Review by S1rr34l

Ah, Mermaid Isle-a film that promises the siren song of aquatic horror but instead paddles in tepid bathwater. The concept is intriguing enough: a deadly mermaid lurking just below the surface of idyllic, sunlit shores. Unfortunately, the execution feels less like The Shape of Water and more like a damp re-run of Jaws 4: The Revenge-but without the shark.

The script, alas, appears to have sprung a leak, with dialogue so wooden it could build a lifeboat. The titular mermaid? She remains elusive, teasing us from water so clear you could spot a goldfish, yet somehow, no one sees her. It's less suspenseful and more a test of how long you can suspend disbelief before you float away entirely.

The direction is about as effective as throwing a lifebuoy into the void. There are glimmers-scenes that hint at a tension-filled undercurrent-but they're quickly drowned by indulgent pacing and gaps wide enough to sail a ship through. The performers, bless them, try their best to keep this ship from capsizing, but even average acting can't save a film this waterlogged.

In short, Mermaid Isle drifts aimlessly, leaving viewers stranded in a sea of missed opportunities. You won't need a bigger boat; you'll need a better script.