User reviews

One of the most politically incorrect films of all time, Pretty Maids All In a Row is easily Roger Vadim's most audacious film. Scripted by Gene Roddenberry it focuses on the strange happenings taking place at a California high school. To better understand this film, you need to know more about Roger Vadim. He was by all accounts a unrepentant womanizer. He wrote not just one, but two books concerning his love affairs with Brigitte Bardot, Catherine Deneuve, Annette Atroyberg, and Jane Fonda. The filmmaker practically invented the modern day sex film in 1956 with And God Ceated Woman. In 2005, Jane Fonda went public with allegations claiming that Vadim forced her to have threesomes with other women.

Director Roger Vadim obviously loved women. The way the camera takes in the female form in this film shows that this guy truly enjoyed this cast of beautiful high school girls who are dropping out of school in the most unfortunate manner: they are being murdered. The first body is found by student Ponce. He discovers the nude body in the boy's washroom. After discovering the body we are introduced to the detective assigned to the case as well as an amoral guidance counselor named Tiger (played by Rock Hudson) who also happens to be sleeping with his students in his office.  The investigation goes and we discover that the murdered girls happened to be sleeping with Tiger. Despite of all the heat pressure placed on him, Tiger doesn't seem worried that he'll get caught. He continues coaching the football team, eventually setting Ponce up with a sexy new teacher (Angie Dickinson), and of course carrying on affairs with the students. 

In his autobiography, Vadim recalled the casting of the students in Pretty Maids All in a Row: "...I had auditioned over two hundred boys and about the same number of girls. Most of the girls who applied in the roles of high school alumni were aspiring actresses, though some were local students who merely found the whole thing amusing." For a man recovering from love sickness (Jane Fonda had just divorced Vadim), this succession of young teenage and college age beauties was intoxicating. Vadim specifically ordered the wardrobe department to dress the girls in micro skirts and tight fitting shirts. Notably, a good portion of them aren't wearing bras. Vadim films these young ladies, many of which appear to be underage, in a method that is so unapologetically sexual that you'll soon understand why this film will likely never appear on DVD. With pedophilia being such a hot topic in today's society, no film company wants to risk being accused of exploiting minors by releasing this on DVD.

With its nonstop leering shots of teenage body parts and seemingly giddy portrayal of sexual relationships between adults and children, does Pretty Maids All in A Row seem like a celebration of pedophilia? Uh, the correct term is 'ebephophilia' which means 'love of adolescents'. I guess it's a matter of opinion. When I first viewed this film as a teen, the director's constant zooming in on the breasts and buttocks of female high school students was a bit shocking, but had a point to it. I mean, high school is a particularly sexualized place being that many students are entering in relationships for the first times in their lives. Then I read a movie review about how Pretty Maids All in A Row may have been the most widespread female-kiddie-porn film ever seen. The slow, misty shots of the braless pubescent girls in their micro skirts were far too prevalent to be incidental. When I saw this movie again, this time in my late 20s, I had no problem understanding the reviewer's point of view. For example, the opening scene of this movie consists of a closeup of a pair of butts belonging to two female classmates of Ponce. These two, who look barely 18, show up randomly during this movie, and every scene they are in, the camera is fixated so closely on their mini skirts that it's laughable. I can find no reason for so pointlessly including these two girls in the movie other than for the director to showcase their gorgeous bodies with series of gratuitous shots of their crotches and rears. It seems all quite juvenille. Still, I don't think anyone should not see this film just because director Vadim can't go two minutes without fetishizing a sea of young female bodies.

To better understand all the blatant voyeurism directed towards these girls, remember that this is an American movie made with a European mentality. The European school of film-making seems to approach the entire feminine image in a different sense than the Americans do; the female body is perceived to be a work of art in itself, that it is graceful, elegant, beautiful and sensual, an aesthetic object with erotic power. Presenting it in the proper manner makes one marvel instead of blushing and turning away--that seems to be the attitude this director takes, and it causes the frequent nudity in the film to be not so much dirty, obscene, and debaucherous, as being instead a presentation of a thing of beauty.

The acting in Pretty Maids is first-rate. The cast is by far the film's strongest asset. These are all truly courageous performers, and the acting is so good, it's scary. The standouts are probably Rock Hudson and John David Carson. Not surprisingly, Telly Savalas as a Kojak-style detective steals every scene he is in. Angie Dickinson is great, but I was distracted by her aesthetic qualities.

Pretty Maids is a good movie that has quite a few shocking moments. It's quite implausible and uneven, but I recommend seeing it. It's one of those movies where you just HAVE to see it, you know? Not because it's some great masterpiece of cinema, but because there's a lot there to talk about. Check it out.

Rock Hudson's extraordinary good looks and charm are cast against type as he plays a school guidance counselor and football coach who picks a few choice plums among the student body on a regular basis. Seeing all those nubile young girls with skirts up to their hynies was temptation enough for anyone. The problem is that these girls want to take a permanent lease out on him and he's already married to Barbara Leigh and has a little daughter. What choice is there before the scandal costs him his job, but kill these Pretty Maids All In A Row.

The unusual combination of Gene Roddenberry who wrote script and French director Roger Vadim, best known here on this side of the pond for Barbarella created Pretty Maids All In A Row, a black comedy that garnered a nice cult following. Hudson worked well playing his one and only villain on the big screen.

A secondary plot involves substitute teacher Angie Dickinson who Hudson gives a warm up to in preparation for his protégé young John David Carson nailing Dickinson. A little Tea And Sympathy sideline as Carson slowly discovers what his mentor is up to..

Roddy McDowall plays the clueless high school principal and Keenan Wynn the equally clueless sheriff. One who is not clueless is Telly Savalas who plays a Kojak like detective who suspicions that Hudson is the murderer but can't quite prove it. At the end of the film Savalas is totally convinced.

Hudson as serial killer might be jarring to his fans, but Rock does pull it off. An interesting alternative part for an actor who was far better than he was credited.

Black comedy about sex and murder at a high school. Guidance counselor Tiger McDrew (Rock Hudson) is banging many of the female students while also trying to help horny virgin Ponce de Leon Harper (John David Carson) get lucky with a hot new teacher (Angie Dickinson). Meanwhile Police Captain Sam Surcher (Telly Savalas) investigates a series of killings at the school.

Fun, sexy, and cheesy in the best way. The cast is great. Lots of pretty girls, with of course sexy MILF Dickinson the standout. The script, by Gene Roddenberry of Star Trek fame, is smart and Roger Vadim's direction is good (in his first American film). Perhaps not for all tastes and definitely not for those who take everything seriously. If you enjoy some political incorrectness in your movies, you should have no problem enjoying this.

After years of only knowing about this movie, I finally saw it on the Dailymotion site. Since it's directed by Roger Vadim, I wasn't too surprised it showed many teen girls in sexually provocative poses. It's slightly a bit more surprising Gene Roddenberry-the creator of "Star Trek"-was the writer and producer, though the fact his series had plenty of pretty women might have been a sign. Rock Hudson is the school guidance counselor and coach who manages to get many of the female students in his office for recreation. Angie Dickinson is a substitute teacher who gets one unlucky boy-played by John David Carson-in a lucky mode, if you know what I mean. Their scenes are perhaps the funniest in the movie while much of the rest of it is only slightly amusing like principal Roddy McDowell describing one of the dead girls as a "terrific little cheerleader"! Keenan Wynn plays the not-very-bright sheriff and Telly Savalas is the detective who seems to get closer to nabbing the killer. Also of interest is one former "Star Trek" player-James Doohan-is also in this but not in his Scottish accent! I watched with bemusement throughout so on that note, I say Pretty Maids All in a Row is worth a look.

A juicy bit of 70s kitsch right here for your viewing pleasure. Rock Hudson as a horny high school coach/guidance counselor who is nailing every girl in sight. This man is so hip, he has arranged the thumb tacks on his cork board into a peace sign. No wonder all the kids love him. Right on, man.

The luscious Angie Dickinson plays a substitute teacher who wears very short skirts and form-fitting sweaters. Not only does she get felt up by Hudson, she also enthusiastically deflowers the gawky teenage male virgin after extolling the virtues of John Milton's "Paradise Lost." Telly Savalas is the state police detective called upon to solve a series of murders of young girls at the high school, the first of which is charmingly named "Jill Fairbutt." No lollipop here. He is sucking on a cigarette, a cancer stick, a coffin nail! Who loves ya, baby? Nice job by Keenan Wynn is the wheezy geezer local sheriff assigned by Savalas to direct traffic after incompetently touching every bit of evidence at the first murder scene. Also by James Doohan ("Scotty" of Star Trek fame) as Savalas' underling. Too bad they couldn't have gotten Shatner to give Hudson a run for his money...

Also heard from is Roddy McDowell, twittery here as the high school principal, whose concern over the murders is limited to characterizing one of them as a "great little cheerleader." He comes complete with prim, nerdy, bespectacled secretary, de rigeur for the 70s.

In what other decade could something be listed as a comedy/crime/ thriller? Only the 70s, my friend. You can also groove to the opening song by the Osmonds, "Chilly Wind," which happens to be sung over Rock Hudson getting it on with a topless honey. Osmonds and boobies - my head just exploded.

If I'm not mistaken, I think I saw a very young Alfre Woodard as one of the students questioned by Savalas. Rock that afro, girl!

What can you expect by combining the directing talents of Roger Vadim and the writing of Gene Roddenberry? If you can ignore the misogyny of every female in this movie being a ditz/victim/sex object/cuckold, then you will enjoy this very of-its-time pre-sex-comedy-era sex comedy. With some murder thrown in. And a bit of mystery. And don't forget the Osmonds.

At Oceanfront High School, all of the female students are lithe, lovely,luscious and lusty, the substitute English teacher is delighted to introduce the assistant manager of the football team to the wonders of sex (if only to help shrink his perpetual erection) and someone is killing off co-eds.The identity of the murderer isn't hard to figure out. The short list of suspects is a very short list. More puzzling is how MGM got away with schoolmarm Angie Dickinson's seduction of the underage lad played by John David Carson. Or why even the homeliest co-ed at Oceanfront turns out to be a knockout when she takes off her glasses and lets her hair hang loose. Rock Hudson in an uncharacteristic role is the phys ed teacher who spends most of his time bedding students. Telly Savalas is a curious cop and Keenan Wynn gets what he deserves for being the movie's dumbest security guard.

Given the A-list pedigree of the cast, this is one baffling relic of a brief and long-gone period of our cultural history. Soft-core fanatic Roger "Barbarella" Vadim teams up with Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry (of all people!) to produce this shameless exploitation flick. Granted, it was based on a novel, so I suppose writer/producer Roddenberry can't receive all the blame for this mess. But the fact that he chose this particular material for his one and only non-Star Trek feature film sheds new light on the ultra mini skirt, coconut shell bra, and Captain-Kirk-seducing-every-buxom-alien-in-the-galaxy fixation of his series. All the girls in this high school are centerfold wannabes, disrobing and literally throwing themselves into the arms of married football stud Rock Hudson. Teachers having sex with students on campus grounds is treated with an off-hand "lock the door." (And believe me, I am by no means a prude when it comes to the complex issue of teenage sexuality.) Hudson essentially pimps out substitute teacher Angie Dickenson to his young virginal protégé, while she makes her own fierce attempts at getting into Hudson's drawers. Whew! I realize this was the 70s when free love reigned, but maybe the original novel gave better psychological background for all this casual bed-hopping. I won't even get into the whole murder mystery angle of the story, but the appearance of a serial killer in school is treated with the same shrug of indifference by the characters as their fixation on sex. This film is not outrageous enough to be camp, and not dark enough to be creepy, but just another sorry addition to Roger Vadim's irrelevant cannon of work.

Because I'm re-enrolling for post-graduate summer school!

This picture proves that on occasion a less-than-deep storyline doesn't prevent a film from being terrifically-entertaining. You'll be dragged along willingly and unprotestingly in the offbeat proceedings onscreen.

And Angie Dickinson (who seems to be thoroughly enjoying her part) is stunning, gentlemen ... stunning!

Recall that gorgeous teacher we all remember oh-so-well from high school? Well, here ... she ... is. And John David Carson plays, uh ... every guy who was ever in her class, okay?

Things move along smoothly in parallel plots, a strange mix of sex comedy and murder-most-foul. But it all works, and you won't forget "Pretty Maids" any easier than you ever forgot ... that long-ago teacher.

Highly recommended, for adults.

Viewed this film early in the AM and never knew that Rock Hudson,(Michael 'Tiger' McDrew),"Embroyo",'76 starred in a picture as a coach and practically seduced every young girl in the high school. There is plenty of nudity, frontal and back along with wild scenes and Angie Dickinson,(Miss Betty Smith),"Dressed to Kill",'80, seducing a teenage boy. Telly Savalas,(Capt. Sam Surcher),"Backfire",'95 plays a police office who investigates a mysterious murder in a men's room at the high school. Roddy McDowall,(Mr. Proffer),"Lassie Come Home",'43, plays the school principal and looks too young to play this role. Even Keenan Wynn,"The Lucifer Complex",78 plays the role of a dumb police officer who manages to foul up the crime scene. This film has everything, Drama, Comedy, and plenty of Romance. Poor Rock Hudson must have been worn out trying to play this role, his performance sure surprised me and so did this film.

Black comedy (I think) of a high school where girls are being murdered. While this is happening football coach Michael 'Tiger' McDrew (Rock Hudson) is giving lessons to student Ponce (John David Carson) on how to pick up girls(!!!). Throw in Roddy McDowall as the dean, Angie Dickinson as a teacher, Telly Savalas as a police detective, James Doohan as his helper and Keenan Wynn as a bumbling police officer and you got one strange movie.

I can't quite figure out what they were aiming for here. Some of it is funny and I thought it was a comedy, but it was often pretty sick (the dead girls) and ended up showing as much female nudity as an R rating would allow. Director Roger Vadim seems more interested in female bodies and nudity than a coherent story and characters. At first the weirdness kept me watching--the characters act strange and things are shown at different angles. But that wore quick pretty fast and I started to get bored. By the end I was actually getting annoyed with the constant female nudity and all women being portrayed as young and beautiful with great bodies and not a brain in their heads. Guys don't come off much better--Hudson is sleeping around with all the teenage girls (kind of amusing now that we know he was gay) and Carson is constantly horny.

Acting varies. Carson is just terrible and that's a problem cause he's the lead! His one-note performance drags the movie down. Dickinson is as good as she can be (not very) and Hudson tries but seems uncomfortable. McDowell, Savalas and Wynn however were good. And it was fun to hear James Doohan speaking in his regular voice and not the Scottish one he uses in "Star Trek".

All in all a virtually forgotten movie--for good reason. This is more a skin flick than anything else. Also mixing dead teenage girls and sex as if it's funny is in very questionable taste. I give it a 4.

Comments are based upon TV viewing.

Always a fan of Angie Dickenson and interested in Gene Roddenbery projects.

In 1970, singer Little Richard , on The Mike Douglas Show, mentioned that he was to be in a movie with Rock Hudson, as "The Insane Minister". Did he mean MGM? Historians, please help! :)

This presumptive unrealized Richard project sure is different....a true cult movie with a lot of interest for fans of Hudson, as well. Gene Roddenberry did the script, which can't be considered at the level of his famous sci-fi TV icon, but there is zero impetus to raid the frig' during the viewing.

Has much of the feel and atmosphere of the period. Hudson's acting is especially nuanced; Dickenson's sensuousness actually moves the plot line.

I'm not at all sure what tone director Roger Vadim and producer-writer Gene Roddenberry were aiming for here, and I'll bet the actors didn't even know. It's probably your only chance to see John David Carson in action--he was the second choice for 'Keith' on TV's "The Partridge Family"--and the reason why he failed to make the cut is abundantly clear: he's a colorless young actor with one dull expression for every emotion. Carson plays an awkward virgin in high school who gets tips on picking up girls from coach Rock Hudson, all while a serial killer is on the loose. I'll admit the identity of the killer wasn't obvious to me, but the revelation--and the build-up to it--show no sense of intrigue or imagination. This is quite a curiosity: full of talent, but a big fizzle. James Doohan has a small role (nice of Roddenberry to remember his friends), but Angie Dickinson, Telly Savalas, Roddy McDowall and Keenan Wynn are wasted. ** from ****

This movie is lots of fun - a time capsule of the swinging Seventies - tight pants, mini-mini skirts, people sayingt "Right on" and Rock Hudson as a girl hound - seducing any girl who comes into his classroom - yes, Rock plays "Tiger" a football coach and guidance counselor. Angie Dickinson plays a lusty teacher who helps seduce a young virgin boy. Telly Savalas is a hoot as the hard-nosed cop trying to solve the series of murders that start happening at the high school - Salvalas does some truly strange things as an actor - he holds his smoking cigarette in various odd ways and is constantly putting his big sunglasses on his head, on his nose, on a lamp -- the whole movie is this strange little sex-murder mystery (light on the mystery). Written by Star Trek creator, Gene Rodenberry!!!! If you like cheesy fun flicks from the early 1970s, this one is for you. A hoot!

This was one of the most influential movies of my high school years.

And it's all thanks to French director Roger Vadim. Magnifique!

What a life Vadim must have led during the '60s & '70s. Yes, this is envy speaking.

Okay, some of the credit for this most enjoyably sly & funny little gem goes to Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, who, for this film went where he'd never gone before, bringing along James Doohan, aka, Scotty with him on this marvelous adolescent comedy sex fantasy/murder mystery.

The cast has a lot of fun, including Rock Hudson and the most heterosexual high school counselor in the universe (believe it); and Angie Dickenson as the sexiest teacher this side of my sophomore English teacher, Miss Lynn Segal at San Gabriel High (Angie has a stiffie-inducing seduction scene that'll ring most guy's bells like Quasimodo sure as hell never could).

In a wonderfully clueless comic role is Keenan Wynn. He's great. And a pre-Kojak Telly Savalas is the coolest police homicide detective in the history of cinema. High school chicks dig him.

John David Carson is ideal as Ponce, the shy, quiet, timid, virgin student who doesn't necessarily end up that way. Every girl he sees drives him crazy - and it's easy to see why. These babes are total! Joanna Cameron, Aimee Eccles, June Fairchild, Barbara Leigh as Rock's jaw-dropping wife, and the other "Pretty Maids" will bring eyesight to the blind. Wow!

I could go on, but why? If you like it, you like it. If not, try Von Stroheim or Bergman. I prefer Vadim. Pretty Maids All In A Row entrertained me then, and it entertained me one night in August 2006.