Don't Drink the Water

"Don't Drink the Water" is an unbelievably bad film. It's based on a 1966 Broadway play by Woody Allen. It stars Jackie Gleason, the comic genius behind "The Honeymooners". The director, Howard Morris, has appeared in several Mel Brooks comedies (Life Stinks, High Anxiety, Silent Movie)and has made a mark in animation (characters he has voiced include Gopher from "Pooh", Jughead (Archie)and Beetle Bailey) What went wrong?

I think the problem is that the premise is played out too seriously to work effectively. Allen's original play was tongue-in-cheek, which is why it worked on Broadway and in Allen's 1994 remake. The screenplay by R.S. Allen and Harvey Bullock beats the premise to death and makes too many changes from the original play. Making Gleason's wife an airhead in this version when she was a headstrong woman in the original is just one example of why this doesn't work.

The acting isn't much better. Gleason does the best he can with the material, but he can't save this. Gleason was a comic genius , but also a fine actor as he demonstrated in "The Hustler" and "Soldier in the Rain". His abrasive personality could have worked here, but the lousy script doesn't even give him a chance. Too bad. Estelle Parsons' airhead wife will drive you nuts after 20 minutes. See how soon it'll take for YOU to want to strangle her. That is also a shame because she is also a fine actress, having turned in two exceptional performances in "Bonnie and Clyde" and "Rachel, Rachel" None of the other actors do particularly well either.

Woody Allen hated this film so much that he remade the film in 1994 with himself and Julie Kavner (Marge Simpson) in the leads. They manage to hit all the right notes and the film itself is a comic masterpiece. It's finally on video after a long battle over rights. Do go out and find that version. All the 1969 original is good for is clearing out unwanted guests who overstay their welcome.

1/2* out of 4 stars

I thought this version was better than the one made in 1994 by Woody Allen, the show's writer. Jackie Gleason is the entire movie and he has some hilarious bits as a caterer from New Jersey suspected for being a spy behind the Iron Curtain in "Vulgaria." Everyone around him is quirky, crazy or incompetent and Gleason fills up the screen (literally!) with slow burns, explosions and sarcasm. His Walter Hollander is a far more formidable character than Woody Allen's take on the role.

I also enjoyed Ted Bessel ("Donald" from "That Girl") as the bumbling embassy attache', Axel McGee--the only man in the Foreign Service to be hanged in effigy by the staff of his own embassy.

I was surprised years later to find that this movie was directed by Howard Morris who was "Ernest T. Bass" on the "Andy Griffith Show."

Comedic story of Americans traveling in foreign countries, and the mis-adventures they run into along the way. Unlike most other writers here, I like the 1969 Jackie Gleason version of Don't Drink the Water MUCH better than the later one starring Woody Allen, who WROTE the thing originally. In the original, the irony is that Jackie Gleason is a big and blustery loudmouth ( a real stretch for him) , but up until the end, not much gets accomplished, in spite of all his yelling and storming around. Also stars Estelle Parsons (Bonnie and Clyde) and Ted Bessell (probably best known as the hen-pecked boyfriend on That Girl). When the diplomat leaves the country, his son Axel (Bessel) fills in, and things take turn after turn for the worse. The debate to remake movies or Not to remake movies continues. Directed by Howard Morris, who had directed both live action and animated comedies for years.

I saw the version starring Woody Allen and feel it is far superior to this film. The play was a hit on Broadway and starred Lou Jacobi.

Allen wasn't a big name when this film was made, so he didn't direct the film and the studio did what they wanted with it.

It's the story of a successful caterer, Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason) and his family, wife Marion and daughter Susan (Estelle Parsons and Joan Delaney) who are on vacation. Walter had wanted to go to Miami, but Marion wanted a tour of Europe. So they went to London, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. On their way to Athens, their plane is hijacked.

They land in a Communist country, Vulgaria, and are taking photos when they Vulgarians go after them, thinking they are spies. The American Embassy saves them and protects them. They can't leave until their travel is arranged.

Their fate is in the hands of a bumbler, Axel (Ted Bessell), the son of the Ambassador. He makes mistake after mistake and his negotiations with the big shot on the other side, Krojack (Michael Constantine) don't go well. Meanwhile the Hollanders are trying to figure out how to escape and go home.

This is a funny and entertaining film, but Allen's version is laugh out loud hilarious, and Allen is a scream. The funniest scene here for me was when Walter is burned in effigy, and they dress the mannequin in clothes identical to Walter's - very loud and very funny.

Gleason is way out there in the role, very Ralph Kramden, and Parsons as his cheerful wife is very good and looks great - I know her only as an elderly woman, but she's always been a terrific actress. Bessell is excellent as well as a sincere goof-up.

Good but not great. See the Allen version, which was done as a TV movie.

With this version of Don't Drink The Water, you get Jackie Gleason (who throws 100% of himself into his character), as well as a script that occasionally sparkles with witty Woody Allen one liners. Add Estelle Parsons as the always-calm-in-the-presence-of-a-hysterical-husband wife, and Ted Bessell in his trademarked 1970's bumbler role, and you've got a pretty nice weekend afternoon of entertainment.

I was particularly intrigued by Joan Delaney as the couple's beautiful daughter and Ted Bessell's love interest. She had a very interesting face, nice appearance and style, and did a good job of maintaining her own presence opposite some of the great scene stealers of that era (Gleason, Parsons, Michael Constantine, Avery Schrieber). I've tried to do a little "whatever-happened-to" search on the internet, but Delaney seemed to have disappeared from the acting scene without a trace after the early 1970's. That's a shame.

In any event, I'm a big Jackie Gleason and Woody Allen fan, and this movie seems to be the closest they ever came to teaming up (although there is little evidence that Woody Allen had anything to do with this film beyond having written the script for the Broadway play). Their participation pushed this movie up to the seven-star range for me.