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Ed Regine, Natalia Zaragoza, and Gary Karapetyan in Czech Mate on Ice (2017)

Review by RudeArtAndDesign_Com

Czech Mate on Ice

2/10

Makes the "might ducks" movies look like an Oscar winner

Here we have an incredibly laughably bad story of a starry eyed dreamer immigrant and his family coming to the United States in search of a better life. (Nothing wrong with that but, at the sake of editorializing, it appears within 3 wks of entering the US theyre already living and working illegally) Our hero the son in the family was a hockey player back home in the Czech Republic and wants to play professionally so, he chases his dream to play for the LA Stars. And Holy $#!+ is this short movie freaking awful! So bad Im going to skip the in-depth review and since it's a sports related movie, I'm just going to score it:

1: Luckily this thing is only 21minutes long but yet I still found myself ffwd'ing through half of it -2

2: The "professional hockey team" only has seven players that all appear to be over 40, out of shape and can barely skate. As a lifelong hockey player myself absolutely none of the hockey related dialogue sounds like anything you'd hear anywhere near a hockey rink -2

3: The dialogue (throughout, not just the hockey speak) sounds like it was written by an 8yr old... a very slow 8yr old -2

4: The acting... goodgoogly ooogly jeez Im tongue tied trying to explain just how awful the acting was. Good thing hockey sticks aren't made of wood anymore 'cuz I'd have a hard time telling them from the actors -4

5: The camera work and direction was not as bad as everything else. You expect with a flick this bad you'd see a boom mic, cut an actors head half out of frame or watch scenes out of focus +2

There you have it folks "Czech Mate on Ice" the hockey movie that makes the "Mighty Ducks" look the "Citizen Kane" of hockey movies
  • RudeArtAndDesign_Com
  • Dec 30, 2019

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