- Dr. Willoughby: [At burial service] Throughout history, all great innovators were never really appreciated until they were dead. You're dead now Harry... an' we appreciate it!
- Ann Atkinson: Look, I don't care if a man picks his teeth in public, if he has a ring around his collar, he can even vote the straight Republican ticket. But if he loves me and is faithful to me then I will go through hell for him!
- Dr. Solomon: Do you know what he calls you?
- Dr. Willoughby: Yeah. The Old Fart.
- Dr. Solomon: No sir... He calls you... Golden Hands Willoughby!
- Dr. Willoughby: Golden Hands. Silverman, you're a goddamned liar.
- Dr. Charley Nichols: [On a date] You have a very infectious laugh.
- Lani Mason: Don't worry that's the only thing about me that is!