- [first lines]
- Swallows: [genially to the camera] You're a loser. It's just a fact. But what if I told you that I could help you change all of that. I'm a winner... but then you probably already know that. I'm also a connoisseur and a curator of the best life has to offer - everything that you'll never get to experience... until now. Leveraging my excellent palate and Darkstar technology, we have strategically created... Chicken Milk beer, so that everyone can have a little taste of my success. Go on... slam a...
- [a boom mic hits him in the head]
- Swallows: [angrily yelling to the filming crew] Fucking, fuck!