Quotes

Deux nigauds détectives

Mervin Q. Milgrim: [Mervin and Chick and performing their radio play for Juliet, Mervin's holding a gun on Chick] Bang! Ow! Bang! Ow! Bang! Ow!
Juliet Collins: Wait a minute, if you're shooting at him
[Chick]
Juliet Collins: , then why are you yelling?
Mervin Q. Milgrim: I'm holding the gun backwards!

Mervin Q. Milgrim: Hello! Give me Alexander 2222, please. Please give it to me. It's only over here on the other side of the street.
Telephone operator: The line is busy. Number, please.
Mervin Q. Milgrim: Alexander 2222!
Telephone operator: I can't hear you.
Mervin Q. Milgrim: Alexander 2222!
Telephone operator: Louder, please.
Mervin Q. Milgrim: If I talk any louder, I won't have to call them! They'll hear me!
Telephone operator: I'm sorry, sir, but you are all wet.
Mervin Q. Milgrim: Who's all wet? I'm all wet? Hold the line! Hold the line!
[He picks up spritzer bottle and sprays it into the phone. The spritzer comes out on the other end of the phone line, all over the operator]

Col. J.R. Andrews: Mr. Turner, may I remind you that I have a contact for your services, and I intend to exercise it.
Jimmy Turner: You'll get plenty of exercise trying to find me.

Chick Larkin: [talking about Juliet Collins] She's only got a couple of buck teeth.
Mervin Q. Milgrim: Why do I care what she paid for them?

Mervin Q. Milgrim: I don't mind getting shot; I don't mind getting stabbed; but this here guy, insulted me!
[starts record playing]
Mervin Q. Milgrim: What was that crack about halitosis?
Voice on record: What are you going to do about it?

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