She Walks the Woods

I am ashamed I stayed to the end with this one. Grown men acting like the usual teens in slasher movies should have stopped me going further. It is one of those films where you end up 'slacked jawed' at the shear awfulness of the WHOLE production. Two idiot brothers who think they're funny (to themselves) but are just loud and obnoxious and EXTREMELY untalented, wrote and produced and gave themselves 'starring' roles in this travesty. BORING BORING BORING. No tension, no fear and nothing to see here. Don't be fooled into wasting your time. I have no doubt that friends and family only, gave this mess the high scores on here. They should be ashamed of themselves, I am for watching this nonsense!!

Ever since blair witch, I've loved found footage stuff. When done right it came be super effective. There's tons of very bad ones out there. This is one of the better ones. the reality/webseries aspect Reminds me a bit of Wrong Turn 2 which I love. The acting is hit and miss, but nothing takes you out of it. Had some genuinely suspenseful moments. If you like horror and found footage give it a go.

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Yet again, we have a film that seems to only have positive reviews for it. I just watched it , and can categorically state that anything over two stars for this POS is hyperbole.

This is no Blair Witch. It's not even a decent found footage film. It's 90% padding, where people with dismal acting talent try and ad-lib a set-up that's bereft of any meaningful characterisation, exposition, etc. It's just filler, nothing more. It's a tropes' trope.

There's no payoff worthy of staying awake for. If you make it to the end without skipping, I applaud you. If you *do* watch it all through, you may notice the illogic, like how seemingly terrified people fighting for their lives suddenly branch into scripted comedy, duelling with barbed quips that someone obviously thought was hilarious when writing it. (At that point I preferred the dreadful ad-lib.) Or like how a creature that is intimately aware of the territory hasn't already hunted down the family who own a holiday home there. Or...THAT ending. Oh geeze. Someone thought it was a good twist? Well, y'see, when telling a story, you can make ANY kind of twist you want. You can make it reveal that it's all a dream, or that everyone is made of jelly. Doesn't make it good, or proffer any advancement of quality to the work. But what am I saying? The people who made this have no concept of quality. It's a by-the-numbers, my-first-movie/script/acting job, and it reeks of its' own dismal ineptitude.

AVOID!!

I want to be fair and say that I actually liked the monster design, considering this couldn't have had much of a budget.

Sadly, there is another hour and a half of movie surrounding said monster which I was not as fond of. The cast acts like they're graduating middle school rather than fully grown adults-- good Lord, the way they talk about the female lead almost made me quit in the first ten minutes. There's little attempts at building suspense, other than the stock monster sound effects that were already overused a decade ago.

It's rough, but not in the fun, promising way where you can see the film maker's ideas shining through. The quintessential uninspired found footage movie to be dumped on streaming services and then forgotten about.

The rating is way too high on this film, this is what I might call a 3.8. The first hour is filled with pointless footage that just keeps going. The acting is poor and these "Expert Survivalist" just are not very convincing. Felt like I wasted my time watching this. I should have taken a clue from the first couple min in that this would be poor.