The Broken Key

THE BROKEN KEY has an abysmaly bad reputation. It has an appalling score of 2,3 but still 416 ratings so, it will never make the Bottom 100 (the list of the worst rated and reviewed movies of all time that have at least 10,000 ratings). And, despite the poster features all the known names the lead is played by an unknown that has never made movies before and is known only in Italy (where I live) for having appeared in a trashy reality TV show that is followed by rotten-brained people. So why I saw it? Well, from time to time I love to find and watch movies with notoriously bad reputations. But this... it was too much, and according to most of the reviews I am one of the very few that had the guts of seeing it to the very end! Now I can discuss it.

It begins with very overlong credits where the italian names are put first, then we see the Pyramid of Giza and the on-screen text says 'Egypt, tomorrow' and we then move to Rome and it says 'Rome, 2033 AD'. We then see Hiram Abif (Franco Nero, the father of director Louis Nero) having a swim and then has problems (considering that Nero was 75 when he did this, it's no surprise) and has to be taken on surface. We are then introduced to our lead Arthur J Adams (Andrea Cocco) that meets scientist Adrian Moonlight (Rutger Hauer) and is tasked of finding the broken key and open a mysterious gate. Arthur goes, and his mission will go not without meeting various characters and bizarre situations. First he goes to a class held by writer Tullio De Marco (Michael Madsen) about the importance of paper, and after only 2 minutes of screen time we see Tullio hanging from a bridge. Second, he goes to count Rosebud (Christopher Lambert) that is an expert on the female body that has spme sort of metamorphosis where he becomes older and is then nowhere to be seen. Third, he goes to an abbey where Father Hugo (William Baldwin) tells Arthur about all the secrets of the text, and it's then shot by some marauders. After lots of padding Arthur will meet the older woman (Geraldine Chaplin) that will give him the Broken Key for opening the Zimurg Corporation, but I think nobody would see it.

To saying that THE BROKEN KEY is bad is certainly an understatement. The sets are great but the acting by the lead so heavy and the known names appear for just a few minutes and then they are nowhere to be seen, and you might think that with such respected names it would have been at least a decent viewing experience but nope, they put lots of unnecessary padding that made the movie last 2 hours and 15 minutes of absolute nonsense. The more the time passes the more you are bound to leave it, and I think I should deserve a medal for having seeing it to the very end! And the music is not only forgettable, but jarring as most of the other problems of the movie.

Overall, a movie so bad that it makes you ask why it was even made in the first place, but as it was over, I could see why it will always miss being in the Bottom 100... I am probably the only one who dared to finish it! If someone you know recommends it to you... run! Even for gluttons for punishments like me (that I had to take this task on my shoulders) is like a ride to the dark world. And don't say I didn't warn you!

This film just doesn't make sense. The dialogue, when not inaudible due to the musical score making unheard, is just nonsense. Coupling terrible directing and odious scripts means that I really could not make any sense of what characters were feeling.

For example, character voices cry out top volume in fear as soon as another new character enters focus despite being unknown to the protagonist and seconds before launching into a terribly choreographed fight scene.

Most of the actors are examples of once great actors who now are too tired to give a good interpretation of the script. No surprise to see the terribly depressing form of Michael Madsen there. I expected to see him with another washed-up actor of Tim Sizemore, but he manages to butcher the scenes enough on his own.

Another reviewer wrote about how this film is like nails down a blackboard. I think this is an apt description of scenes that jump around like some Junior film student's project made using home video segments rather than having a set and crew along with others who should have pulled together the show into some kind of discernible storyline or plot. Instead this film is honestly one of the worst ones I have ever seen.

If you want more evidence for how bad this film is, then consider this. My friends are all avid movie watchers. We've all sat through some turkeys in our time, but this was the first film we have ever watched that caused several caffeinated and sugar-high adults to fall asleep during watching it. We've NEVER done that before or since this movie.

Wow this is painful. I thought the movie was dubbed in English at first, because the voice acting is so stiff and monotone. The music is so obnoxious. It's so overdramatic and it often overpowers the dialogue. The story is rather disjointed, I'm hoping it was more due to poor editing, but I doubt it. Maybe they were trying to go for some kind of experimental style? I'm giving it a two as the production value for the sets and special effects were high. Unfortunately it just can't make up for the rest.

The shots are so nice, the plot has possibilities. But the movie lacks direction, refinement, and certainly money. All the sound is post-synced. The music sounds like a compilation of classical music which starts at the beginning of the film, never is muted, and then the voiceovers are completely out of sync. Even Rutger Hauer has a foreign accent!

Horrible, had to stop after 25 minutes.

The average rating of 4.x on this movie is generous. The writing is as bad as the written movie summary. The acting is non-existent, as the roles require nothing in this area. The story line is vaporous and plot non-existent.

The only positive point of this movie is rather good CGI... but these days such can be cranked out of someone's home computer using Blender, and gets no stars from me in the light of everything else in the film.

It is reasonable to assume most viewers will find this an incredibly long 2 hours. This movie just drags on, more so than most movies we've seen of this kind. It's not just bad, it's slow and bad.

Rutger Hauer seems to have a knack for choosing the worst roles these days. He brings his usual stoic half-humor to the role, but even that can't raise this film above 2 stars for me. This is definitely a "pass it by" film, with the non-audience better off for choosing to do so.