- Sheriff Jeff: I ask you what time it is and you tell me how to build a clock, just answer the question!
- Sheriff Jeff: *What* did you hit him with?
- Chase Winstead: My brand new, 100% completed hot rod.
- Sheriff Jeff: You'd have had to start in the next county to get up enough momentum to do that to him.
- Chase Winstead: Not with 4 quarts of nitro glycerin riding with me.
- Mr. Wheeler: You drove across that rough field carrying nitro?
- Chase Winstead: Yes sir!
- Sheriff Jeff: Do you realize what could have happened?
- Chase Winstead: It did. I lost my car!
- Sheriff Jeff: Don't worry about that, the railroad will be *glad* to buy you a new one.
- Mr. Wheeler: I guess with Compton gone,that puts Chase out of a job.
- Sheriff Jeff: That's right.
- Mr. Wheeler: Make it a point to send him around to see me in the morning.
- Sheriff Jeff: I'll *bring* him around in the morning!
- Narrator: In the enormity of the west, there are still vast and virtually unexplored regions! Bleak and desolate! Where no human ever goes! And no life is ever seen! It is as though the land had been pelted by god! It is in these lonely areas of the impenetrable forest and dark shadows that the Gila Monster still lives! How large the dreaded Gila Monster grows
- [pause]
- Narrator: no man can say!
- Sheriff Jeff: Have you heard the reports of a "giant lizard"?
- Mr. Wheeler: Yes, but it's just not possible.
- Sheriff Jeff: Well, why not? There have been giants before!
- Chase Winstead: Where's Pat and Liz?
- Bob: Maybe their car broke down?
- Chase Winstead: Hey! I worked on that car myself!
- Bob: That wouldn't make any difference if he goofed the speed shift or something!
- Chase Winstead: And that squirrel is just the one that could do it!