Train spécial pour Hitler

I've bought some good movies repackaged in some bad video boxes. In the 80's and 90's lots of 70's sleaze and horror classics were packaged with new artwork (and sometimes titles.) They now look more dated than the often better original movie artwork ever could. The good news is I've found "The Devil's Nightmare", "Frightmare", "The Blood Splattered Bride", and now this film, in the dollar bin under different names. "Helltrain" is given the title "Captive Women V" and features two big-haired early 90's bondage women on the cover. Yuck.

It's a great looking movie. No one can tell me the sex scene in the coal bin is not well shot. Oh yeah, there is nudity in this film and quite a bit of mistreatment of women. Throw in the Aryan element and you have a movie guaranteed to make some people at least a little uncomfortable. Grab this if you can.

Special Train for Hitler AKA Hell Train sees seasoned exploitation star Monica Swinn as Ilsa... sorry, I mean Ingrid... a nightclub singer put in charge of a train full of prostitutes doing their bit for The Fatherland by giving pleasure to officers of The Third Reich.

But as Ilsa... sorry, I mean Ingrid...and her girls wend their way through war-torn Europe aboard their steam-powered brothel-on-wheels, their beloved Fuhrer is slowly losing his bid for world domination. With the Allied forces drawing ever closer, it's the end of the line for Ilsa's... sorry, Ingrid's... love train, and the blonde bitch must use all of her womanly wiles to survive...

Nowhere near as salacious and sleazy as my plot summary suggests, Hell Train is possibly the tamest of all of the Nazisploitation films that I have seen so far.... and I've seen quite a few! The depravity is limited to a lame table-top striptease from Swinn before some leering Nazi top brass, an officer having wine licked from his bare chest by two harlots (the beast!), a couple frolicking on a pile of coal (how filthy!), a top ranking officer riding a prostitute around a carriage like a horse (how inhuman!), and a German whore being repeatedly spanked by angry partisans (it seems that war makes monsters of us all!).

In a genre that exists to shock and offend, such innocuous, lightweight antics are inexcusable; Dyanne Thorne would never have let it happen.

Domination is the name of the game in Love train for the SS (probably called "Hell Train" in your local video store). This unintentionally comic Masterpiece takes place in WW2. The "plot" is about a train of good time girls being sent to the front to service the hardworking German soldiers. Highlights include some of the worst dubbing I've ever seen, (The Speech by the SS officer at the beginning is classic) and some spanking scenes that will delight the S&M enthusiast. Erik Muller steals the movie with his nursery rhyme type spanking of one of the girls, "One and two why dont you, three and four you want some more!?" as his German mistress gleefully watches. However pride comes before a fall as Monica Swinn (Ingrid the German mistress) finds out. When the train is attacked its Revenge...Partisan style. How?? Spankings of course!!! and soon Ingrid is on the recieving end. This all precludes the blockbuster ending as the american GIs come on the scene to save the day and perhaps spank those naughty Germans. If you havent laughed in a while this movie is a must rent!!

This movie begins in the Spring of 1941 with a nightclub singer named "Ingrid Schuler" (Monica Swinn) entertaining a group of Nazi officers. A few months later an announcement is made that Germany has invaded the Soviet Union and it's around this time that Ingrid is commissioned into the army and put in command of several young women who have enlisted for the sole purpose of satisfying the sexual appetites of German officers fighting for the Third Reich. Since most of these officers are located at a distance from Germany's borders a special train is put at Ingrid's disposal which has all of the comforts of a normal brothel. At first all of the women are strictly volunteers, but as time progresses some are conscripted as well. Likewise, as the war begins to take a turn for the worse their mission also changes which leaves many of them very displeased. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it I will just say that this film certainly had potential. Unfortunately, like many "Nazi Exploitation" films, this particular movie loses its focus by concentrating too heavily on rather extended (and sometimes repeated) scenes of a sexual nature while totally neglecting things like character development or creating smooth transitions from one scene to another. Now obviously this movie was never intended to win an Academy Award but that shouldn't prevent the director (James Gartner) from spending a little more time on the overall quality of the product. As it was this movie seemed too cheap and trashy-even by "Nazi Exploitation" standards. On a positive note, I liked the presence of who Sandra Mozarowsky (as "Greta") who I thought was quite attractive. Even so this wasn't enough for me to rate this movie any higher than I have.

"Special Train for Hitler" – although Hitler himself obviously doesn't board the train at any point during the movie – is a pretty stupid and sick spirited late 70's euro-exploitation effort that describes itself best as "Salon Kitty on Wheels". Because she's such a loyal supporter of Hitler's ideals, and because she regularly provides him sexual pleasures for free, Stürmbahnfuhrer Otto Kramer puts cabaret singer Ingrid Schüler in command of a very unique military project. She and several other patriotic females volunteer to railway all throughout The Third Reich on a coal train brothel and offer their bodies to German combatants to keep up their morals and to reward them for their devotion. They don't consider themselves to be prostitutes, however, since they refuse to have sex with low ranked front soldiers. The film follows their sleazy escapades from the rise of The Third Reich all the way to the invasion of American troops. There are numerous problems with "Special Train from Hitler", varying from incredibly inept dialogs to a complete lack of coherence, but the main issue is that the screenplay attempts to tackle far too many story lines. The uncut version lasts 110 minutes and that is WAY too long for a movie of this kind. Director Alain Payet launches new uninteresting sub plots whilst the previous ones are still unfinished and most of them are totally pointless anyway. There's the recurring theme of Ingrid Schüler (somewhat modeled after Dyanne Thorne in "Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS") gradually becoming greedier and madder with power, the continuous rivalry and hostility between the Nazi prostitutes, the confrontation with a bunch of Polish resistance fighters and the women's desertion to the Allies when things go wrong for Germany. There's also an incredibly dumb and wannabe emotional sub plot about the developing romance between a Nazi captain and one of the protestants. The film really tries to make us care for them, but … they're Nazis! Nazi-exploitation movies are hardly ever satisfying viewing material, but nevertheless I've seen quite a number of them. Go figure. "Special Train for Hitler" is not the worst of the bunch ("SS Experiment Camp" and "Red Nights of the Gestapo" are even worse in my opinion), but it definitely qualifies as one of the stupidest. There are numerous little and big things that don't make any sense, like characters changing their personalities multiple times and Russian ambushes appearing and disappearing again, but that's largely because this type of movies always puts the emphasis on sleaze and perversion. The orgies and sex footage is raunchy enough if you like this sort of stuff, with loads of spanking, bondage, rape, S&M and humiliating horseback riding. The film also contains an overlong scene in which an Aryan whore makes love to a German officer's booth. Perfectly normal, of course. Needless to say that, even though I found the DVD of this film in the erotic section of the video store, there's absolutely nothing erotic or even remotely arousing about it. Lead actress Monica Swinn is terribly unattractive, and she has more hair down there than the average gorilla, but the rest of her army of Gestapo wenches is quite beautiful. The prettiest actress in the cast, Sandra Mozarowsky who portrays Greta, apparently committed suicide in the same year this film got released and she was only eighteen years of age. What a shame!