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Stephen Baldwin, Danny Glover, Daryl Hannah, Rutger Hauer, and Michael Madsen in 2047: The Final War (2014)

Review by kopoko

2047: The Final War

1/10

binge gone wrong

So everyone's at Madsen's getting high as hell. Hannah is swinging off a chandelier slamming mermaid-tinis, whilst Glover has been on the sofa doing balloons for days. Then boom, one of the Baldwin brothers and that guy from Baderunner find a hundred pills from the early 90s. The party gets shipped to Italy with Glover on the sofa and all. After a week the comedown of we're all doomed begins; they have a look in the mirror and this turgid nonsense is created.

CGI wise it's like thy decided that Sayonara Jupiter meets Home and Away was the epitome of model/set design and recreated it. The production is so bad it's just bad.

The acting is depressing. You start wondering why Steven Segal didn't get the main role to give it more life. How low can we go? The rest are a joke as well. The only actor who gets away with anything is the girl in red who doesn't say a word. She's like that unfortunate really smart and fit South American girl that turns up in a dysfunctional sociopathic house share in Bethnal Green or some other arse-end of London.

Someone should edit this with only shots of the red girl with some Gregorian chanting music and turn it into a soft porn spiritual healing mind retreat. Sights of heavenly salami.
  • kopoko
  • Nov 10, 2014

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