Review by hcchristensen

There is not a single redeeming quality to this movie. There is not the tiniest little glimmer or scrap of originality, creativity, though, or lasting impression to be found. I am actually impressed at how every. Single. Thing. Was some kind of horror joke stereotype. I'm not just referring to the plot, but every camera shot, every setting, every character, line, "big twist reveal", even the line delivery and the expressions of the actors is somehow the exact same thing that is in a thousand other horror movies. Once again, I'm almost surprised that they were able to take every single trope from every single horror movie and combine it into one 1hr 40min string of cliche, after cliche that felt like being slapped across the face with a wet fish with every horribly overdone line, character, and camera shot that you feel you've seen hundreds of times before. It's such drivel that I genuinely considered it to be satire poking fun at all the tropes that so many horror movies use. But unfortunately I don't think so. They either really committed to the bit or everyone involved is so lacking of self awareness that they somehow can't realize that they've basically made nothing. Nothing as in something that is just purely devoid of anything interesting. I don't even know that I believe someone actually wrote this movie. I think they may have just rounded up some actors, handed out zero script, said two words to them all, "haunted house", and did everything in one take while everyone just kept saying the most generic lines off the top of their head. The only way you could ever have even a sliver of an enjoyable time with this movie is to get some friends together and just mystery science theater it, making fun of it throughout. Maybe make some "generic horror trope" bingo cards that would get filled up after just ten minutes. But even then it's still hard to sit through, and really I say just do not waste your time.