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Hell Mountain (1998)

Review by anxietyresister

Hell Mountain

1/10

Welcome to my movie restaurant!!

Hi there! I'll be your waiter today. Want to stare at girls in the flimsiest of prison costumes with while doing hot, sweaty manual labour?! Then step this way, sir! We also have lesbian threesomes, bare backed whipping and even a bit of S and M for your viewing pleasure too. All contained in this lovely, sticky eastern European pudding, which is so cheap so even the riff-raff can afford it! Unfortunately, in order to cut back on expenses, we've had to forgo certain other non-essential ingredients. This includes, but by means is limited to: a screenplay, decent actors, a convincing set and non-repetitive music. Well, that's what you pay your money for, sir.

To make it an even more tantalising dish, we've also linked it to the infamous Chained Heat series, you know... the ultimate in ladies behind bars films. Even though it has absolutely no tie in with those flicks, it was a last minute decision made by our marketing people to rake in extra cash from all those gullible horndogs out there. Crafty, eh? You might say we're tried to mislead you, but as long as you get your quota of nudity and we get your dollars, who gives a monkeys?! That's right sir... that'll be $9.99 then, including the copy of Mary Poppins you also ordered. Something for now, and something for later on when the kids are in bed eh! NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK... Suits you sir!! (Fast Show references to fade out...) 0/10
  • anxietyresister
  • Nov 2, 2007

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