- Andrea Artusi: What a wife I've got! So beautiful.
- [short kiss, long kiss]
- Maria Grazia: Luckily I haven't put lipstick on yet.
- Andrea Artusi: Unfortunately you already put your dress on.
- Maria Grazia: Do you think my neckline is too deep?
- Andrea Artusi: No, I think it's beautiful. Let everyone enjoy it. One shouldn't be selfish. At least your young. Unlike the old Baroness with a neckline down to her waist.
- Maria Grazia: You're exaggerating! Her décolleté is just where the bosom is.
- Andrea Artusi: Exactly! Whereas yours...
- [grabs her bosoms]
- Andrea Artusi: Poor baroness.
- Maria Grazia: The architect says a rocking chair is too bourgeois, but I like it! He says I have to choose between him and the chair. I choose the chair.
- Cristiana: Isn't this better? Now we can watch them without being watched.
- Andrea Artusi: You prefer watching to being watched?
- The Club President: I'll take your wife, then.
- Andrea Artusi: As long as you give her back, President. She is the only one I've got.
- Maria Grazia: My friend got a cowboy has in Texas. Only when he was back in Milan did he notice it said "Made in Italy" inside. Precisely. It's time to let everyone know that Richard Widmark, John Wayne, Burt Lancaster, all wear hats made in Alessandria, Brescia, or Castelvetro.
- Andrea Artusi: Go there. You'll appreciate it. We go crazy at times just to catch a glimpse of a thigh here, but in Paris women walk completely naked all the time. Go to Paris. Go.
- Maria Grazia: You ought to know that beautiful women get whatever they want.
- Andrea Artusi: You ought to know that the husbands of beautiful women can get pretty pissed off.
- The Club President: Never call a woman by name. Just call her "darling." That way you won't get mixed up.
- Andrea Artusi: It's my fault. I gave you too much freedom. They do the right thing in the East - wives locked up and guarded by eunuchs.
- Maria Grazia: Well, if you need the scissors, they're in the drawer in the bureau!
- Andrea Artusi: It's weird, but I feel like I got a load off my back. When a blind man regains his sight, he's happy to see, no matter what he sees.
- Belisario: I think highly of Andrea, but I don't understand him. Maybe because people like myself consider jealousy a luxury only the healthy and wealthy can afford.
- Andrea Artusi: People can come to terms with anything, even death. But those who have missing relatives - wait forever.