- Joe Gurney: [after receiving care for a gunshot wound] Well, can I take it or can I take it?
- Dr. Carole Nelson: You can take it. Some people aren't sensitive to pain, especially moronic types.
- Joe Gurney: Hey, did you hear that, Slick? I'm a moronic type.
- Slick: Yeah? Hey, what's that?
- Joe Gurney: I don't know. Some type of medical name, ain't it doc?
- Dr. Carole Nelson: [sticking thermometer in Gurney's mouth] Keep your mouth shut.
- Joe Gurney: Hey, d'ya hear that? That's a hot one. First time anybody ever told me to keep my mouth shut and got away with it.
- Dr. Carole Nelson: I suppose that's something to boast about.
- Joe Gurney: You bet it is! Hey Doc... anybody ever tell you that you're a pretty good lookin' doll? Ah, I'm not kiddin'. Y'know, I don't go for dolls as a rule. I mean, they're just something nice to have around the house like cats and dogs and pets and things. You got brains.
- Dr. Carole Nelson: Yeah, I'm different.
- Joe Gurney: Sure, we could get along swell together if you'd just relax.
- Joe Gurney: [after being shot] Where's my writer?
- Bill Stevens: I'm here, Joe.
- Joe Gurney: I guess you'll have to finish my book without me.
- Bill Stevens: The finish was written long ago.
- Eddie: [after being told by Gurney to come back with a typewriter] Hey, boss, where am I gonna pick up a typewriter at this time of the night? The stores are all closed!
- Joe Gurney: Well, open one!
- Bill Stevens: What do you want with me, Joe?
- Joe Gurney: Well, I tell yuh, me and the boys are takin' a bit of a layoff while the pressure's on, and I got thinkin' about that book you wrote, you know, on Napoleon. Figured that him and me bein' so much alike, you'd like to do a little job for me.
- Bill Stevens: What kind of job?
- Joe Gurney: Well, every big man, you know, oughta have somebody to write his auto... uh, auto...
- [unsure of the word]
- Bill Stevens: Autobiography?
- Joe Gurney: Yeah, that's it.
- Bill Stevens: An autobiography is the story of a man's life written by himself.
- Joe Gurney: Well, I knew that, but I got too many things on my mind to write, so I thought maybe you'd front for me.
- Bill Stevens: What you want is a ghost writer.
- Joe Gurney: [Obviously misunderstanding] No mystery stuff! Just plain facts. How does it sound to you?
- Dr. Carole Nelson: I still have two weeks to convince the medical board that I'm innocent, and until that time I'm a licensed doctor!
- Dr. Sanders: [Self-righteously] But, you have no call to start up in a respectable town like this. If the sheriff did his duty, you'd be locked up in a cell!
- Dr. Carole Nelson: If the state did its duty, YOU'd be locked up in a cell - a padded cell!
- [the sheriff explodes in laughter]
- Aunt Josephine: You're putting your head right in the lion's mouth.
- Dr. Carole Nelson: That's what I've got to do.
- [Niles Nelson can be seen attempting to remove a bullet from the leg of one of Joe Gurney's men while Joe himself watches]
- Joe Gurney: What about the slug?
- Niles Nelson: [annoyed] It's still in there.
- Joe Gurney: Okay, okay. Hey, what's eating you, Doc?
- Niles Nelson: Nothing.
- Joe Gurney: [Shocked that Gurney has shot one of his own men in the back] What yuh wanna do that for?
- Joe Gurney: [as he looks dispassionately through the holes in his revolver and casually blows out dirt] It says in the book that Napoleon said a good general has got to know when to be just, severe, - or mild.
- Joe Gurney: [Entering the doctor's office] Dr. Nelson?
- Niles Nelson: That's right.
- Joe Gurney: [Taking in the doctor's shabby office] I don't get it.
- Niles Nelson: Whatta yuh mean?
- Joe Gurney: A guy with a pair of million dollar hands in a dump like this!
- Niles Nelson: Oh?
- Joe Gurney: Yeah! You're wastin' your time down here. You oughta be uptown with the big dough.