Quotes

Last of the Summer Wine

[Compo has just died]
Truly: Are we going to see him?
Norman Clegg: I can see him, fooling about, hands in his pockets, dragging his wellies.
Truly: Are we going to see him before they close the lid.
Norman Clegg: Oh, I'm not so sure about that.
Truly: You'll be sorry. Besides, how often do you get to see something for nothing these days?

[the boys are climbing a hill that provides a spectacular view of the surrounding countryside]
Walter "Foggy" Dewhurst: Every time I come up here, the spirit soars! You can't help thinking what a wonderful place it would be to set up a machine gun! Give me a small squad of hand-picked men and I could defend this place indefinitely!
Norman Clegg: How long have you been a nature lover, Foggy?

Howard: I bet they think we're up to something.
Marina: The thought does cross your mind.
Howard: I want you to know. I'd never do anything to compromise your reputation.
Marina: Not on a bicycle. I can see that.

Ivy: You *do* realise you'll be representing your country.
Sid: No problem.
Ivy: We haven't been at war with France for ages. I suppose it had to end some time.

Compo: [plaintively] I've neglected her.
Norman Clegg: Sounds reasonable to me. If *I* had Nora Batty, *I'd* neglect her too.

Blamire: Now you wait here. It's not only me City and Guilds, it's the social chasm between us.
Compo: Hey, shurrup! Give us a fag and I'll give you a sniff of me socks!

[at Compo's funeral, as "The Last Post" plays in the background, Clegg releases a pigeon called Gladys, with a harmonica strapped to its wings, in memory of Compo]
Norman Clegg: Mind how you go, Gladys. Best of luck from all us pigeons.

[Foggy is trying to get Howard in shape by leaping small walls]
Walter "Foggy" Dewhurst: It's people like you who make this country so rich in idiots.

[talking about Howard]
Pearl: He's in search of the silent bicycle. It's when they're quiet you know they're up to something.

Compo: It's just an ordinary dart.
Walter "Foggy" Dewhurst: It's not an ordinary dart. It's very far from being an ordinary dart. I've prepared it with something to make the creature sleep. Don't worry - I've seen the natives do this in the jungle.
Norman Clegg: Yeah, but they've got poisons growing in the jungle. What have you got?
Walter "Foggy" Dewhurst: The trained soldier learns to make do with whatever's available. You have to use whatever comes to hand.
Compo: All right. What is it tha soaks the darts in that's gonna put it to sleep.
Walter "Foggy" Dewhurst: Well, if you must know, it's Horlicks.