. Ultimately, Vittorio Caprioli (a prolific character actor I "discovered" at the Venice Film Festival) as the womanizing MP and Riccardo Garrone (as Fenech's pimp who's got ideas above his station) come off best. Having said that, the film does manage to amuse in spots and the reckless driver (which turns out to be an escaped blind lunatic) and the final 'pimp duel' sequences are the film's highlights. My local DVD rental store has gotten hold of a couple more of these Italian comedies on DVD and, against my better judgment perhaps, I'll give them a try too one of these days

As it turns out, Edwige Fenech didn't just appear in top-notch giallo thrillers directed and produced by, respectively, brothers Sergio and Luciano Martino. Following her appearances in such excellent gialli as "The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh" (1970), "All the Colors of the Dark" (1972) and "Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key" (1972), Edwige appeared in the team's 1972 Italian sex comedy "Giovanonna Long Thigh," with winning results. In this one, Edwige plays a stunningly beautiful (natch) streetwalker who's hired by a doofus functionary of a polluting cheese factory to seduce a certain government official. The doofus in question is played by Pippo Franco, who had just appeared with Edwige in the even funnier and sexier "Ubalda, All Naked and Warm" (also 1972...a busy year for Edwige!). Fenech, despite playing a hooker here, surprisingly remains mostly clothed for the duration of the film, some brief topless flashes excepted. Viewers interested in seeing her more in the altogether are advised to check out any of the other titles mentioned above. What this film DOES offer is an extremely fast-moving story, some outrageous situations, some truly laff-out-loud moments, and a sped-up conclusion that almost seems like an Italian variation of "Benny Hill." No Shame has provided us with yet another gorgeous-looking DVD, with one unfortunate problem: The subtitles get frozen for around 10 minutes around 2/3 of the way in. And in a rapid-dialogue film such as this one, that's a big loss! Still, the film is well worth your time, if only for another opportunity to bask in Edwige's exquisite presence...

The owner of a cheese factory is trying to get an Italian government official to look the other way at the industrial pollution his factory is creating. He finds out the "honorable" official has a thing for other men's sexy wives. Unfortunately, his own wife is a devout Catholic and pretty unattractive to boot, so he entrusts his dimwitted assistant to procure him a fake wife. After the first potential "wife" turns out to be a transvestite, the desperate assistant picks up a very sexy streetwalker (Edwige Fenech), who unfortunately also turns out to be hilariously profane and uncouth. The movie than turns into a kind "The Pygmalion"/"My Fair Lady" on the fly as they try to pass her off as a more respectable lady, and the zaniness increases when the industrialist starts to fall for the official's own very large wife, while the official's puritanical battle-axe of a secretary tries to sabotage the whole thing, and the bumbling assistant continues to mess things up further.

This sex comedy has the usual nude scenes from Edwige Fenech, but it's a lot more enjoyable than the vast majority of Italian sex comedies because it's a lot more satirical and clever, not to mention genuinely funny in places. Obviously, Edwige Fenech is gorgeous, but there was certainly no shortage of gorgeous women in 1970's Italian sex comedies. Fenech, however, shows some genuine comic talent that puts her above the likes of Gloria Guida or Nadia Cassini, who were equally ubiquitous in these kind of films, but were more just eye candy. And it helps that this film was directed by the talented Sergio Martino, a regular collaborator with Fenech (his producer brother, Luciano Martino, was a one-time paramour of Fenech, but it was their professional collaboration that proved the most fruitful).

I actually rented this thinking it was a "decamerotici" or other period sex comedy like "Ubalda--All Naked Warm" which Fenech was known for. It is actually more a political satire, like Fulci's "The Eroticist" (albeit with more "Benny Hill"-style high-speed antics and other "physical humor"). Like that one it may be "too Italian" for some people, but also its pretty clever for an Italian sex comedy, hell, for ANY sex comedy.

Giovannona Long-Thigh (1973)

** (out of 4)

A new government minister closes down factory that is leading to all sorts of pollution so a plot is unhatch to try and get him to open it back up. A couple dimwits hire a prostitute (Edwige Fenech) to seduce the man in order to make him change his mind. As with most of these sex-comedies from Italy, this film is full of misses but there are a few hits that actually get a nice laugh. The biggest problem is the problem of all of these types of films have and that's the fact that everyone in them, with the exception always being the lead woman, are complete idiots who are constantly doing dumb things. Some might say this is where the comedy comes from, which would be fair to say but there comes a point where you at least need something serious or at least not so over the top where you feel as if you're watching something being aimed at a child. This movie features all sorts of dumb characters doing dumb things but a few of them are funny. There's a very long sequence on a train where the government guys try to get their plan working but Fenech keeps messing up because she wants someone else. Earlier in the film we get a pretty funny scene of Fenech needing to pretend to be a proper lady but her foul mouth keeps that from happening. These scenes, as well as a pimp duel towards the end, work but this is about it in terms of laughs. The nudity/sex side of things is also pretty low with Fenech only getting naked a couple times but we all know this is better than nothing. As usual, she delivers a charming performance as she could certainly act unlike many of the other sex actresses of her day. In the end this certainly isn't the best the genre has to offer but both director Martino and star Fenech would continue to do these types of films and they quality would eventually go up.

Comic movie that has some funny moments but also some very low ones. The plot, while not exceptional, develops smoothly and Fenech is perfect in the part of the woman of the street.