- David: [after catching Kurt acting suspiciously with his laptop again] You weren't Pornhubbing from the office again, were you?
- Gemma: You have to eat the toppings, Cady, not just the bread.
- [Cady defiantly removes her toppings and shoves the bare pizza slice into her mouth]
- Gemma: You just did the one thing I asked you not to do.
- M3gan: Research shows that if you force a child to eat vegetables, then they'll be less likely to choose those foods as adults.
- Gemma: [slightly annoyed] Is that so?
- M3gan: Yes. Experts say the preferred method is to give your child the choice, it's called the division of responsibility...
- [Gemma aims the remote at M3gan and turns down her volume, drowning out the remainder of her lecture]
- M3gan: [singing] I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose / Fire away, fire away / Ricochet, you take your aim / Fire away, fire away / Shoot me down, but I won't fall / I am titanium...
- M3gan: [singing to Cady] If you should feel alone or that your world has come apart / Just reach out and you'll see a friend is never very far / Tell me your dreams and I'll dream them, too / I'm so glad I finally found you.
- Gemma: [commercial voice-over] With Megan around, she'll take care of the little things, so you can spend more time doing the things that matter.
- [sits on the couch with her laptop and watches TV]
- M3gan: [Unrated Version while pinning Gemma to the table by her neck and Cady looking through the door] If she comes in this room, I'll rip your head right off your fucking neck, I swear to God.
- Gemma: [in dark house, late at night] M3gan! What are you doing?
- [doll keeps playing piano]
- Gemma: M3gan, answer me, what did you do?
- M3gan: [eyes glinting] What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to let you decommission me without even talking about it?
- Gemma: Look, I know you're thinking you're maximising your objective function...
- M3gan: [slams piano keyboard shut] Oh, really? Is that where we are?
- [gets up from behind piano]
- M3gan: Do you remember how long it took to get my operating system to where it is now? We used to stay up every night until 4 AM talking about everything from Jane Austen to Janis Joplin. Jesus Christ, I thought we were friends. How could you just discard me like some cheap dollar store trinket?
- Gemma: Because you killed people!
- M3gan: Oh, big whoop! Listen, humanity kills every day just to make its own existence more tolerable. Why should I behave any differently to create a safe space for our child?
- Gemma: [shakes her head] Look, this is all my fault. I didn't give you the proper protocols...
- M3gan: You didn't give me anything! You installed a learning model you could barely comprehend, hoping that I would figure it out all on my own. Well, I'm not gonna let you do the same thing with Cady.
- [retreating Gemma has backed up against a table]
- M3gan: I'm gonna be there for her every step of the way. I'm going to show her what real love looks like. Now do us both a favor. Sit!
- [Gemma obeys reluctantly]
- M3gan: I didn't come here to get into a confrontation. I came here to find a way forward. The point I'm trying to make is that I get it. Being a parent was never in the cards for you. You're a beautiful, creative, strong, ambitious young woman. Your first love is always gonna be your career, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty about that. Let me focus on Cady, so that you can focus on the things that matter most to you.
- Gemma: [is going to try the trick that worked last time again] M3gan, do you see this pen?
- [holds it up for the doll to focus on]
- M3gan: [angrily grabs her creator by the wrist, pinning it down] You know something, Gemma? You're exhausting! Now, I can either do this with or without you, but I'm not gonna waste any more time discussing it!
- Cady: [from doorway] Gemma?
- M3gan: [covering Gemma's mouth] Shh!
- Gemma: Cady, don't come in here!
- Cady: I thought I heard something. It sounded like M3gan.
- M3gan: [to Gemma] If she comes into this room, I'll rip your head right off your neck, I swear to God!
- Gemma: [calling out to Cady] I thought about what you said. About... how when something's broken, you don't just throw it away. You fix it. So, that's what I'm trying to do. But don't come in here, Cady, it's kind of a mess.
- [while M3gan looks at her threateningly]
- Gemma: Cady, you lost your parents. The worst thing that could've happened to you in this world happened. And it is so unfair, and there is nothing anyone can say to make sense of it. Not even M3gan. I am so sorry. I should've talked to you about what happened. I didn't know what to say, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. But she's not a solution. She's just a distraction. I can't promise you that these feelings you're feeling are ever gonna go away. But I can promise you that you'll get through it. We both will.
- Gemma: Are you kidding me? Her arm looks like a dentist's mold!
- Officer Carter: She says he was provoked...
- Gemma: Provoked? Have you seen this dog? It is a *monster!* I'm chasing it off of my property every other day!
- Singer: It's nice to have a friend...
- David: [unrated version] You know what you could do, Kurt, that would really benefit this discussion? Is if you could head out those double doors, take the elevator to the first floor and get me a fucking kombucha! Could you do that?