Just You and Me, Kid

Foster kid Kate (Brooke Shields) is on the run from an abusive drug dealer. Through circumstances too ridiculous to get into she ends up hiding out with old vaudevillian Bill (George Burns). She doesn't trust him at first but they end up (sigh) becoming good friends. It all ends in a totally predictable happy ending that will have you rolling your eyes.

I caught this in a theater back in 1979. I was only 16 and (back then) liked almost anything. I saw it solely because of Burns (Shields was still fairly unknown--this was pre "Blue Lagoon"). I though it might be light and innocuous. It WAS both of those things but it was also boring, pointless and full of some of the worst jokes and most contrived situations I've ever seen. Aside from a glimpse of Brooke's (or her doubles) nude butt and a few minor profanities this is made for TV material--and I don't mean that in a good way! Burns tries his best to put over his terrible lines but he can't. Shields is young and appealing--but this was before she learned how to act. This did nothing for either of their careers and sank without a trace. As other posters have said this was never on VHS or DVD. There's a reason for that! Bottom of the barrel. A 1.

After his best friend Jack Benny passed away in 1974, George Burns took over his role in Herbert Ross's brilliant adaptation of 'The Sunshine Boys,' winning himself an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in the process. Burns enjoyed something of a career resurgence, going on to make five films in the next five years. 'Oh, God!' might be the best of the lot, or Martin Brest's 'Going in Style.' It certainly isn't 'Just You and Me, Kid,' a movie so misjudged, saccharine-sweet and predictable that watching it sometimes feels like a form of cruel and unusual punishment.

Burns stars as a vaudevillian comedian whose quiet life is upended when he finds Brooke Shields in the trunk of his car, who is fourteen, naked and on the run. The kindly Burns agrees to shelter the girl, as the cartoonishly cruel drug-dealers she's escaped from are closing in. The two form a friendship as time marches steadily on, with outside forces constantly threatening to separate them and send Shields back to the criminals. Together, however, they may just take down the drug-dealers once and for all; if Burns and his magic tricks have any say in the matter.

'Just You and Me, Kid' is a poorly written, unimaginative and tonally muddled film that tries in vain to balance drama and light comedy. Leonard Stern's direction is uninspired- in fact, he doesn't seem to have directed the actors at all. Burns really just plays himself, which he's very good at, so it isn't a problem. Shields, though, was very young and could have probably used someone to guide her performance. As it is, she's ridiculously wooden and something of a talent vacuum- it's a pity that she didn't have a more hands-on director to help her, or a good script to work with.

She and Burns have nothing interesting to do together except recite overly cutesy, maddeningly bland lines from the lackluster, predictable screenplay. The comedy is so weak and formulaic that the laughs just don't come. Strangely, the story is full of unnecessary darkness as well- like the inclusion of the drug-dealers- that is at odds with the tone of the rest of the film. There are also many cheap jokes about Burns relationship to Shields, which are really unpalatable, and the dialogue overall is stilted and trite. The supporting characters are all caricatures of little to no depth and the cinematography is flat and ugly.

The most egregious aspect of the film is the fact that Burns is brilliant, and his scenes without Shields have a sad, gentle power. He is effectively playing himself- a widowed comedian in his eighties- and does so effectively. To see him alone going about his business- whether he's remembering his departed wife, visiting a comatose pal, singing a tune or entertaining youngsters with his magic tricks- may not be an original experience, but it is an entertaining one (as well as a glimpse of a better movie that could have been made instead of 'Just You and Me, Kid'). Burns was such a genuinely charming presence that when it's just him, the film almost works.

Why the writers felt the need to destroy what could have been a simple comedy-drama about an aging comedian by concocting this Brooke Shields on-the-run story is unfathomable. Though Burns is terrific, this film is lazy, unfunny and disappointing. While young Shields' wooden performance in the film may not be her fault, it's still a serious problem- though even if she had the talents of a young Jodie Foster the film would still be a dud. The lack of originality from the director- and in the screenplay- doomed this film to the realm of mediocrity long before the cameras started rolling. 'Oh, God!' this is not.

"Just You and Me, Kid" was never issued on VHS or (as of this date) DVD despite starring Brooke Shields and George Burns. Watching the movie, it's pretty clear why no one at Columbia Pictures thinks this movie has a potential audience. The main reason for this movie's failure is its sorry script. Although it aims to be a warm-hearted comedy, it succeeds at neither of those things. It's hard to get involved with Shields' character, who is written to be not very likable, and made worse by Shields' inadequate performance, which generates zero chemistry with Burns despite his valiant effort. There are no laughs to be found, partially due to the fact that the movie for a great deal of time tries to be serious, but also due that the few attempts at humor are lame and without energy. The rest of the movie is also directed in a lacklustre fashion; as other user comments here have noted, apart from some fleeting nudity and some mild language the movie feels like it was made for television. To sum up, this movie was a waste of time for its stars as well as its audience.

I've never understood why this movie has not made it to VHS or DVD. Would it be contractual problems, maybe? Carl Ballentine, Key Luke, Burl Ives..never mind the obvious; that all of George Burns needs to be available. Nothing deep, just light and entertaining. Brooke Shields was good, and so was everyone else. I'd like to have Bill's alarm clock too. The car and the pylons, the breaking pencils, the grocery store carry-out boy, and George Burns typical, poised response are the little things that add up to make us keep chuckling. Too many movies aim for "zany" or "wacky" or "hilarious" and fall flat. Sometimes chuckling is all we need. Bring on the DVD.

On the run from an abusive drug dealer, foster kid Brooke Shields hides out with ex-vaudeville entertainer George Burns. There are little side-plots here and there (the drug dealer tracking Brooke down, George's daughter trying to get her hands on his money, best friend Burl Ives stuck in an institution), but the bulk of the movie centers on the relationship between the sassy teen and the octogenarian. The script is structured pretty much like a play, with the banter going back and forth between the two principles, yet some wonderful bits surface, as when Burns attempts to distract his nosy neighbors from the teenage girl he has in the house, or a terrific sequence where George's poker buddies--Ray Bolger and Keye Luke among them--show up for their usual game and Brooke is displeased ("Too many people come to this house!" she scowls). George is sweet and tender here; say what you will about his shuffle-along acting style, I felt he was really in character and genuinely cared for Shields, who is stiff and self-conscious at first but warms up midway. Some of the dialogue is surprisingly crass (Burns playing tailor and Brooke calling him a 'fag'), but for cynical 1979 it is sunnier and friendlier than most. One of the few major studio movies of this era not to be released to the home-video market in the 1980s and '90s. **1/2 from ****