La reine des Amazones

Seeing this film credit for Rod Taylor sandwiched in between The Time Machine and The Birds made me wonder just who was this guy's agent at the time and how come Rod Taylor got roped into this one? He had the look of a man who was happy with his trip to Italy for Colossus And The Amazon Queen and the satisfied look of a man whose paycheck for the film just cleared the bank.

Rod Taylor and Italian muscle dude star Ed Fury are a buddy team in this film, Rod does the thinking and Ed the heavy lifting when needed. Rod unfortunately cons Fury the way Crosby used to con Hope and thanks to Rod's machinations, the two of them and a whole lot of other guys who were galley slaves on a ship wind up slaves to a tribe of Amazons.

Now this race of woman does occasionally have need of men and their services and for that the hunkier they are, the better purchase price they get. In fact Rod can't close the deal unless Fury is part of the package.

Unfortunately after a night of bliss the men get themselves taken to slave in the salt mines. The ones who don't quite measure in the hunk department end up as house servants. This was one really lame attempt at gay stereotyping.

Colossus And The Amazon Queen plays like an overlong episode of the old Hercules series with Kevin Sorbo. As we all know Rod Taylor still salvaged a career after appearing in this. That in itself was the biggest miracle associated with this film.

The music score, which ranges from boogie-woogie to a sort of sleazy Vegas romance music, cues you in right away that this is not a movie to be taken seriously. Rod Taylor (as a sort of low-life grifter) and Ed Fury (his muscle-man pal) find themselves prisoners of a tribe of man hungry amazons. Gender bending comedy abounds (male prisoners who've grown accustomed to their fate exchange recipes and complain about not getting their laundry "sparkling", all with swishy mannerisms and camp voices --- very un-PC and funny as hell) along with low-brow slapstick. Viewers tuning in to a movie entitled COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN expecting thoughtful, serious drama will of course be disappointed. Those with more realistic expectations may find this a delight.

Comedic sword and sandal attempt has Aussie Rod Taylor playing a cheeky swindler, conned into travelling to an island on the promise of treasure, discovering that he and his companions are actually man-cargo being delivered to a race of lusty Amazon women for domestic and sexual servitude. Doesn't sound all that bad really. Trouble emerges when the warrior-who-would-be-Queen (Gray) falls for the burly Glauco (Fury), deepening a rift between her and nemesis Melitta (Rocca) that spirals into an internecine contest, further compounded when pirates discover the secluded hamlet.

It's frolicking fun with a high camp quality that you'll either find amusing or dull. Taylor and Fury rarely have a moment without some form of slapstick or situation comedy, while beauties Gray and Rocca have an hilarious rivalry of which Rocca always seems to be on the wrong end. I thought her frequent stumbles were pretty funny in a corny sort of way, and Gianna Canale's horny Queen Regina constantly bemoaning her chastity vow ("does a kiss have a flavour?") also hit the right note. The three female leads also happen to be exceptionally attractive women to boot, which both Taylor and Fury seem to fully appreciate.

Overall, it's a comedy without pretense, featuring a glamorous cast, some witty dialogue, epic sets and the usual colourful costumes. A funny take on domestic role reversal that's politically incorrect but unlikely to offend (e.g. the smug looks on the faces of Taylor and Fury after cheap attempts at groping their masters are rebuffed). Incidentally, there's also a great scene in which a portly, balding and bearded slave plays a kissing Casanova to an endless queue of frisky Amazons that shouldn't be missed for pure ham value.

Taken within the confines of the genre this is a humorous silly adventure. What sets it apart slightly from the usual run of the mill toga films is an odd jazz flavored score and the presence of Rod Taylor at the beginning of his career. Within a few years he's be working for Hitchcock starring in The Birds as well as appearing in other big budget films like The V.I.P.S. and The Time Machine something that no one else in the cast or any other of these sex and sandal flicks ever got remotely close too. Taylor was always a big beefy guy but he is positively dwarfed by Ed Fury, who physique is as usual in awe inspiring shape. Loaded with homo-erotic subtext and dreadful dialog watch this for its camp value and a star on the rise.

This is horrible.

I've seen pretty much every muscle man movie made in the 1950's and 1960's and this is at the bottom of the list.

First off the dubbing is terrible. The cliche of Japanese monster movies are nothing compared to this.

Secondly its suppose to be a comedy. It appears to have been written and acted as one, unfortunately there is nothing funny about it. The problem is that these films run so close to parody as is that its pointless to make fun of them. The only one that ever worked was the original version of My Son The Hero, which was a good movie even without the humor.

Lastly the sets, costumes, ect are overly bad. Again these films run the fine line between reality and parody. Its all of a style that took hold and effectively killed off the genre about five years after this was produced where spandex, beehive hairdos and Max Factor make-up made everything look silly.

The plot, concerning two muscle men and their encounters with the Amazons is stupid and comes from the low sex comedies that rarely traveled outside of Italy because they were more juvenile than funny.

Its over acted and under done.

One out of ten. Its just bad.