Carry on Emmannuelle

One would expect this, the last in the long line of Carry On films, to be a load of old rubbish. And while it is perhaps not Carry On heaven it is still worth a look.

It is ironic being the last in the series, that after the utterly appalling Carry on England, Emmannuelle is actually a slightly better film. Kenneth Williams is in fine nostril-flaring form, Kenneth Connor is a delight as the sleazy chauffeur and stunning Suzanne Danielle a joy to behold in her body hugging outfits. Even the snazzy 70s theme song, "Love Crazy" is quite catchy!

However, we are now at the end of the line for this series of comedy favourites and it is sad to see a now bloated Joan Sims doing not very much, an ancient Peter Butterworth doing not very much and underused Jack Douglas not falling over and making silly noises.

Also long, long gone is the series' subtle use of innuendo and double entendre. As with Carry on England, we are now subjected to nude bottoms and breasts to raise a titter among the audience. And the nose cone gag on the Concorde has to be seen to be believed!

Better than its predecessor and worth an occasional viewing but by no means one of the best. A very, very different film to Sergeant which launched the series a staggering 20 years before.

CARRY ON EMMANNUELLE

Aspect ratio: 1.85:1

Sound format: Mono

"Carry On" regular Sid James had been dead for almost two years when this threadbare concoction hit UK cinemas in 1978, and principal scriptwriter Talbot Rothwell had retired from the business in 1975 following a bout of ill health, throwing the long-standing (and extremely lucrative) "Carry On" series into disarray. While CARRY ON EMMANNUELLE isn't the worst of them - that 'honor' belongs to CARRY ON ENGLAND (1976), an utterly turgid wartime entry - Lance Peters' script was initially rejected by star Kenneth Williams as unworkable, though the finished product could hardly be worse! A mild, half-baked spin on the "Emmanuelle" series (inspired by Just Jaeckin's 1974 softcore drama), the 29th "Carry On" epic features Williams as the French ambassador to London, whose sexpot wife (Suzanne Danielle, surprisingly assured in her screen debut) has it off with all and sundry whilst pining for her husband's absent libido (lost when he landed on a church spire during a parachute jump - which demonstrates the film's level of wit). Series stalwarts Joan Sims, Jack Douglas, Kenneth Connor and Peter Butterworth look suitably embarrassed as members of the ambassador's household staff, and Larry Dann plays a downtrodden nerd who falls in love with Danielle following an amorous encounter on Concorde; Beryl Reid is his mum, a vision in chintz.

Opening with a dreadful disco ditty ('Love Crazy', written by Kenny Lynch and sung by 'Masterplan') which must have seemed dated even in 1978, CARRY ON EMMANNUELLE swaps the double entendres and deconstructive satire of Rothwell's era for a barrage of blatantly obvious sex jokes, none of which are even remotely funny, while Williams is reduced to mugging frantically over Danielle's 'suggestive' dialogue and dropping his drawers every time there's a lull in the action. While exploitation fans in other countries had been enjoying frank cinematic depictions of sex and sexuality since the late 1960's, British voyeurs - ie. those whose tastes ran more to NAUGHTY KNICKERS (1970) and DEEP THROAT (1972) than the mature exploration of adult themes favored by Ken Russell (THE DEVILS), Stanley Kubrick (A CLOCKWORK ORANGE) and others at the cutting edge of mainstream outrage - were forced to endure heavily censored imports and tawdry homegrown comedies (I'M NOT FEELING MYSELF TONIGHT, CAN YOU KEEP IT UP FOR A WEEK?, LET'S GET LAID, etc.) which reinforced sexual stereotypes of every persuasion, and CARRY ON EMMANNUELLE is no better or worse than any of them. Having bombed at the box-office, this SHOULD have been the series' last gasp, but director Gerald Thomas and producer Peter Rogers revived the format in 1992 for the equally lackluster CARRY ON COLUMBUS, while "Carry On London" (shudder!) currently exists in pre-production limbo. All together now:

"That woman is lo-o-ve crazy / She's lovin' all night! / That woman is lo-o-ve crazy / Won't stop for a bite!..."

Told you it was dreadful, didn't I?...

Emmannuelle Prevert is the wife of the French Ambassador to the UK. After a separation of some time, she returns to the UK on Concorde to give it another chance. However her husband is only interested in body building and is unwilling to satisfy her very high sex drive. After much pleading, Emmannuelle goes out to see the sights of London and hopefully get some satisfaction along the way.

With the opening of the film on Concorde (spoofing Emmanuelle's own plane moment) we have the height of intelligence of this film (in the reference to that film) but a split second later we are in the territory of crude and obvious jokes starting as it continues with an erect Concorde and the predictable 'are you coming' joke. The material basically continues like this for the rest of the film, with only a very vague (and uninteresting) plot to provide a loose structure. Within this structure are hung endless sex jokes and titillating material (for the period) that started out being lame but ended up being pathetic and just plain stupid. They are totally lacking in the wit that the best of the Carry On films have, instead it is obvious and crude – there is no sparkle to the deliver, it is just plodding and lacking in anything of value.

The accents in the film are pretty awful but I think that's the point as the French people are played by English actors. Danielle is quite sexy and could almost pass as French but she can't act and her sexuality is wasted due to the tame standards required of the film (a group orgy with a football team involves her kissing each of them slightly and that's it – no nudity from her!). The rest of the cast is made up of famous Carry On stars and you can see it in their delivery that they know their glory days are gone and they are not too taken by the material, but it is to their credit that many of them still put on a brave face. Williams has no good lines to work with even if his character is amusing, Connor hams it up rather a lot but enjoys himself, Butterworth is wasted totally while Joan Sims only contribution seems to be having a crude name (Mrs Dangle). Douglas is so-so but Larry Dann is pretty rubbish which is a shame since he is supposed to be a big part of the 'plot'.

Overall, this is rubbish. I wanted to find some silly laughs in it but I found nothing of any value here. The 'jokes' are crude and obvious and there are no moments of clever writing in it at all: the Carry-On series may never have been the height of wit but this entry (oh-err missus) in the series makes some of the early films look like the pinnacle of modern humour. I love many of the Carry On movies and even I hated this one – silly, banal and a disgrace even by the less than high standards of the series.

As the 'last' carry on it is often cited as the worst of the series (Along with the awful Carry on England). There's plenty of really bad d*** jokes, theres a couple of (very) soft porn scenes and some peeping toms. On the plus side there is a rather nifty pop tune 'love crazy' sounding very 70's. Kenneth Williams puts in a good performance even though it is an embarrassing movie (Credibility wise) however the rest of the remaining (whats left of the) carry on crew don't do much. I actually enjoyed this as a 'so bad its fairly good!' movie, plus any movie that sends up the 70's porn movie genre deserves a quick look!

I have to say 'Carry On Behind' ranks as the last great 'Carry On' film; after that, they really do go downhill. But this one, I can't even think of many words to describe it. It's so bad that it's almost unwatchable.

Thomas and Rogers must have been disappointed with the final outcome. They were so used to brilliance, and so were the cast. What they made was a cheap, desperate attempt to suit a change in society.

I'm scarred by the look on Joan Sims's face as she tries to deliver her lines. When I read that Beryl Reid was in it, I was really excited to see it. A fabulous comedy actress-what a shame this was her first and last.

The worst film of all time? It's truly embarrassing, and it's just crude, but not even funny crude. I can't believe I got to the end. Hated it.

1/10.