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Rachel Nichols, Zoë Bell, and Tracie Thoms in L'arène (2013)

Review by davidnhewko

L'arène

7/10

"Raze"n hell. Ha.. Did you see what I did there? I'm a genius, you should read my review.

I'm going to start this review with a secret: I decided to watch this movie because it looked hot. I mean, hot chicks brawling in prison, there's bound to be at least a nip-slip and if it sucks, there's a good chance I'll see some nudity, so I still win. So, as soon as the girlfriend left, I pressed play. Then I saw Zoe Bell cave some chicks head in.... game changer, not what I was expecting at all. At that point I realized there probably won't be a lesbian shower scene. But, as soon as I recognized Zoe from "Death Proof" I got a little excited in another way because I also remembered that she's a freaking awesome stunt performer. From that point on, the movie went in the direction I hoped it would. The action was quality and ruthless. Zoe Bell should star in more action movies, she's one of the few females in Hollywood (I know she's Australian, but you know what I mean, don't be a smart ass.) that I could easily take seriously as an action hero. I'm not sexist, it's just that many women in Hollywood are super skinny and frail looking (like, how much would getting punched by Kate Beckinsale really hurt? seriously?). There were even moments in this movie where I uncontrollably cheered aloud, at home... by myself... in my underwear.

For the people with children, if you're even considering showing this to your kids, you're a bad parent. For the dudes with significant others, you might want to watch this one alone. She probably won't like it, and she might question you're sanity because you'll like it.. which will probably come up again in some sort of fight 3 months later. So I recommend putting it on a shelf with the porn and wait till she's out to watch it. For the ladies, if your the metal-head/horror movie type, you'll probably like this and somehow find it empowering.

I just noticed that all I did was praise this movie and you're probably wondering why I gave it a 7? The story was a little weak and nothing can be perfect...except for "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" Dave
  • davidnhewko
  • Jun 4, 2014

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