Dracula Reborn

This is actually the worst film I have ever seen. 24 mins in, boring, waited till 48 mins still nothing but bad acting and terrible cinematography. Fast forwarded to 1hr 20 no better. Just a really bad impersonation of a vampire dry humping unassuming victims. The read up and cover looked OK so for a few quid thought I try it. I don't think these poor actors will ever work again after this. I don't think the syfy Chanel would even air this nonsense. I have thrown mine in the bin but actually feel like sending back to Attila 'whats his name' (writer and director) for a full refund for clearly lying about the content and the hash job he calls a film..... Utter utter garbage.

I wish I could tell you ANYTHING about the context of the movie. After spending less than ten minutes "watching" this title, all I came away with is that their food catering services added glue to the "Oatmeal Only" menu, and there was no water or toothbrushes on set. And someone stole that poor girl's eyebrows. Also, there may have been marbles in the oatmeal, I am not sure either way. Or perhaps it was dubbed by the Hamburglar.

Seeing that the review was considered too short for submission, I will add additional text because I need to do my part in keeping people from renting or even accidentally watching this ....movie. I thought about adding a few lines of "Robble Robble" but am not sure how many people would actually get the Hamburglar reference, let alone know what his speech sounds like. That being said, you now have full understanding of what my viewing experience was like. Robble Robble.

Ok, trying to be objective - in all fairness it's not The Worst movie I've seen, but it's pretty bad. It is boring and unless you force yourself, you're going to have to fast forward through most of it. And if you do, you won't miss anything because it barely makes any sense, and it's super disjointed. It maybe could have been funny because it was so bad- the acting was bad, the script was bad...but it didn't seem like it was trying to be funny. It seemed like it was made by super newbies who were trying pretty hard. But it's just ridiculous.

Truthfully I would rather watch the movie Glitter with Mariah Carey on perpetual rerun while spikes are shoved under my fingernails than to ever watch this movie again. I seriously believe it to be the worst movie ever made. No plot, horrible cinematography, gross anorexic actresses, gratuitous gore and insane dialogue. I mean it. The worst. I tried to watch all of it, really I did. I kept thinking it had to get better because honestly there was no way possible for it to get worse. And yet it did. I had to check my to make sure my eyeballs weren't bleeding from the disaster on screen. The entire cast and crew should be stoned. Literally and figuratively.

I can only say, "take your hat off, because this got made and is playing on Amazon Prime." You've got to give it to anyone that can get their work to be seen. It was horrible, but a great lesson that says..."Don't give up..if you have money and a crew, you can get a movie made and shown." Dracula is rolling in pig soil after hearing of this mess.