Les impitoyables

The spaghetti western is/was a very specific genre, and by the standards of the day, they were a huge departure. The first several - A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, Once Upon a Time in the West, to name a few - all in the unique hands of director Sergio Leone - are classics. Those that came after - including this one, Diamante Lobo (God's Gun) - not so much. The problem starts with the script, which leaves a lot to be desired. In Leone's films, he realized that he was working with a lot of actors for whom, however good they might or might not be, English was not their first language, if in fact they even spoke it at all. So he wisely devised an approach that required very little dialogue, depending mainly on action, atmosphere, style and - yes, violence. A lot of it. In Leone's hands, this combination spoke volumes. When it came to Gianfranco Parolini (aka Fred Kramer), the magic touch just wasn't there. For Diamante Lobo/God's Gun, the script was just awful - clichéd situations, cheesy dialogue, bad continuity. This saddled some of Hollywood's most reliable actors with a difficult assignment - making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. To a great extent, they were constrained by the director, and they fell back, as actors will, on their shtick, to get them through. For some (Sybil Danning, Jack Palance, Leif Garrett), it worked better than others (Lee Van Cleef, Richard Boone). For Van Cleef, the spaghetti western was familiar territory. But playing sort of against type in such familiar surroundings - good an actor as he was - just doesn't ring quite true. Boone, in one of his last films and probably already in poor health, in addition to being miscast, was just plain disappointing. Palance chews up the scenery, as he was wont to do in many films before and after - too broad, and yet it worked. Garrett, one of Hollywood's most promising young actors at the time, hit most of the right notes. Danning - well, she didn't have much to do, but she handled it quite well. The production values were inadequate. The town looked very well turned out for a dusty old stage stop. The post production just made things worse - bad dubbing, in some cases laughable voice replacement, second-rate scoring, editing that worked against the script (although perhaps in spite of it - who knows?). In short, there was a film in there somewhere, but it didn't have a chance to show itself. Two final thoughts: Although Van Cleef was a veteran of the genre, he wasn't the best choice for role(s). Leif Garrett was quite good when allowed to be. Too many reviewers just hate on child actors as a matter of course. And quite a few deserve it. They may be cute, but they are not good. But some are genuinely talented. Garrett was among them until the music thing overtook him. One can only wonder what might have happened had he not gone the teen idol path. As an actor, he sure had the chops.

This is an interesting spaghetti western that could have been done much better, but it was entertaining nevertheless.

First off, let me say that I love cheesy movies. Cheesy movies can be great! In fact, all of the greatest spaghetti westerns are wonderfully cheesy, but, like a great chef, a great director must know how much cheese, and what kind of cheese to use to create a masterpiece. This movie was not up to those standards.

The music score is a mixed bag. The opening theme is great, and very catchy. As for the rest of the score, some parts are good, but other parts sound tacky and fake, kind of like the music they use in porno movies or those awful direct-to-video films.

With the exception of Van Cleef and Palance, the acting isn't that great, but there are a few things about it that are funny. Towards the beginning of the film during the bank robbery, watch for the look on the deputy's face when he gets shot, and notice the way he falls. It's so stupid it's hilarious. An even funnier scene is when a crook who is forced to dress like a priest gets shot in the back by some members of his own gang. He looks like he is doing some funky dance moves while the bullets are hitting him. I had to play that part over again a few times. There are other similar funny parts, but I won't waste time mentioning them all. You've got to see it for yourself. The movie definitely has that "train wreck" sort of appeal. The overall story isn't bad at all, and it kept me interested all the way to the end, in anticipation of the final showdown.

It's a bit hard to accept Lee Van Cleef as a priest, but when he switches to playing the priest's gunfighter twin brother, he is great, and it adds a tiny bit of quality to a movie that desperately needs it. He is especially good during the flashback scenes that show what happened before his brother talked him into leaving town for good. I have read that Van Cleef's voice in this film is dubbed by someone else. There are parts where it doesn't really sound like him, but there are some lines where the voice sounds exactly like him. Jack Palance is hammy and over the top as the main baddie, but this is great! He is very entertaining in this role. It's like what I was saying earlier about knowing what kind of cheese is good, and Jack Palance is very good. During the final showdown, as Palance is Hamming it up wonderfully, and Van Cleef is giving him that steely, confident stare he does so well, I couldn't help wondering how it would have been if any of the three Sergios, or Tonino Valerii had directed a western with these two actors playing adversaries. There's no doubt it would have been one of the great ones.

Even with all of it's faults, the movie is definitely not boring. It manages to be interesting sometimes in spite of itself, and sometimes because of itself. I recommend that all fans of the spaghetti western genre see this movie. Others will probably want to stay away.

Released in 1976-77, "God's Gun" is a Matzo Ball Western about a preacher (Lee Van Cleef) who chases down a band of outlaws (led by Jack Palance) to apprehend a murderer. After the thugs get revenge the preacher's spiritual son (Leif Garrett) teams-up with the one person who can set things aright. Sybil Danning co-stars as a saloon girl and Richard Boone has a minor role.

This Hebraic Western is stylized with a Spaghetti flavor, but is badly executed. I could never get a grip on the tone the filmmakers were shooting for. Is it semi-camp? Semi-parody? It's obviously not something to take too seriously, but sometimes the viewer's evidently supposed to. Since you can't take the story seriously it prevents you from caring about the events of the story and thus it's boring.

Thankfully, there are some highlights. For one, it was shot in Israel, which is unique for a Western. Secondly, there are a few stunning women, including Sybil Danning when she was around 23 and an uncredited saloon babe named Jessie. Thirdly, it's got Jack Palance and Lee Van Cleef; two Western icons. And, fourthly, Leif Garrett is surprisingly good at around 13 years-old.

But the confused tone and relative dullness do it in.

The film runs 94 minutes.

GRADE: Borderline D+/C- (3.5/10 Stars)

A preacher (Lee Van Cleef) is gunned down by a cutthroat gang (leading Jack Palance) . The son (Leif Garret) of a Saloon girl (Sybil Danning) is looking for the priest's brother , an ex-gunfighter (again Van Cleef) . The gunman seeks vengeance on the evil men who murdered him . Lee Van Cleef is better in the two first films from ¨Sabata¨ trilogy directed by Frank Kramer or Gianfranco Parolini , (the third was starred by Yul Brynner) than here . These movies are enjoyable , full of gadgets , imagination , with enough budget and produced by Alberto Grimaldi (successful producer of Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy) , here the producers are Menahem Golan and Yoran Globus (Cannon Productions) but in short budget and being middlingly directed by Gianfranco Parolini or Frank Kramer.

The picture displays action , gun-play , showdown , and drama but badly narrated ; besides , being in minimum budget and wasted casting . The movie has an awful cinematography and disappointing musical score . Jack Palance (recently deceased) as the exaggerated band leader is overacting , as usual , he plays a megalomaniac nasty in an overdone as well as excessive interpretation . There appears Cody Palance , Jack Palance's son (he had another daughter actress named Holly Palance , too) , unhappily , he early died . Richard Boone is underestimated in a minor role , in spite of getting a long career in classic Westerns . The teen singer Leif Garret as a dumb adolescent is mediocre , he played with Lee Van Cleef another spaghetti Western in similar style : ¨Kid vengeance¨ , being his maxim feat the acting as secondary in ¨Outsiders¨ (by Francis Ford Coppola) , later his career really failed . The motion picture was appallingly directed by Gianfranco Parolini who used the pseudonym of Frank Kramer . He began directing muscle-men epics as ¨Rocha¨, ¨The Macabeos¨ with Brad Harris and ¨The ten gladiators¨ with Dan Davis and Gianni Rizzo , Parolini's usual actor . After that , he continued with ¨commissioner X¨ series with Tony Kendall , fantastic genre with ¨Three supermen¨ and warlike movie as ¨5 per l'Inferno¨ with Gianni Garco (Sartana) and Nick Jordan . His first Western was ¨Johnny West¨ and later on , he directed the ¨Sabata trilogy¨ . Rating : Frustating , far fetching and uninspired Western .

The strangest thing of all about this terrible western is that while it has the look feel and especially the SOUND (loud, overdone) of a spaghetti western, most of the talent involved in the top positions were not European, including the director. Also, the three male leads did not sound right. The lead Lee van Cleef, sounded like himself most of the time , but Jack Palance and Richard Boone were dubbed. This is especially clear with Richard Boone who has a very distinctive voice. If someone out there can tell me why you would dub a distinctive sounding American actor's voice into English, please tell me. I liked the plot twist of the twin brother but this is a bad movie. Enough said!