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Sybil Danning and Gavin Brannan in Private Passions

Review by BrettErikJohnson

Private Passions

2/10

It was definitely the '80s.

There sure were an overabundance of films like this in the 1980's. I suppose you might classify it as a "sex comedy". It's quite tame by American standards for the genre but there was both female and male flesh on display and also an attempt at some humor so...I dunno.

A young American man goes to visit his cousin in Austria. For some reason, everyone speaks English. I'll be honest, the film makers do something I absolutely despise. They dub the entire movie after it's been filmed. It looks and sounds horrible. Anyway, the American is in lust with his cousin's stepsister but there's a problem. The cousin is in also in lust with his stepsister. The American is wishy washy throughout the entire film and has all the charisma found in your average styrofoam cup. The female lead is your typical long-haired blonde with no acting talent beyond standing around looking bored.

There is some tennis playing, sporadic bouts of sex, pointless dinner conversations and bicycle riding. The "action" found in the film consists entirely of one scene where someone falls through a ceiling. Thrilling! Throw in an obnoxiously awful 1980's song that plays repeatedly throughout the film and it adds up to an hour and a half of life being wasted away. 2/10
  • BrettErikJohnson
  • Jul 11, 2006

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