Review by mwhipple-53496

This movie is, in a word, mediocre. Everything about it is just sort of banally awful. The plot is stupid, the understanding of technology is execrable, the cinematography is "Dad got a camcorder for Christmas." The acting is... well, I'm not sure there was any acting, I think they were all reading their lines off teleprompters that the crew had hauled into the woods. And the main character, Barabbas, oh, God, he was *dreadful*. But not even in a funny way. To call his delivery wooden is an insult to trees. The man can barely speak coherently. To make up for that, he says his lines with the pacing of an aardvark on Quaaludes. I would pay $1,000.00, cash, for him to sign a contract that says he will never have anything to do with motion pictures ever again.

I did watch it all the way through to see if there was something, anything, that could redeem the dreadful tedium. Spoiler: There. Was. Not. Don't. Just don't. Go watch funny cat videos online or something.