Tropical Hunksploitation Cheese
One way of looking at this movie is that it's one of the worst to come from its time and place. In this context, we see two young, good-looking hunks, both outlaws, who end up stranded on a tropical island inhabited by primitive hot white women who all speak broken English and cling to weird taboos and traditions, such as believing the sharks are gods, or some such nonsense.
Another way of looking at this movie is that clever editing could have turned it into a touching story about two men who, while vacationing in Hawaii near the Hospital for Brain Damaged Women, discover just how attracted they are to each other soon after one of them tries to stop being gay by dating one of the native women. In this sense, one could consider this movie a well done piece of cinema history, especially since it was ahead of its time on the topic of civil rights.
It is by imagining the latter scenario that this movie can be made entertaining enough to sit though. If you watch this by taking everything at face value, this flick is way too boring to finish. I'd say the only major motivation anyone would have to watch this movie is if they'd purchased some sort of boxed set that includes this, which is, incidentally, the only reason I watched it.
The full synopsis goes like this: Two young, well-built dudes end up stranded on a Hawaiian beach and decide to never wear shirts again. They encounter a civilization of aforementioned broken English-speaking women led by a psychotic mother matron character who is obsessed with local tradition, which involves human sacrifice to appease the shark god. This means feeding a few of the young hotties to a mid-sized shark that may or may not be alive.
One of the guys, Chris (Bill Cord) eventually falls in love with one of the native babes, Mahia (Lisa Montell), much to the irritation of Chris's ambiguously gay partner, Jim (Don Durant). Since the mother matron (Jeanne Gerson) is a nasty old woman who hates men, she decides to have Mahia sacrificed to the shark god to make herself feel better about neither Chris nor Jim finding her attractive.
SHE GODS OF SHARK REEF: it's not the worst thing I've ever seen, but it's far from the best. The good news is that this sucker is, I do believe, public domain. Those who might search for it could possibly locate it online for free.
Another way of looking at this movie is that clever editing could have turned it into a touching story about two men who, while vacationing in Hawaii near the Hospital for Brain Damaged Women, discover just how attracted they are to each other soon after one of them tries to stop being gay by dating one of the native women. In this sense, one could consider this movie a well done piece of cinema history, especially since it was ahead of its time on the topic of civil rights.
It is by imagining the latter scenario that this movie can be made entertaining enough to sit though. If you watch this by taking everything at face value, this flick is way too boring to finish. I'd say the only major motivation anyone would have to watch this movie is if they'd purchased some sort of boxed set that includes this, which is, incidentally, the only reason I watched it.
The full synopsis goes like this: Two young, well-built dudes end up stranded on a Hawaiian beach and decide to never wear shirts again. They encounter a civilization of aforementioned broken English-speaking women led by a psychotic mother matron character who is obsessed with local tradition, which involves human sacrifice to appease the shark god. This means feeding a few of the young hotties to a mid-sized shark that may or may not be alive.
One of the guys, Chris (Bill Cord) eventually falls in love with one of the native babes, Mahia (Lisa Montell), much to the irritation of Chris's ambiguously gay partner, Jim (Don Durant). Since the mother matron (Jeanne Gerson) is a nasty old woman who hates men, she decides to have Mahia sacrificed to the shark god to make herself feel better about neither Chris nor Jim finding her attractive.
SHE GODS OF SHARK REEF: it's not the worst thing I've ever seen, but it's far from the best. The good news is that this sucker is, I do believe, public domain. Those who might search for it could possibly locate it online for free.
- Kitten-eating-ATM
- Jul 11, 2009