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Bill Goldberg and Kurupt in Mission Alcatraz 2 (2007)

Review by resurrection-91105

Mission Alcatraz 2

3/10

Goldburke

Goldberg. To anyone who knows him he's an unstoppable force, sheer brutality in the ring, 173 win streak, 285 pounds of intensity.

Trying his hand at acting, I expect he'll be lending some of those qualities into another blistering performance. This time in Half past dead 2.

However, watching about 30 minutes of it I soon discover the problem, the writers have seemed to borrow heavily from the first Shrek film. His character Burke, is just Shrek with a goatee and Kurupt, providing the 'comic relief' is just a p*ss poor Donkey. Sticking true to the shrek storyline the main focus of the film is to 'rescue the princess' In this case there's two of them, Burke's daughter and Donkey's bitch. They have both been kidnapped during a prison riot which I guess was tossed in to throw us off the scent of the swamp.

During the riot you are treated to a selection of fights that look like they'be been choreographed by David Blunkett, a 'rent a Mexican prisoner' royal rumble consisting of Hispanic actors who have been in every cheap prison b movie out there and some of the worst character acting by Bill Goldberg your ever likely to see. While all that action takes place, you have the pleasure of a whiny amateurish gangster rap soundtrack that sounds like it was written by a 13 year old in Portsmouth.

In conclusion, stick to wrestling.
  • resurrection-91105
  • Jan 16, 2016

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