Marilu Henner, Corbin Bernsen, Philip Boyd, Chelsey Crisp, and Joe Williamson in In-Lawfully Yours (2016)

Quotes

In-Lawfully Yours

Jesse: I have an idea. Let's go churching. No, nope, not a verb. I still think we should go. You've been asking me to go for years. Today's the day.
Naomi: Maybe you should just go.
Jesse: No, I'm not going to church alone; they'd burn me at the stake.

Ben: The church could use some help... a little bit in the office, help out with youth club. It'd just be a few hours here and there.
Jesse: Would you be my boss?
Ben: Yes.
Jesse: Can I date my boss?
Ben: Let me check. Yes.
Jesse: Yes, then I would like this job.
Ben: You would?
Jesse: Yes.
Ben: Okay, what are your qualifications?
Jesse: Oh, I'm adorable, and...
Ben: You're hired.

Ben: I talk to God all the time. I just don't ask him for anything for myself anymore.

Jesse: [after their first kiss] That wasn't bad for a pastor.
Ben: That was pretty tame for a heathen, though.

Ben: Two please.
Jesse: Oh, no, I got mine.
Ben: No, they're $2.50 each. I'll treat.
Jesse: Okay, just don't think that I'm sleeping with you because you're paying.
Ben: She's kidding; we're not...
Jesse: I don't put out for $2.50, right Doris? But you spring for popcorn... I dunno. We'll talk about it.

Ben: Naomi, are you sure this is a good idea?
Naomi: My son wants me to move in with him. I'm not going to say no.
Ben: No, I mean that too. But -
[Jesse walks up to them]
Ben: Never mind.
Jesse: He means letting me stay with you.
Ben: That is not what I meant.
[looks at Naomi after Jesse passes]
Ben: . That's what I meant.

Ben: You know what? We don't generally ask questions during the sermon. Sorry.
Jesse: Oh, sorry.
[to the congregation]
Jesse: Sorry.
[whispers as she sits down]
Jesse: Of course you don't.
Naomi: It's all right.
Ben: Where was I?
Jesse: That's a question.
Ben: Is it?
Jesse: Also a question.

Ben: Monkey bread?
Jesse: Chazz and I got a divorce.
Ben: Since I've been in the kitchen?

Ben: C'mon. I'll walk you home.
Jesse: I'll walk *you* home. I assume you have a home, though, yes?
Ben: Yes. Technically it's a room in the back of the church, but yes.
Jesse: Awww.
Ben: The commute's great.

Ben: No. We're way past yelling. With Sarah, I um, I asked... I asked Him for a lot. When she got sick, we asked for a cure. When she got really sick, we asked for more time. Then at the end, I just asked that she wouldn't suffer. We didn't get any of it. So, I don't ask anymore.

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