Glenn Ford credited as playing...
Captain Heath
- Martha Lou: All right. Let's say, just for the moment, that I *am* a spy.
- Heath: A very pretty one, too.
- Martha Lou: That would make us enemies, Jared.
- Heath: Yeah, of course it would. And, we'd be starting out at a point in marriage that takes some couples twenty or thirty years to achieve!
- Martha Lou: Well, aren't you something? First you break into my cabin with that disgusting display of animal lust. Then you accuse me of being a spy. And now, all of a sudden, I'm the only girl in the world for you.
- Heath: Well, that's the way it goes, sometimes.
- Martha Lou: Well, that's not the way it's going to go this time. So, you just better pull yourself and put me outta your evil little mind.
- Heath: It's a little late for that, isn't it?
- Martha Lou: Do you always just stand calmly by when you see a lady being molested?
- Heath: Oh, you'd be surprised how few ladies I've seen molested. Matter of fact, the last time was about seven years ago.
- Martha Lou: Well, what did you do then?
- Heath: Well, I, uh... I walks over to her and asks if I could be of some assistance, and she just slaps my face, like you did to that fella there. Told me to mind my own business.
- Martha Lou: Oh.
- Heath: Then this fella she's with, he starts to workin' me over, and between the two of 'em, they convert me to mindin' my own business, once and for all.
- Heath: Well, I've been out on patrol, sir. And, as a matter of fact, we brought you back some prisoners.
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: Prisoners?
- Heath: Yes, sir.
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: Who told you to go out after prisoners?
- Heath: Well, nobody told me, sir.
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: Well... Well... Take 'em back!
- Heath: Take 'em back?
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: You heard me! Take 'em back!
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: Which one of us graduated from West Point? Just answer me that.
- Heath: You... uh... graduated from West Point, sir.
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: You bet I did. And how many times have I warned you against showing any initiative?
- Heath: Oh, it must be up in the thousands, sir.
- Easy Jenny: Say, you're not interested in her, are you?
- Heath: Not in the way you mean, Jenny.
- Easy Jenny: What other way is there?
- Heath: Well, the whole thing kind of snowballed, General. I see Col. Brackenbury, he's headin' for the rear, I run after him to see what's wrong. When I turn around, I see the men, they're headin' for the rear too. And the first thing I know, everybody's more to the rear than I am. Well, you know, I felt kind of exposed naked, sittin' out there all by myself.
- Heath: Well, you're just about everything I've been lookin' for in a woman, so, even though you are a Confederate spy, I guess I'm just going to have to forgive you.
- Martha Lou: What do you mean I'm everything you've looked for?
- Heath: Well, not everything - but, you're close enough.
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: That isn't what we were sent here to do. Heath, make those women dismount.
- Heath: Sergeant.
- Sgt. Beauregard Davis: Dismount!
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: Now look, Heath. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about what happened last night.
- Heath: Wrong idea? Oh, you mean the nice old Captain Brackenbury and the naughty little girl business.
- Martha Lou: Well, all right. Unhook me, will you.
- Heath: Well, aren't you going to scream or anything?
- Martha Lou: Scream? For what?
- Heath: That's right. No need to play games. After all, we've both been around.
- Heath: May I have permission to take Miss Williams riding, sir?
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: Yes, yes, I suppose so. But, I must say, Heath, I *fail* to understand what a charming young lady like Miss Williams can find to talk about to you.
- Heath: Well, I'm teaching her what I know about close order drills, sir.
- Col. Claude Brackenbury: Lieutenant, what are the men doing in those bushes?
- Heath: Well, let's see now, what could a bunch of men be doing in the bushes?