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Viggo Mortensen in Capitaine Alatriste (2006)

Review by vmm-1

Capitaine Alatriste

Spanish cinema's illness: The usual suspects turn out the same sad joke

Congratulations to the marketing department. I bit the hook and contributed my 6.5 Euros to this calamity. Awfully acted out sketches of what should have been characters, disastrous editing, horrible script, dreadful muzac, even the locations are terrible and terribly shot! What a sad joke. Worst of all: boring. Even the darkest epic needs some humor and wit. Quevedo on prozac? Let's forget about it and let the great man rest in peace. Sorry about that, Don Francisco. The premise was inspirational, the money was there, of course that alone does not produce another "Barry Lyndon", "Master and Commander", or "Unforgiven", not even "Cyrano", but at least I think we could expect something better than "Curro Jimenez", a Spanish TV series about andalusian "bandoleros". "Curro" turns out to be a grand epic when compared to this fiasco. 10.000 extras? Someone ran away with their paycheck or the dp forgot to bring the wide angle that day to fit them in. I firmly believe the problem is the same as always. The same "amiguetes" with their unresolved complexes, telling each other how great and daring the other is. Bring a friendly international Star to the mix (one that is acceptable because walks barefooted, drinks mate, and again, tells all the others how great they are and how great it is to be in such company) and see how it adds to the disaster. Viggo (as every amiguete "in the know" friendly calls him) can't pronounce a decent syllable, but he is, oh well... VIGGO, and that's what matters to our provincial "you are so great o' you" actors and director. I heard a few of the actors talking about how wonderful "Tano" (the director) had been on set, letting every one contribute and understanding how film making was a team effort. Yes, film making is a team effort, as well as a classical orchestra is, but IT NEEDS A DIRECTOR. Where were you Mr.Tano? If you ever have another chance (of course you will, you are an amiguete and a great guy), please at least DIRECT. Really "triste".
  • vmm-1
  • Sep 4, 2006

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