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Ted Jan Roberts in Tiger Heart (1996)

Review by Mister_Anderson

Tiger Heart

5/10

So terrible, it's fantastic

I got a kick reading some of the reviews on this site for this movie, namely the people complaining that this film gave them convulsions and so forth. On the contrary, this movie is so horrible that I was hypnotized. You could not pry my eyes from the TV set.

In any event, no need to describe the plot because it's too ridiculous to discuss. Let's just put it at this: a wanna-be karate kid dork fights gangsters working for a crooked real estate developer. Clichés and bad acting abound. Maybe my favorite was the character "Steve" who is another karate kid wannabe and has an inexplicable rivalry with the main character. (It would be more believable if Steve was actually cool. But nope, he's a dork too, so why no love?)

The "fight" scenes are anything but. It's the same one bad guy at a time procedure...kind of like a movie version of Streets of Rage for the Genesis.

Highlights: - Six-year-olds beating up musclemen gangsters. No really. - Jennifer Lyons and her two best friends (and I'm not talking about the girls the comic sidekick tries to hit on). - The random knife fight in the diner. - The comic sidekick's lame pick-up lines (so lame, I actually laughed). - The inexplicably evil real estate developer. - The stubborn uncle / convenience store owner who "ain't gonna let no one make him sell."

Why did I give it a 5? On one hand, it gets a 1 because sadly the director did not intend for this movie to be a joke. On the other hand, it gets a 10 for all the reasons listed above. So I picked the average.

You MUST see this movie. Preferably with a group of friends.
  • Mister_Anderson
  • Sep 18, 2005

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