W.C. Fields credited as playing...
Pa Snavely
- [repeated line]
- Pa Snavely: And it ain't a fit night out for man or beast.
- [a gust of wind blows a blast of snow into his face]
- Ma Snavely: He wants more money and if he don't get it, he'll take our malamutes.
- Pa Snavely: He won't take old Balto, my lead dog.
- Ma Snavely: Why not, Pa?
- Pa Snavely: 'Cause I et him.
- Ma Snavely: You *et* him?
- Pa Snavely: He was mighty good with mustard.
- Pa Snavely: My Uncle Ichabod said, speakin' of the city, "It ain't no place for women gals, but pretty men go thar."
- Pa Snavely: [pulls out a "dulcimer" from a chest] You won't consider me rude if I play with my mitts on, will you?
- Officer Posthlewhistle: Not at all, Mr. Snavely, not at all.
- Pa Snavely: [singing] There was once a poor boy / And he left his country home / And he came to the city to look for work / He promised his ma and pa / He would lead a civilized life / And always shun the fatal curse of drink / Once in the city / He got a situation in a quarry / And there he made the acquaintance of some college students / He little thought they were demons / For they wore the best of clothes / But the clothes do not always make the gentleman / So they tempted him to drink / And they said he was a cow'rd / Until at last he took the fatal glass of beer / When he found what he'd done / He dashed the glass upon the floor / And he staggered through the door with delirium tremens / Once upon the sidewalk / He met a Salvation Army girl / And wickedly he broke her tambourine / All she said was, "Heaven bless you" / And placed a mark upon his brow / With a kick she'd learned before she had been saved / Now, as a moral to young men / Who come down to the city / Don't go 'round breaking people's tambourines.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: I feel so tired, I think I'll go to bed.
- Pa Snavely: Why don't you lie down and take a little rest first, Chester?
- Pa Snavely: [to a Canadian Mountie who just walked in from a blizzard covered with snow] Is it still snowing?
- Officer Posthlewhistle: I don't know. To tell you the truth, I never looked.
- [first lines]
- Pa Snavely: [knock at the door] Who's thar?
- Officer Posthlewhistle: Officer Posthlewhistle of the the Canadian Mounted.
- Indian Chief: How, Mr. Snavely.
- Pa Snavely: How, Chief.
- Second Indian Chief: How.
- Pa Snavely: And how. Vamoose!
- Pa Snavely: Welcome home, Chester.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Thank ya, Pa.
- Pa Snavely: But I don't suppose we'll have him with us long. Once the city, gets into a ba-hoy's sy-histem, he looses h-his a-hankerin', for the ca-huntry.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Well, good night, Pa.
- Pa Snavely: Good night, Chester.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Good night, Ma.
- Ma Snavely: Good night, Chester.
- Pa Snavely: Sleep well, Chester.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Thank you, Pa. You too.
- Pa Snavely: Thank you, Chester.
- Ma Snavely: Sleep well, Chester.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Thank you, Ma. You sleep well.
- Pa Snavely: Don't forget to open the window a bit, Chester.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Don't forget to open yours a bit, Pa.
- Pa Snavely: I won't Chester.
- Ma Snavely: Yes, don't forget to open your window a bit, Chester.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Put yours up a bit too, Ma.
- Pa Snavely: Good night, Chester.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Good night, Pa.
- Ma Snavely: Good night, Chester.
- Pa Snavely: Good night.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Good night, Pa.
- Ma Snavely: Good night.
- Chester Snavely - Their Son: Good night.
- Pa Snavely: Good night! Chester.