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Fire Twister (2015)

Review by the_glorious_sob

Fire Twister

2/10

I discovered the DVD in Walmart; expect the expected

I came across this Casper van Dien motion picture at Wal-Mart with the intent to find a really crappy disaster to watch & it pretty much was what I expected it to be. As a fan of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," this was pretty much not unlike the cinema the show has screened, & I'm pretty sure the observatory was also the same one in the comedy's "Teen-Age Crime Wave" episode. Van Dien was just one of two actors I recognized; the man playing the corrupt executive of whoever made the super-fuel or something was Joe Regalbuto, & has seriously aged since doing "Murphy Brown" 2 decades since. The SFX made me laugh each time I saw it; the good guys basically unleash what really should be just a mere blaze but turns out to be a 21st century version of the spinning inferno from "The Ten Commandments" that just moves about wreaking fiery havoc on Los Angeles. I was hoping the DVD had Spanish subtitles as I prefer not following the story listening to the dialogue to a movie I superficially watch. Nope, the DVD only had a trailer & I watched it on muting but I didn't miss much. Again, it's a ragtag bunch of misfits battling a monster fire & the villains who made it led by Van Dien, whose hair still looks great amidst hot temperatures. That's probably the advantage of the low humidity in California; no blow- dryer needed. Also the violence is surprisingly limited as nobody's flailing about in flames. I guess w/ this low-budget film they not only couldn't afford makeup & prosthetics to depict badly burned victims but couldn't even get a stuntman to cover himself in flammable jelly. In conclusion, "Fire Twister" is a typical DVD-only disaster film w/ an unfamiliar cast & a very familiar story-line per disaster films.
  • the_glorious_sob
  • Mar 31, 2017

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