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Merci d'avoir été ma femme...

Original title: Starting Over
  • 1979
  • Tous publics
  • 1h 45m
IMDb RATING
6.4/10
3.4K
YOUR RATING
Merci d'avoir été ma femme... (1979)
Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?
Play clip1:13
Watch Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?
1 Video
38 Photos
ComedyRomance

A divorced man falls in love, but somehow he can't get over his ex-wife. This affects his love life in comic ways. Based on Dan Wakefield's novel.A divorced man falls in love, but somehow he can't get over his ex-wife. This affects his love life in comic ways. Based on Dan Wakefield's novel.A divorced man falls in love, but somehow he can't get over his ex-wife. This affects his love life in comic ways. Based on Dan Wakefield's novel.

  • Director
    • Alan J. Pakula
  • Writers
    • Dan Wakefield
    • James L. Brooks
  • Stars
    • Burt Reynolds
    • Jill Clayburgh
    • Candice Bergen
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • IMDb RATING
    6.4/10
    3.4K
    YOUR RATING
    • Director
      • Alan J. Pakula
    • Writers
      • Dan Wakefield
      • James L. Brooks
    • Stars
      • Burt Reynolds
      • Jill Clayburgh
      • Candice Bergen
    • 45User reviews
    • 27Critic reviews
    • 64Metascore
  • See production info at IMDbPro
    • Nominated for 2 Oscars
      • 7 nominations total

    Videos1

    Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?
    Clip 1:13
    Starting Over: Why Didn't You Throw These Away?

    Photos38

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    Top cast53

    Edit
    Burt Reynolds
    Burt Reynolds
    • Phil Potter
    Jill Clayburgh
    Jill Clayburgh
    • Marilyn Holmberg
    Candice Bergen
    Candice Bergen
    • Jessica Potter
    Charles Durning
    Charles Durning
    • Michael (Mickey) Potter
    Frances Sternhagen
    Frances Sternhagen
    • Marva Potter
    Austin Pendleton
    Austin Pendleton
    • Paul
    Mary Kay Place
    Mary Kay Place
    • Marie
    MacIntyre Dixon
    MacIntyre Dixon
    • Dan Ryan
    Jay O. Sanders
    Jay O. Sanders
    • Larry
    • (as Jay Sanders)
    Charles Kimbrough
    Charles Kimbrough
    • Salesman
    Richard Whiting
    • Everett
    Alfie Wise
    Alfie Wise
    • Workshop Member
    Wallace Shawn
    Wallace Shawn
    • Workshop Member
    Sturgis Warner
    Sturgis Warner
    • John Morganson
    Mary Catherine Wright
    • Student 1
    • (as Mary C. Wright)
    Daniel Stern
    Daniel Stern
    • Student 2
    George Hirsch
    • Student 3
    Ian Martin
    Ian Martin
    • Doorman
    • Director
      • Alan J. Pakula
    • Writers
      • Dan Wakefield
      • James L. Brooks
    • All cast & crew
    • Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

    User reviews45

    6.43.4K
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    Featured reviews

    9ijonesiii

    A Sophisticated Adult Comedy that Nobody Saw...

    After several years as a comic book action hero, Burt Reynolds took a calculated career risk at becoming a romantic leading man in the 1979 comedy STARTING OVER and the risk paid off in spades. Reynolds turned in his best performance up to this point as Phil Potter, a writer whose wife (Candice Bergen) has just divorced him who enters, perhaps a bit too quickly, another relationship with a neurotic schoolteacher (Jill Clayburgh. This smartly directed comedy, lovingly directed by ALan J. Pakula hits all the right notes and introduces characters you care about. Bergen also opened up a whole new career for herself, showing a flair for light comedy, which resulted in her first Oscar nomination. Her musical seduction of Burt with "Better than Ever" is one of the funniest scenes in film comedies ever. Bergen's performance here was largely responsible for her being offered the role of Murphy Brown. Clayburgh (also nominated for an Oscar) is just as good, creating a quirky and heartbreaking character who evokes laughs and sympathy. It has been well documented over the years that Reynolds was deeply hurt when both of his leading ladies here received Oscar nominations and he did not. Then to add insult to injury, the Best Actress Oscar that year went to his girlfriend at the time, Sally Field. Burt should have been nominated for this film...it was beautifully controlled performance that was nothing like he had ever done before. Charles Durning and Frances Sternhage offer strong support as Phils' brother and sister-in-law and don't overlook those wonderful scenes with Burt's Divorced Men's support group. A winning romantic comedy that finally proved Burt Reynolds really knew how to act.
    8shark-43

    Well Made Comedy

    This well made adaptation of Dan Wakefield's novel has wonderful comic moments and full-bodied performances. Burt Reynolds underplays his role and does some of the finest work of his roller-coaster career (it's up there with "Boogie Nights" and "Deliverance"). Candice Bergen is hysterical in the role of the wife who wants freedom and a singing career. (Little did we know in 1979 that Bergen would go onto great comedic success as Murphy Brown)James L. Brooks does a terrific job with the screenplay - the divorced men's group scenes really ring true and the moment when they have to leave their community center space so the women's divorce group can then use the room is uncomfortable and very funny. In my opinion, Clayburgh gives an up and down performance, sometimes really connecting with Reynolds and other times she just seems to be impersonating Diane Keaton. Fine supporting work by the always reliable Charles Durning and Austin Pendleton. This film is very hard to find in video stores for some reason. I just happned to catch it again on cable and was pleasantly surprised with how well it holds up.
    8chconnol

    Adult Romantic Comedy

    "Starting Over" works very well because it's a film made for and by adults. And it's got some very funny moments.

    Yes, it's got all the trappings of a typical "ROMCOM" but back in 1979, the ROMCOM formula had not developed into the hackneyed, tiresome concept that it became. By the late 90's, the style that "Starting Over" began seems to have expired (it arguably reached it's zenith circa 1994 with "Sleeping in Seattle". Whether one liked that movie or not, all the trappings of the stylized ROMCOM formula were firmly and grossly used in that one.) But I digress.

    "Starting Over" works so well because of Pakula's typical very low keyed direction which allows James L. Brooks' screenplay to shine. But this film would be nothing without the cast. Clayburgh is fine but of the three leads, she's the least appealing. Don't get me wrong. She's an engaging presence in the film and it's quite understandable why Reynolds is attracted to her (except for a shower scene in which, to me, she over reacts). The hands down winners in this film are Reynolds and especially Bergen. Bergen tapped into a completely unexpected flair for comedy as a royally flaky song writing ex-wife of Reynolds. She's a gas especially in an hysterical scene when she begins singing a disco ditty ("Better Than Ever") in a hotel room while trying to reconcile with Reynolds.

    Reynolds is a complete revelation. Gone is his trademark mustache and cockiness and it works to marvelous effect. He's mature, low key and completely likable. It would've been so easy for Reynolds to play down the part to the point where he appears to be sleepwalking (ala William Hurt in "The Accidental Tourist"). But here, though he's depressed, he's also alive. He's just a guy going through something that he wishes he didn't have to. He loves/likes his ex-wife and can't understand why he's the odd man out.

    From a plot and structural standpoint, "Starting Over" isn't much. It's setup and resolution are standard and completely unremarkable. Aside from the wonderful cast and good writing, the film is photographed beautifully by Sven Nyquist. This Swede (who was Ingmar Bergman's chief Director of Photography) knows how to film chilly northern environments and he gives Boston in winter an appealing glow.
    6moonspinner55

    A smart, sophisticated movie that unfortunately palls with 30 minutes to go

    Although puzzlingly slow-moving, "Starting Over" is a gentle, funny film about a newly-divorced man attempting to date again. I loved it when Burt Reynolds (in a benign but amiable performance) hits the furniture store to fill up his apartment, but then sits in his studio surrounded by all the new pieces and now has nothing to do. Or when girlfriend Jill Clayburgh shouts at him, "I am no one-nighter! I am a teacher! I am going for my Masters!" The movie doesn't know what to do with its characters near the end--taking us down a few roads which disappointed me--but otherwise it's a smart, subtle comedy and the appealing players make the most of it. **1/2 out of ****
    bettyz6

    just as good as I remembered it

    This is a totally charming and mature romantic comedy unlike anything Hollywood puts out today. It has aged amazingly well and delivers big laughs, soft chuckles, and a few deep sighs. This time, I especially enjoyed when Burt Reynolds, as Phil Potter, shows up at Jill Clayburgh's (Marilyn) and she is having a candlelit dinner for one. The scenes of the divorced men's group are wonderful, as many have already noted. And Candice Bergen was truly funny. If you see this one listed in your TV Guide, make a date with it.

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    Storyline

    Edit

    Did you know

    Edit
    • Trivia
      Originally director Alan J. Pakula did not want Burt Reynolds for the Phil Potter part, feeling he was not the right type: he wanted a New York-trained actor along the lines of Al Pacino or Dustin Hoffman. But Reynolds lobbied hard for the role, and Pakula finally let him audition. After two auditions, Reynolds had the role, and Pakula subsequently has praised his work in the film.
    • Goofs
      During an outdoor grade school carnival, bathing suit-clad Marilyn participates in a dunk tank concession in the dead of a Boston winter. In reality, she would freeze.
    • Quotes

      Michael Potter: [to crowd observing Phil's anxiety attack] Anybody have a Valium?

      [everyone in crowd reaches into purses and pockets]

    • Connections
      Featured in Sneak Previews: 10/When a Stranger Calls/Starting Over/Apocalypse Now (1979)
    • Soundtracks
      Better Than Ever
      Music by Marvin Hamlisch

      Lyrics by Carole Bayer Sager

      Sung by Candice Bergen

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    FAQ18

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    Details

    Edit
    • Release date
      • May 7, 1980 (France)
    • Country of origin
      • United States
    • Language
      • English
    • Also known as
      • Starting Over
    • Filming locations
      • Boston, Massachusetts, USA
    • Production companies
      • Paramount Pictures
      • Century Associates
    • See more company credits at IMDbPro

    Box office

    Edit
    • Gross US & Canada
      • $35,649,012
    • Gross worldwide
      • $35,649,012
    See detailed box office info on IMDbPro

    Tech specs

    Edit
    • Runtime
      1 hour 45 minutes
    • Color
      • Color
    • Sound mix
      • Mono
    • Aspect ratio
      • 1.85 : 1

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