User reviews

This is a super campy film and Rebecca Romijn really added to that camp, her costumes alone!!

I saw other people's reviews and they say that they found the start great and then it went down hill but I feel the opposite.

During the first 20 i was thinking this was a really cheap student film with an unfunny script but then as soon as Rebecca Romijn shown up I started to appreciate it more.

The script is kinda of wonky too, not so much the dialogue but more like unfinished plots or just completely dropped plots.

It's quite gory but in a campy way so I don't think people would mind.

So even though at times it can feel student-y and definitely more so at the start, I would watch it.

Satanic panic had its moments. Few pretty funny/well made/well acted, and so many absolutely cringey bad or boring to death. Clearly the movie got worse the longer it went.

One thing I wonder: where did the flying vulva demon disappear and why didn't it come back?

Not sure if this was suppose to be a satire, comedy or horror, but nevertheless the film kept me entertained. All the characters in this were wacky and fun. Some of the gore effects were pretty cool too. It also has Ruby Modine in it from both of the happy death day films. This is just one of those movies to go in blind and have fun with. These bumbling satanists in the film rule, plus the pizza delivery girl sticks it to them!! Definitely a crazy and fun film

2019 Oak Cliff Film Festival Greetings again from the darkness. Hail Satan! This is definitely the first screening I've ever been to where those are the words the director used to introduce her film. Director Chelsea Stardust is quite passionate about her film, and most of the audience shared in her enthusiasm after experiencing this crazy, wild ride of pizza, secret devil-worshipping societies, virgin sacrifices, campy blood-splattering gore, and upper class hobbies.

Written by noted horror writer Grady Hendrix and Ted Geoghegan, the film introduces us to Samantha (an all-in Hayley Griffith). She's a twenty-something who dreams of Australia, and somehow thinks taking a job delivering pizzas will get her there. She's in such dire straits that she doesn't have the 5 bucks she needs for gas in her Vespa, plus her co-workers stick the new girl with the "no tip" deliveries. I assume there really are classless people who stiff delivery folks, and it's easy to understand why Hayley bangs on the door of a Park Cities mansion after getting the shaft on a 5 pizza delivery.

It's that knock that transforms Samantha's bad job into a matter of life and death. Rather than interrupting a high society neighborhood tea, she stumbles into a Satanic cult led by Danica (Rebecca Romijn, X-MEN). And guess what? It's virgin sacrifice night! And guess who qualifies? That's right ... it's Samantha, our no-tip pizza delivery gal. After a sequence featuring Danica's husband (Romijn's real life husband Jerry O'Connell) and one of the more gory and impressive practical effects of the film, Samantha manages to escape the hell-house mansion.

Soon she has teamed up with Judi (Ruby Modine), who just happens to be Danica's daughter. Judi's inside knowledge proves quite helpful in finding loopholes for temporary reprieves, although the devil-worshippers stay focused on offering Samantha as their virgin sacrifice to Baphomet. While all of this is happening, there is a power struggle within the coven between Danica and Gypsy (a wild-eyed Arden Myrin), adding one more wheels-off element to this carnival of comedy-horror.

Clearly this is campy, but given the low budget constraints, the film's effects work very well, and Ms. Romijn, Ms. Griffith and Ms. Modine (Matthew's daughter) are quite effective in their roles. It's curious just how incredibly naïve Samantha is for her age, but this movie isn't really about thinking and analyzing. Instead, sit back and enjoy the wildest ride you are likely to get from a Vespa-driving pizza delivery person (and please tip these folks!)

Occult themes, practical FX, retro synth soundtrack... Of course I was looking forward to "Satanic Panic". However, I was ready for just a slightly more powerful punch.

Make no mistake, it's an entertaining horror comedy, with the horror parts, in the sum, being better than the comedy bits. Can't promise a laugh-out-loud moment, because for me there wasn't one. The funniest bits are in the 1st half of the movie. A lot of "Satanic Panic" resembles old-school, starting with, of course, Practical FX (quite a lot of gore & it's good), that retro-type synthwave original score, the very theme of witches and covens, and ending with the poster. So you know, lovers of all this will be more or less happy - I was. The characters are simple and very much clicheic, as is the plot, even though it's going to hide that to the very end at which moment a little voice in your head might say "Well I guess that's that". My point is, I was craving for a climax that would top the prior crazy moments in this flick. No matter the characters, the actors and their performances were quite fine. And fun. Probably a little more fun for horror buffs, because there are some familiar faces. On a side note, in the end I was a little disappointed with the main character, I feel like there could've been more to her story. As for the visuals, the cinematography was fairly simple, saturated, colorful, low-budget but creative. The gore was great though, classic, proven to be great kind of stuff. Gotta love the gore.

Let's put it this way - if I dissect "Satanic Panic" into bits and pieces, there's a lot of flawed ones, but overall it's a great, fun, no-brakes kind of entertainment for anyone who's into horror enough. My rating: 6/10.

I wasn't really sure what I was getting myself into when I sat down to watch the 2019 movie "Satanic Panic" from director Chelsea Stardust. I had sort of expected a horror comedy.

And sure, the movie is labeled as a horror comedy, but it utterly failed on both accounts. I wasn't the least bit amused with the events taking place on the screen throughout the movie as the insanely mundane and generic storyline unfurled. It was just atrocious how generic and stereotypical everything in this movie turned out to be.

"Satanic Panic" offers nothing new to the horror genre, and it turned out to be a dead fish in the water sort of movie. The writers sat out to accomplish a heap of things with the storyline, but it wasn't a fulfilling experience to watch on the screen.

The acting in the movie was adequate, but the actors and actresses could do nothing to manage to salvage this train wreck that was fast sliding down a very steep hill.

It should be said that the special effects department actually managed to do a fair job with the effects, both practical and CGI. So that worked well enough in favor of the movie. But sadly it just couldn't do much to salvage everything else that was bad - which was the majority of the movie.

If you enjoy horror comedies, then there are far, far better choices readily available. I am rating "Satanic Panic" a meager three out of ten stars, because it was a boring movie and it failed to be horror and it failed to be comedy.

Throwback 80's b-movie horror at its finest. Lots o blood and lots o fun.

Was expecting way more, considering 'Fangoria' put there name to this movie, unfortunately it was yet another modern day time waster. Bad script writing, stupid character decisions, bad acting & some horrendous dialogue, which apparently is supposed to be funny.

Comedy and horror, it's always a delicate genre with not alot of good movies. Satanic Panic is just under the good movies in this genre, it's worth watching once but I don't need to watch it again in the future. The horror parts were actually the funniest parts to me, with a decent amount of well done but funny gore. The cast wasn't bad either, no future Oscar winners here but not cringing to watch either. The title for this movie resumes it all, it's just a bit of fun and horror.

Im a huge fan of horror movies and slashers. This one is boring. There is no story line, just a pizza deliver girl in the middle of a weird satanic ritual. This movie does no add anything new to the genre, the killings are dumb and the acting pretty bad. Sometimes it looks like a high school play. So, make yourself a favor, and do not ask a pizza here.

The amount of creativity Stardust put into this film was pretty high up there. Actors were a little sub-par, but not all were awkward. Enjoyed this film quite a bit since there was some effort put forth in actually making a quality movie. You know? One that you could actually sit through and even eat popcorn.

For the first 30 minutes of Satanic Panic, I was all in. The characters were interesting, the story was plausible in its own wacky way, and the pacing was pretty good, supplying both some creeps and laughs along the way. Somewhere by the middle of the movie, I found myself scratching my head as things just happen for no reason with very little explanation at all. While some of these things are pretty cool (trees in the forest spouting arms and grabbing people like something out of Disney's Snow White), most of them come out nowhere and makes it seem as if the writers got bored and started throwing everything in they could think of just to keep things interesting.

This isn't to say that Satanic Panic is a bad movie. Even in its most confusing and bizarre moments, it has enough energy and spark for 15 other indie horror films.

At best, camp. So so film without much to redeem it. Over the top in a TV sense, but not much more. If they were trying for laughs, they failed. Been done before and better.

Personally,I enjoyed this movie a lot!It had its share of gore and laughs,with smart references to other horror movies,led by a nice cast with some solid acting. What I didn't like that much to be honest though,was the ending.The last few minutes spoiled it for me,and hence the 6 and not an even higher grade.

Upon starting this, I was pretty much in agreement with myself it was gonna be absolute rubbish! I was pleasantly surprised! The characters are fun and the story is exciting. I'm really glad I stumbled across this film.

In my opinion it has a fairly fun, light hearted approach to something much darker, there in lies the comedy. Some of the scenes are insane and the lead actors fit their parts well.

It's certainly something different and a fine low budget Horror-Com! Better than most others!

Not the running time in any sense, but this seems like it could have so much more. Or could have been more and could have been even more fun. Even so there is a lot of good ingredients in this, beginning with Rebecca Romijin. She really cherishes in her role as is her on screen husband (whom you may know from other stuff) ... also there will be bunnies (if you are into them).

But don't let the bunnies distract you (or maybe they will but there is a long way to go for them to appear), there are a lot of things happening to our main character, things that she might not deserve, but that she has to endure ... how will she cope? You'll have to watch to find out

Poor directing, excruciating acting, absent humor and sad realization. When I think of all the new (and good) productions struggling to be discovered, I am amazed that this waste of desperate talents is allowed to be produced..... These statements are my own opinion. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY

"Satanic Panic" is a pleasantly deranged horror comedy, but - in the end - it suffers slightly from the 'not-quite-crazy-enough' syndrome. It's simple, really... If you are going over-the-top, you better do it right. Several isolated moments, like the rotating drill-device used by the babysitters or Jerry O'Connell's brief appearance as wannabe virgin-savior, are gloriously insane but the overall wholesome isn't epic; - or at least not epic enough.

That said, however, should you be looking for a fun and gory new horror flick to relax yourself and grant your brain functions some well-deserved time off, "Satanic Panic" is definitely an apt choice! It's a kind of random and pointless crossover between "Desperate Housewives" and "Rosemary's Baby", with women (men as well but they have nothing to say) from a fancy and upper-class neighborhood indulging in sick and twisted satanic rites to evoke the rebirth of a nasty demon named Baphomet. The coven, led by the furious shrew Danica Ross, needs a virgin to sacrifice (they always do) so when rookie pizza delivery girl Sam comes busting in during the ceremony to claim her tip, she pretty much offers herself on a golden plate.

This a Fangoria production, so you may expect gooey special effects, loads of tongue-in-cheek humor, and some familiar faces in atypical roles. It's undoubtedly Rebecca Romijn's best role in years and, maybe it's because I'm getting older myself, but she looks even more stunning now than when she did Brian De Palma's "Femme Fatale". Unknown lead actress Hayley Griffith is also really great, and so are Ruby Modine (Matthew's daughter), Arden Myrin, and Jordan Ladd.

So if you're looking for a comedy horror to watch then let me inform you that there's neither comedy or horror contained in this film. What you do get is an okay story held together with good acting and average directing, though well-paced to keep the action going and keep the audience from being too bored.

With a title like Satanic Panic, I had to give this a look-see. Who knows it might have been brilliant. Even the fact that Fangoria had gotten involved in the project was a big draw. It didn't take long for me to start groaning in despair though.

The worst thing about this film is the immature humour. Evidently shouting rude slang about sexual organs is riotous... or being a completely weird macho arsehole is a laugh-riot. Well, if they'd been handled correctly they might have been. But all I wanted to do was slap the idiots because that's how they came across - idiotic.

The best comedy scene in the film is when Kim escapes the Satanists and runs into their twisted evil offspring. There's a little wordplay, a little situation comedy, and a lot of slapstick - though all of this has dark overtones it's still fun to watch and made me giggle (the first and only time).

The writers, Ted Geoghegan and Grady Hendrix, should have dropped the comedic element and focused and the occult and horror side of things. This is already pretty strong, what with spells being cast, daemons being summoned, and virgins being impregnated... This could have been a true horror epic of our time - but they tried to be too clever.

Another thing that needed a lot of attention is the directing. Chelsea Stardust doesn't live up to her precocious name. On the whole, her directing is average. The opening sequence has the feel of a Lost Tape film, which is always a bad thing for me because the majority of these films are rubbish and annoying. So she already strikes against her before we started the story. Luckily enough, for me, she changed to the third-person style, though there was a lot of sloppy shaky camera work. Especially apparent in crowded scenes as the cameraman tries to get through the melee. Doesn't anybody use dollies anymore - a nice easy glide works wonders in a lot of scenes?

But her biggest shortcoming is the lack of atmosphere. This could have been down to the writing. If they were aiming for a more comedic movie then ambience may not have been what they were wanting. However, there are a lot of scenes where a darker atmosphere would have ramped up the power of the film. When Judi Ross is vomiting worms and earth. When the macho arsehole gets to meet his maker... and his entrails. When Baphomet enters the garden party. These are the major scenes that needed to be darker and broodier, but there are many lesser scenes also. This could have even helped with the comedic side of the story. As comedy always works better when it walks hand-in-hand with tragedy. The one thing Stardust excels at is pacing. The film jogs and sprints at all the right times and helps to keep the audience engaged and bums firmly seated.

Now the cast is superb in their roles and their portrays. I have to say though that it was difficult to make out Rebecca Romijn under the caked-on make-up. Her face must have been a few inches thicker. That said, she plays the perfect domineering leader, Danica Ross, who takes no crap and knows how to control her disciples. Jerry O'Connell is at his best womanising sleaziness as her husband Samuel. It's a shame that he has such a small part... Ruby Modine is delicious as their cunning and conniving daughter Judi. Even when she's forced to team up with our heroine your not sure what side she's on. Then we have our heroine, Samantha Craft, played by Hayley Griffith. Griffith does a good job with the naivety of the character, but it's this naiveness which causes me a problem. How does anyone be this innocent and gullible today? And the fact that she's supposed to be a virgin is farfetched... are things that different in America or are they trying to hold on to ideals of the past? Either way, it damages the character and the story since it's a major element to the plot.

At the end of the day, you have a movie trying too hard and missing the target. The acting is enjoyable and the story would be if treated better. But that's not enough to recommend the film. Is it worth watching on a cold wet day when there's nothing else to watch? At a push maybe, and then only if you're interested in acting. This is a real shame. As I said at the beginning of the review, this could have been an epic horror film.

Feel free to pop on over and check my Absolute Horror list come chart to see where this movie placed or to choose something for your viewing pleasure - you are more than welcome...

This is a winner! We really enjoyed it. It's the perfect comedy horror! Great script great acting lots of fun. We were blown away. Check it out ASAP!!!

This was a film that I was hearing a lot about through podcasts. Some people got the chance to check this out during its festival run and I know the director, Chelsea Stardust, went on a podcast to be interviewed as well. I also follow the actress Hayley Griffith on social media, which I happen to find her completely adorable, so that peaked my interest more. The synopsis here is a pizza delivery girl at the end of her financial rope has to fight for her life, and her tips, when her last order of the night turns out to be high society Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice.

We start this off getting to know the area that will be the main location of the film. We can see this is a rich area and coming up to a door we get a POV shot. This leads us to a room where Judi Ross (Ruby Modine) is having sex with a guy. She is confronted and we know that it is her mother and she is not happy with her daughter.

It then takes us to our star, Samantha 'Sam' Craft (Griffith). She is working as a pizza delivery driver, but we see that it isn't going well. She needs money and she begged Duncan Havermyer (AJ Bowen) for a job. He sees it a bit differently than she did. Through a montage, it isn't going well for her. Her last five dollars are taken by Mr. Styles (Skeeta Jenkins), her boss. They take an order at the pizza shop and it is to an area that is out of their range, the neighborhood we saw earlier.

A man answers the door and Sam drops off the order. When he fills out the slip, she sees that the 100 dollar order has no tip. When her scooter won't start, she goes back to pound on the door. She goes inside and it isn't want she was expecting. Sam is a bit odd and doesn't catch on a first though. This is actually a Satanic cult ran by Danica Ross (Rebecca Romijn). It then becomes a fight for Sam's life as she tries to escape them and their black magic as they try to summon Baphomet.

I should lead off that I personally felt this was a pretty fun film. I'm a big fan of movies with cults. The only drawback I would give for that here though is this definitely feels like watered down version for a more mainstream audience. I don't necessarily see that as an issue though. This definitely could be a gateway film for a younger audience to start checking out some of the more classic ones for sure.

The writing here was really solid if I'm going to be honest. We get some things that are introduced early in the film that come back later and make more sense to the overall story. Examples here without spoiling anything is a song Sam sings and shows her coworkers has a much deeper meaning, she gets duped into helping a frat guy who is also a Sam into helping with a couch and his reasoning is outrageous. This second one for sure has a major callback. It is things like this that I can appreciate.

I also really enjoy the care of detail that they put into the ritual and cult aspects to the movie. Baphomet is definitely a character I've heard of. This one introduces Samaziel, which I haven't been able to find being a real character in Christian or Satanic Mythology. The amount of thought they put into the spells and the effects of them as well.

What really hurts this film for me is that it is a comedy. I didn't necessarily find it that was overly funny though. A lot of it didn't land with me. I will admit there were times though that it got me to chuckle. It doesn't come off though like a true comedy, as there are quite a bit of horrific things that happen here.

Something that I did have an issue with was the pacing. I don't want to come out and say that I was bored as that's not the case. I do feel that the film does lose it way a bit at times and I did lose interest. I feel that the problem is the effects in this film are good and I wanted to see more of that. There's a lot of Sam hiding and trying to survive so it hurt the tension a bit for me.

Since I started covering them, like I said the effects were really good. For the most part they looked to be done practically. We get some wounds that looked real and blood did as well. We also get some interesting creature effects for demons here. The film is also shot very well and I'm assuming there were some CGI, but it never took me out and looked real enough.

The cast for this is quite interesting. Romijn is still attractive and I thought she was solid as the main villain here. Arden Myrin is also good as the second in command who is vying to be in charge. Griffith as I said earlier is adorable. Her awkwardness really worked for me and I like the fight that she has in her. The more we learn about her character, the more things make sense. Modine is solid. Glad to see Bowen, Jordan Ladd, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Jerry O'Connell and Jenkins among others. Many of them play cultists which worked for me as well.

The last thing to cover would be the soundtrack for the film. I think that it definitely fit for what they needed. Griffith has a song that she sings here which is cheesy, but when you learn more about it. It's heartfelt. This isn't a score I would revisit a lot, but it definitely helped to set the mood of the scenes and build tension.

Now with that said, this movie has some really good things that I dug. I think we get some good writing here for sure. The aspect of the cult and being Satanists is good. I think that the acting really helps to bring this to life with the effects being really good as well. This being a comedy does hurt it slightly for me, especially since the film does kind of lose its way in the second act. The ending really worked for me though. There is a slight social commentary as well that rich people stay that way with the power of Satan, which is kind of a thought process for those that take advantage of others around them in real life. With that said though, this film is above average and still pretty fun.

How many of us will see a familiar name appearing in a movie and think, "Ok, I'll give it a watch!". I'm thoroughly disappointed with this movie. Its B material at best. The acting and cinematography is marginal. The special effects are almost something out of an Ed Wood movie. Jerry and Rebecca could do way better and have! What the hell, guys, did you owe someone a favor? Geez!