No. 1 of the Secret Service

Director Lindsay Shonteff has been responsible for some of the worst abortions in British cinema history, as anyone who has seen his indescribable 'Big Zapper' will testify. He had already tried to spoof the Bond genre in the mid-sixties, but his cheapjack product hadn't cut it against 'Thunderball'.

With Roger Moore firmly established as the 'new' Bond in 'The Spy Who Loved Me', Shonteff obviously decided to try again. Casting ex-Witchfinder General Star Nicky Henson as a rather tepid Secret Agent was the closest he came to a good idea: he spoofs the Moore Bond very well, and forces the question as to whether he may have been a more satisfactory Simon Templar in 'Return of the Saint'.

In a nod to 'The Ipcress File', Sue Lloyd pops up (though not out) and says a few lines. Also present are 'Spy Who Loved Me' actors Geoffrey Keen and Milton Reid: their presence hardly enlivens the film, but at least they are familiar faces.

On that subject, 2 interesting British horror film starlets can be seen: 'Theatre of Death' actress Jenny Till and Hammer queen Katya Wyeth. Both have since disappeared.

Cheap explosions, lousy dialogue and not very special effects all wear the viewer down, but the diverting script, amusing playing and superbly corny music keep the interest (if not the British End) up.

This movie is a mess but somehow I enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek performances of Nick Henson as Bind and Aimi MacDonald as Anna. I was disappointed that the fetching Fiona Curzon didn't get more screen time as Goldilocks. It was also interesting seeing parts of London as it was in 1977.

Interestly, Charles Bind used two Smith & Wesson Model 66-1 revolvers chambered in .357 caliber. I suppose they chose these handguns for comedic effect, especially when Bind fires about 20 rounds out of each gun without reloading.

I watched the movie on a Kino Lorber blu-ray disc. They did a good job remastering the movie so it felt like I was watching a better picture quality picture than what they saw in the movie theaters back then. The disc has a few extras, including an interview with the editor of the movie. I'd recommend the disc if you're up for paying up to see this silly film in HD.

Cheers!

Thanks to a larger than usual budget and Nicky Henson's amusing performance in the lead role, No 1 of the Secret Service is about the best of Lindsay Shonteff's cut-price James Bond spoofs. It even achieved a national cinema release in the UK, on a double-bill with the Roger Moore-Stacy Keach actioner, "Sicilian Cross" - ironic really, considering Henson is parodying Moore as the suave No 1!

Those new to the Shonteff style will be bemused by the impenetrable plot, the bizarre sense of humour and the ludicrous comic-strip violence, while Aimi MacDonald is nobody's idea of a James Bond girl - she recites her lines as if she's presenting "Play School"! Nevertheless, it's fun to watch Henson and Keen play at being Bond and 'M', the fight choreography is better than "Big Zapper"s ludicrous Kung Fu battles and the theme music is catchy.