Itsy Bitsy

I'm not a horror fan. If I were I'd probably give this movie a seven. Good special effects. I was especially satisfied with the acting of the children. As with many such movies there are implausibles that go against known science but are necessary for the movie to work. I won't mention what they are as to not give anything away. Not as good as "Arachnophobia" but worth a view.

Let me start by saying that, based on the trailer and poster, I kind of thought this would be more of a tongue in cheek, icky spider killing romp. Instead, Itsy Bitsy feels like a spider slasher flick with a whole lot of family drama instead of teens scared in the woods. While it has its moments, the film suffers from simply not enough slashing. There's hints, glimpses, quick cuts, and teases, but there just isn't enough spider slashing happening here. The audience knows what is eventually coming, and that's largely why we're watching: we want to see this gross, huge spider poison and spider web cocoon people to death!

Unfortunately it's a bit of a slog sitting through the family drama that makes up a large portion of the film (almost all of it). That and the ancient mythology behind the spider's existence just feels boring. Itsy Bitsy is well made with decent performances. But when you see a giant spider in act one, you're really just waiting to see it go off in act three. And instead of a bang, Itsy Bitsy just shoots blanks.

ITSY BITSY begins with a tribal ritual, where a black, earthen jar / container is stolen by desperate men. The scene shifts to a mother (Elizabeth Roberts) and her two kids relocating to her new job in a new town. She will be providing in-home care for an elderly collector of tribal artifacts (Bruce Davison- WILLARD), who just happens to have received said container.

As more is learned about the sacred pottery, it becomes clear that something terrible is brewing. When it is broken, the horror is unleashed.

Two things can be said up front: #1- Arachnophobes will utterly hate this movie! #2- Monster / practical effects fans will absolutely love it!

The complaints about the "family drama" aspect of the movie are unfounded. Any such drama is just a necessary part of the overall story, unless we only want a pointless series of jump scares. The movie also has its own mythology, explaining the significance of the creature. A solid monster movie with some creepy moments.

Denise Crosby co-stars as Sheriff Jane Dunne...

The title suggests a kid's story, but 'Itsy Bitsy' is definitely not for kids, as it is bound to give them nightmares.

There really hasn't been a good spider movie since 'Arachnophobia' way back in 1990 and I guess - for now - this will have to suffice as the next best spider movie. You can see the director and crew tried really hard and you have to commend them for that.

The script is a bit weak and the film can be used as a handbook for cliches. The acting wasn't the most convincing, but I thought Elizabeth Roberts wasn't bad as a mother suffering from post traumatic stress after the death of her youngest child. She actually got better as the movie progressed and her role became more demanding. The little girl (played by Chloe Perrin) was unfortunately not good at all.

If you allow yourself not to be too critical - and look beyond all the cliches and flaws - you will find this an enjoyable enough watch. Some of the creature effects were very good. The film is a bit slow moving with not much happening apart from family conflict, and is maybe more of a drama with horror elements than a horror film.

Yes, the title was meant to say that. This movie is hokey, cheesy, unoriginal and kinda dumb. But, I was entertained and watched the entire film...and didn't get bored. That says something right?

The story is almost storybook ripoff of Arachnophobia but without the comedic element. And there's really only one spider, I think, except babies and disgusting egg sacks. Instead, they introduce a spider who's supposed to be an ancient deity. Again kinda dumb. With all this power and its ability to survive for millennia, it's pretty cool this one lady gives it a run for its money.

Acting is not anything to write home about and the dialogue was stupid. I wish I felt the makers didn't take making this so seriously. But I'm pretty sure they did.

That being said, if you're good with a mindless film you don't care to think about afterwards (except that the mom from Pet Sematary was in it), then give it a shot.