The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington

Joey Heatherton takes the place of Lynn Redgrave in using the name of the famous Xaviera Hollander as the Happy Hooker. Joey's in some serious trouble, she's being held up as an example of the moral decay in America. A Senate subcommittee consisting of David White, Ray Walston, Phil Foster, and Jack Carter is holding hearings on that issue and Heatherton is her star witness.

But often one hand of the government doesn't know what the other is doing. At the same time she's being pilloried in this Senate committee, the CIA wants her to seduce an Arab sheik played by Jerry Fischer. If only handling Osama Bin-Laden was this easy. Heatherton is nothing if not a patriot though and her duty is clear.

In the end the sheik and Heatherton come to a meeting of minds that solves all their problems.

The film is dopey and God only knows what a whole lot of recognizable faces were doing in this thing. But it's also kind of fun. In fact it would take more than a dozen years before topics like these were discussed in the Halls of Congress. I refer to the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings.

But if you're loving large female breasts, this film is for you.

Happy Hooker Goes to Washington (1977) was the best of the "Happy Hooker" trilogy (but that's not saying much). This time around, "The Happy Hooker" is portrayed by Joey Heatherton (who's steaming hot in this picture and the best of the bunch). This time around the "World's famous Madame" takes her act to Washington D.C. There she meets one of Hollywood's top ten mack-daddies, Mr. George Hamilton who co-stars as a Washington insider.

The film tries not to be sexy or "adult" but more campy. Joey Heatherton looks good and makes a very welcomed screen presence. The movie is okay. It's not great by any means but it's a definite improvement over the first film. The film (like

many during this time period) is extremely dated and doesn't hold very well over the past twenty some odd years. Great film if you're in the mood for some campy fun. Other than that I wouldn't go out of my way looking for a copy. The final chapter to the Happy Hooker trilogy is "The Happy Hooker goes to Hollywood".

Recommended for fans of the genre or for Happy Hooker completists.

B

The first "Happy Hooker" movie was actually watchable. It kept your interest fairly evenly. As for this piece of trash, it was not all that interesting, and was very horribly acted. You can't even value it for the camp value, or write it off as "well it was made in 1977". Cheesy story, and as I said the acting was less than amateur. The scenes with "The Shiek" were embarrassing, and the perpetually tanned George Hamilton as Xaviera Hollander's lawyer was awful. Billy Barty as a vertically-challanged CIA agent was just wrong. Harold Sakata was billed as Harold "Odd Job" Sakata, and his character was just as the credit suggests. Joey Heatherton looked great, but that's about it. For a film with the words "Happy Hooker" in the title, one would expect to see more nudity. Minor titilation wrapped around one badly-made movie. 0 stars out of 5.

In THE HAPPY HOOKER GOES TO WASHINGTON, the title character, Xaviera Hollander (Joey Heatherton) is going about her daily work, unaware that senate hearings are being convened to look into "sexual excesses in America".

Meanwhile, photographer, Rip Taylor, in his best fiberglass wig, takes pictures of call girls.

Next, we're off to an extremely bland orgy, where Ms. Hollander is subpoenaed to testify before the senate. Much 1970's-style, very creaky humor follows. When Xaviera struts onto Capitol Hill, she finds herself up against the self-righteous, hypocritical perverts who turn the wheels of government.

Cue the naked flashbacks.

Not that this movie has to have an actual point to it, but just what the hell is going on? Watching this is like having been slipped a drug that causes sensuality to be insufferably dull!

FACTS LEARNED FROM THIS FILM: #1- Joey Heatherton is hot enough to boil the Mediterranean Sea! #2- The disco era must not have been as fun as it's purported to have been!

WARNING: Watching this movie may cause your skull to splinter outwards like a grenade!...

Forrest was right, this movie is a real gem. A diamond waiting to be unearthed by real movie fans. The performance by Joey Heatherton is so on target, it is a shame that it was overlooked by the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences. The supporting performances deserve equal attention! Why were there no sequels ever made? This is a real moneymaker!