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Fairy Tales (1978)

Review by gavin6942

Fairy Tales

10/10

You Won't See A Movie Like This Ever Again

"My Venus lies five inches below my belly-button. But it's better there than in Uranus." I gave this film a 10 not because it's a great movie (it's not) but because it is so unique and weird that everyone really must watch it before they die to truly experience the world.

My friend Jason and I both watched this when we were twelve and fell in love with its absurdity. Now, thirteen years later Jason found it again on Netflix and we decided to bring back old memories. Oh, and it was as strange as we remembered if not stranger.

The story if of a prince who must have children in order to carry on his kingdom. But he can only be aroused by one woman, a princess he has never met and who may or may not exist. So he goes on a musical quest (yes, this is a musical) through fairy land to find her. Along the way, he encounters Little Bo Peep, Jack and Jill, Tommy Tucker, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and others. And they sing, and they're naked.

The songs are great and the excessive nudity is interesting. What is funny is that the nudity is not erotic and at no point does anything sexual ever happen. Yes, seven clothed midgets do lie on top of a naked Snow White, but no flesh touches flesh.

The only attractive woman in the film (besides maybe Jill) is none other than Linnea Quigley, known for her roles in numerous B-movies and fro ma few Cheech and Chong films. Among horror fans, she's best known as the goth chick from "Return of the Living Dead" (which, incidentally, might be one of the greatest zombie movies ever). While her part is very small, this also happens to be one of her first roles. So if you like a young Linnea, you really need to see this. (Although, as I said in the intro, if you really want to live you have to see this anyway.) Recommended beyond your wildest dreams. Just don't let two twelve year old boys watch it or they'll grow up to become addicted to the absurd... or worse yet, horse porn.
  • gavin6942
  • Apr 3, 2006

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