Review by Top_Dawg_Critic

I promise you will laugh throughout the entire runtime - in between eyerolls and cringes. I can understand and appreciate a low budget, but not even a zero budget would have a lead actor this bad. I can only assume that the wannabe Rambo (complete, with arm and head-band), Daniel Stisen, with mostly uncredited and short-film experience, won the lottery, and paid producers to be cast as a lead action star. The outdated tank-top look - also worn in his previous film, has come and gone back in the 80's. His raspy whisper voice sounded like he was holding back having an aneurysm from constantly flexing throughout the entire film, which was hilarious to constantly have to see. Keep flexing those lats so the arms stick out more lol.

Then you have long dragged out scenes in a screenplay riddled with plot and technical issues, that even with the decent pacing, the normally comfortable 97 min runtime felt much longer. Never mind all the cliched characters and dialogue, and the predictability of the entire story that's been done many times before and much better. Even the fight scenes were poorly choreographed and felt endless with how long, dragged out and boring they were, although the double hammers were the only nice touch of all the fight scenes.

Even the score was the most annoying, even for a B film. It was loud, overbearing and constant, and we were on the floor rolling around laughing with the Looney Tunes music. I'm surprised one of the characters weren't named Elmer Fudd. The only redeeming quality was the somewhat decent directing, considering how flaccid the screenplay was. There were some good shots, especially with the lightning storm in the beginning. But either than that, there's no reason to waste your time watching this, if only to get drunk and laugh at how bad this and the acting is. It's a generous 3/10 from me, because newb writers have to start somewhere, and the concept was somewhat inviting, albeit poorly executed.