- [last lines]
- Oscar Piper: ...A fella could come up and see ya some time couldn't he?
- Hildegarde Withers: Why, Oscar Piper!
- [Oscar laughs]
- Hildegarde Withers: Why, you dreadful man! You get out of here. Go on, get out!
- [He leaves the diner, laughing heartily, as Hildegarde smoothes her ruffled feathers]
- Hildegarde Withers: Insulted at my age!
- Bearded Diner: Better late than never, sister.
- Hildegarde Withers: [haughtily] That will do.
- Hildegarde Withers: [to Stevens] Unfortunately the police, although they may be fools, they're not sentimental fools.
- Oscar Piper: I got to admit, you can take it.
- Hildegarde Withers: Well, don't forget, when necessary I can dish it out, too.
- Oscar Piper: I wish you'd let me forget it.
- Oscar Piper: I oughta be a detective in the movies.
- Hildegarde Withers: You could do all the acting, and the author could solve the crime.
- Addison 'Ad' Stevens: Well, you might as well know it. We're going to be married.
- Hildegarde Withers: Well! Those who try it once always try it again. Must be something in it.
- Oscar Piper: You were the only one besides Schweitzer who knew she had the lottery ticket. You planned the whole thing.
- Jane Davis: I didn't! I tell you, I didn't!
- Oscar Piper: You murdered your best friend for a mere Sweepstakes prize.
- Hildegarde Withers: A mere Sweepstakes prize of $50,000. Ha! I'd murder some people I know for 50 cents.
- Oscar Piper: Ah, the French secret police are now wit' us. I gave orders for the teachers to be here at 9. It's now 10.
- Hildegarde Withers: Ten AFTER ten, Inspector.
- Oscar Piper: Something important kept you, I suppose.
- Hildegarde Withers: Just the solution of the murder, that's all.
- Oscar Piper: Oh, that's fine. Everybody all rounded up now, I take it?
- Hildegarde Withers: Well, I haven't rounded up a lot of helpless women for browbeating, anyway.
- Oscar Piper: I never met a helpless woman in my life. Siddown.
- Detective Smiley North: Whatta yuh think we found in the cellar?
- Oscar Piper: [Annoyed] Oh, now it's riddles!
- Detective Smiley North: [Reporting on the cellar] No body, but someone's been diggin' a grave.
- Oscar Piper: People don't dig graves just for the fun of it. Come on, Hildegard!
- Hildegarde Withers: [after a staggering Otto bumps into her] Otto Schweitzer, watch where you're going!
- Hildegarde Withers: [He coughs right into her face and she covers hers up] Ooohhh...
- Hildegarde Withers: [after a pause she smells his breath] The only excuse I can find for you is...
- Hildegarde Withers: [She sniffs him] ... seems to be bonded stuff.
- Oscar Piper: I'm gonna take this building apart brick by brick until I find the man that did that!
- Hildegarde Withers: Or the woman...
- Oscar Piper: Or the woman! Ain't let a cop killer get away in this town in twenty years!
- Hildegarde Withers: Cop killer! I suppose one dead schoolteacher more or less doesn't count.
- Oscar Piper: I don't count my corpses until I come to 'em!
- Oscar Piper: We caught him quicker than I thought.
- Hildegarde Withers: Almost anything can be done quicker than you think of.
- Hildegarde Withers: That settles it!
- Oscar Piper: Settles what?
- Hildegarde Withers: I'm going to search the cellar.
- Oscar Piper: You're not going into the cellar alone.
- Hildegarde Withers: That's something you'll have to decide for yourself, Oscar.
- Oscar Piper: This case is open and shut.
- Hildegarde Withers: Open and shut?
- Oscar Piper: Sure! The guy's a moron.
- Hildegarde Withers: You should get him on the force.
- Oscar Piper: [to Smiley about Otto] Book him for disorderly conduct or inciting to riot. Isn't so long as you get him in a cell.
- Hildegarde Withers: How are you going to find him in a cell if you couldn't find him in the cellar?
- Detective Smiley North: [to Jane] Hey, how about ditchin' the boyfriend and having a bowl of chop suey with me later.
- Detective Donahue: [Noticing Dr. Von Immen and Hildegarde talking in his hospital room] Hey, what are those two talkin' about, for the love of Mike?
- Oscar Piper: Whatta you care? You're lucky they're not both in bed with yuh.
- Hildegarde Withers: [Discussing Otto] Smells like my Uncle Henry used to smell when my mother wouldn't let me kiss him good-night.
- Taxi Driver: Ain't ya getting careless, lady? You gave me a dime too much.
- Hildegarde Withers: A dime's a dime, young man. Remember, you're a taxi driver, not a gigolo.