Quotes

C'est pas une vie, Jerry!

Homer Flagg: I wish I could go to New York with yuh.
Isaiah Jackson: Now, Homer, you're gonna be fillin' my shoes, stationmaster of Desert Hole!
Homer Flagg: [dejectedly] Yeah.
Isaiah Jackson: [optimistically] In exactly 52 years you'll be getting your pension. Then you'll be on your way to wine, women, and song.
Homer Flagg: In 52 years who'll be able to sing?

Oliver Stone: What if this kid doesn't die in three weeks? What if he just keeps on living?
Wally Cook: Why, I wouldn't let him do a thing like that to you, Oliver!
[Oliver does a reactive take]

Wally Cook: [to Oliver Stone] And there's always politics, Oliver. Think what it means to be a senator! Your mail goes for free.

Oliver Stone: Waiter! Bottle of ginger ale for Mr. Flagg!
Waiter: [disappointed that it's not champagne] Bottle of ginger ale for Mr. Flagg.
Oliver Stone: Domestic!

Homer Flagg: [to Dr. Harris as he sees a skeleton in his office closet] You probably thought nothing was wrong with him either!

Homer Flagg: [running excitedly around his expensive hotel suite] Another bathroom! So shiny, so clean you gotta wash up before you go in there!

Dr. Steve Harris: [flirtatiously on board a plane] Now you tell me where you live, and i'll pick you up.
Wally Cook: My dear doctor, I live on the front page of the Morning Chronicle.
Dr. Steve Harris: On the what?
Wally Cook: [Louder] On the front page of the Morning Chronicle, and you can pick me up for seven cents! Now climb back in your horse and buggy and try your bedside manner on someone else!
Dr. Steve Harris: [Hearing the screech of the wheels touching down on the runway] What was that?
Wally Cook: We just came down to Earth!

Wally Cook: [to Homer] They'll boil you in oil in Macy's window after they marinate you for a week in Gimbel's.

Wally Cook: Oh, come on, Oliver, where's your sense of humor?
Oliver Stone: [after she laughs] You were going to marry him. He would have done to you what he did to the paper.
[she stops laughing]
Wally Cook: [angrily] Why that two-timing little fraud!
Oliver Stone: Where's YOUR sense of humor?

Oliver Stone: ...in a couple of hours the whole city of New York is going to be banging at the door howling for your blood!
Homer Flagg: Why, I ain't got enough for everybody!

Oliver Stone: [to Wally] I am sitting here, Miss Cook, toying with the idea of removing your heart and stuffing it like an olive.

Dr. Steve Harris: What Homer means, is he doesn't like to see those people suffer.
Oliver Stone: They love to stuffer.

Dr. Steve Harris: I'm sorry. It's been a long time since I've seen a girl - I mean a female girl, in Desert Hole.

Dr. Steve Harris: I'm sorry, Homer. I may have been last in my class, but I'm a doctor. I couldn't hand in a phony report: I swore the solemn hippocratic oath. With purity and holiness, I will pass my life and practice my art.

Homer Flagg: Who you hitting, you mail-order MD? For you that stands for Miserable Doctor.

Dr. Steve Harris: That's a pedigree basset hound - a gift from the governor of Kentucky. You don't wanna insult the bluegrass state, do you?
Homer Flagg: No, but why couldn't they send me a horse I could ride...?

Dr. Steve Harris: What's the matter with you, Homer? You should be celebrating. I just saved your life. First patient I ever did that for.

Dr. Steve Harris: Homer, don't you think I'd want you to have radiation poisoning, just to break up the monotony?

Announcer: And now, Homer will throw out the first ball. First ball for us, perhaps the last one for him.

First Hospital Orderly: Here's the patient from Room 433, doctor.
Second Hospital Orderly: He seems to be in a coma.
Dr. Emile Egelhofer: I shall make the medical judgments here, gentlemen. I can dispense with your advice.

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