Eva, la Venere selvaggia

The Italian title for this film was EVE, THE WILD WOMAN which makes a lot better sense than the one attached to it for foreign distribution, KING OF KONG ISLAND. There is no king, no kong, and no island! This is the sort of plot that Republic might have made a 12 chapter serial about. A mad scientist is performing brain operations on gorillas deep in the jungle (NOT on an island) to create an army of simian slaves. Why is he doing this? Because he is a MAD scientist and that is what mad scientists do! Enter the hero (Brad Harris from several muscleman movies) and the heroine (Esmeralda Barros as the Eve, the title character) to defeat the madman and restore the natural balance to the jungle.

Eve the jungle girl is topless for the whole picture but her long flowing hair is strategically arranged except at certain dramatic moments. Those gorillas with the stitches in their heads don't look like gorillas at all to me, they look like stuntmen in costumes! It takes forever for the plot to get going; in fact it starts like an action adventure with Harris' character as a mercenary looking for revenge against the guy who double crossed him. The science fiction element and the jungle girl subplot are introduced to wake the audience up later on.

Perhaps if they had thrown in a dinosaur or two and a nice big explosion at the end. Oh well. I am off to watch the old 1944 serial THE MONSTER AND THE APE . . at least that one delivered what the title promised!

Kong Island, or Eva the Wild Woman is a little difficult to rate. From the point of view of campy b-movie fun, it's goofy and good, but basically, the film isn't really good. It does make more of an effort than a lot of similar films, and is, at times, actually interesting.

Burt (Brad Harris) is double-crossed by Albert (Marc Lawrence, who gives a career-low performance) after a payroll heist in Africa (not an island). After an undisclosed time, Burt returns to Africa to reap revenge. But, as it turns out, Albert is waiting for him, with a small army of remote controlled gorillas. Add a few subplots and season with a generally attractive cast then half-bake for a few hours.

Let's start with the worst aspects:

With the exception of Esmeralda Barros and Mark Farran, the acting is abominable. Of course, the script didn't give any of the actors much to work with, and Ms. Barros (Eva AKA the Sacred Monkey) has a non-speaking role). Brad Harris is ripped, that's about all. I am sure he could have carried the production equipment, but he didn't carry the film. Marc Lawrence has done some interesting work, but his performance here is remarkably bad.

The gorilla costumes are hilarious, and the actors in them are not particularly good at aping apes. The stock footage of African animals is not very well integrated into the action (especially the animals that are obviously living in captivity).

And now, the OK:

The story line is a bit better thought out than most b-grade mad scientist movies, and some of the characters actually seem to have personalities (though not necessarily consistent ones).

The directing is OK. There are some pacing problems - with a few lengthy and unnecessary scenes of people walking through the jungle and safari trucks driving about. The camera work and editing are both pretty good, but there are a couple of rather glaring errors.

And the good:

I liked Esmeralda Barros' character, and felt that she should have been introduced into the film earlier than she was.

Generally, the film keeps moving, and, with the exception of the ridiculous Brad Harris swimming scene (which happens just after one of his companions is murdered - always take a dip immediately after watching somebody get eviscerated, that's what I say), stays focused on the main story.

Ursula Davis has very nice eyes.

Campy B movie buffs WILL LIKE THIS. Can't recommend it for anybody else.

While there's something for everyone (almost) in this action sci-fi, it's unlikely to be your most memorable movie experience. Amiable he-man Brad Harris stars as a mercenary soldier who's double crossed by his medic companion (Lawrence) in a bungled heist, but survives to seek revenge upon the mad doctor now experimenting on gorillas with mind control programming.

Aside from the shirtless Harris, flexing his body-built physique as he cavorts in a jungle pool, Tarzan style, there's also the scantily clad trio Esmerelda Barros (as a fabled native girl accompanied by the ubiquitous cheeky chimp), Adriana Alben (as Harris' sultry, former flame) and Ursula Davis as the short-shorts wearing pawn in Lawrence's diabolical plan to lure Harris to his lair for the purposes of programming him for mind control.

There's a great dancing scene to showcase Harris' moves, a couple of violent ape attacks, some safari wildlife-spotting, and the promise of much more that never really eventuates. Like an early James Bond film meets "King Kong" or "Planet of the Apes", it has camp moments, but is mostly just clichéd and boring with an anti climax that's disappointing and uninspired.

Nice and complex for a cheap 1968 movie. We have overlapping plots. What you may notice right off is there are no island and no Kong. However, there is an Eva, the savage girl (Esmeralda Barros) who exposes her uh talent. We have to put up with an Italian knockoff of a disco and even listen to cheap sci-fi sounds while a mad scientist Albert (Marc Lawrence) monkeys with remote brain control, not to mention the bongo background.

We start with the East Africa Trading Company's parole being pilfered and the head pilferer bumps into the others. Oops, co-pilferer Burt (Brad Harris) survives and intends to track Albert down. The plot thickens when we meat a bar owner, his wayward mistress, his blond "lights on, nobody home" daughter Diana (Ursula Davis), his puppy dog son, and a few mysterious characters.

The daughter wants to shoot the sacred monkey.

Mad scientist covets the monkey brain.

And Burt monkeys around.

Now quit looking for Kong! I told you there is no Kong!

Everyone double-crosses everyone else.

So, does the scientist get away?

Will we ever see the sacred monkey?

Who gets the blond?

Who gets the chimp?

Who gets to watch a ridicules movie?

KING OF KONG ISLAND is about Burt Dawson (Brad Harris), his incredible ordeal, and his ultimate quest to find a mad scientist named Muller (Marc Lawrence). This takes Dawson deep into the heart of dance clubs, where he dances like he's got spiders in his shirt.

Dawson also treks through the jungles of Africa, encountering things called "wild animals", as well as a woman known as the "Sacred Monkey" (Esmeralda Barros). Having lost her top, she runs free through the trees, her long, magic hair somehow covering her assets, no matter how she moves, or what she does!

For his part, Muller is building an army of remote-controlled go-rillas! He's definitely crackers, with only world conquest in mind.

Loaded to the gills with imbecilic characters and absurd dialogue, this is one of the few movies that can actually turn a brain to stone. So, be careful! Calling this movie "stupid" or "inane", is like calling a 5-lb. Cheeseburger with a shovel-full of fries... "fattening". It also has an extremely high boredom factor that only the hardiest of souls could possibly endure. As with all such hyper-sludge, it's best to simply go with it, for going against it could cause cranial collapse...