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Bullet Train Down (2022)

Review by llVIU

Bullet Train Down

2/10

100$ budget on this youtube video?

Okay, a narrative about something something a train, and forgive me if this is a spoiler, but... they die if the train stops. Not ground breaking, kinda boring actually... but what is the deal with the budget in this "movie"? It feels like a cheap group youtube video, the actors are so bad, the props are so bad, everything feels so cheap. Especially the writing. 30 minutes in and I couldn't take it anymore, there wasn't a SINGLE line of dialogue that was funny, interesting or clever in any way at at all, it was just dead text on a paper. And some "WTF" moments that make absolutely no sense at all like rocks randomly flying into the train for no reason at all. How? Why? What? Loud bomb noises in the back of the train "uh what was that noise, was it a bomb?" idiot kid says "BOMB????" why are these people so dumb. Then some other guy says "it's ok, the train would stop if there was something bad" oh you mean apart from a window shattering and a loud bomb explosion and train shaking, or the person in front of you bleeding, yeah everything is perfectly fine. I just want to grab these people and strangle them for being so dumb. And the dialogues are so unnatural too. Even the premise is unnatural, people acting all amazed at a train going 200 mph.... woohoo... who cares. Go in europe or asia if you wanna go on a fast train. Ok maybe not europe. Really, a plane can go way faster and fly but you don't see people being amazed at that (anymore) at least not for the last 50-100 years. It's just a train, calm down.

I will give it credit for a scene where a person gets strangled and they actually struggle instead of just immediately dying without any problems. I can't give it 1 star since i didn't see any blatant sexism/racism/etc... at least not yet, i quit after 30 minutes.

But hey maybe the "movie" works if you wanna get down with your friends and watch a laughingly bad movie and make fun of it. How many bad things can you spot?
  • llVIU
  • Feb 11, 2023

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